Darling [h.s]

37

Song For This Chapter:

Worst of You-Maisie Peters

"You role-play the good guy
Then induce your white lies
But I see 'em in the sunrise
You got me right in the palm of your hand and you know it
Oh, it's what you do
So let me drown, I'll be there with the band, hit the sea bed
All I'd see is you
So give me your worst excuses, any reason to stay"

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Harry's POV:

Waking up this morning and being hit with the memories of last night immediately filled me with stress. I should have never brought her there. I wasn't trying to parade her around I just wanted her to make a good impression so the boys let me sneak her into parties.

I'm currently walking down the hallway to Darlene's apartment. It feels much shorter than I remember. I'm dreading this, usually I'm the one who pushes for us to talk things out but I don't think the end result of this is going to be good. This hole may be too deep to dig myself out of.

I stand in front of her door taking a deep breath trying to calm my nerves and preparing myself to practically beg for her to not walk away. I fucking cried last night, I panicked. She saw me cry, completely break down. I didn't ever want her to see me like that. I couldn't let her walk away without me trying to make it right. The last time I let her do that she didn't talk to me for a week. She was ready to end things, her mind feeding her information and drawing conclusions.

I finally knock on her door and I'm met with her face, she looks tired and I know it's because of me and I hate that. I made her cry last night, the sight made me feel helpless. I can deal with angry Darlene but I felt powerless when she broke down. She's such a strong headed person, she doesn't show her emotions often and the fact that I caused the hurt on her face made everything hurt even worse.

"Hi" I say after we've both been standing here looking at each other, neither of us know where to start.

"Hi" She sighs out going to open the door more to let me in.

We sit down on her couch, her fiddling with her fingers letting me know how nervous she is right now. She takes a deep breath before speaking,

"I don't think I can do this anymore" She says trying to mask the pain in her voice. My stomach drops at her statement and the panic already beginning to bubble up inside of me.

"Darlene please-"

"Harry, I tried to forgive you I really did. But this. This is so much worse" She says shaking her head as she looks down at her lap.

"Can we please just talk about it first" I say in desperation, "Before you decide"

"Talking about it is only going to make me angry, if we're screaming at each other it's gonna get nowhere" She defends finally looking up at me.

"Yell at me, scream at me for all I care. Just don't give up before anything has been said" I plead, I'm grasping on to any ounce of hope.

"You didn't just hurt me this time Harry, you hurt Maya too" She says her voice already beginning to hold anger.

The fact I hurt Maya was something I was not expecting. That has also been weighing heavily on my conscious. I never wanted to corrupt her and I always felt a weird urge to protect Maya from the cruelness of the world yet I completely failed yesterday. If Darlene doesn't forgive me than Maya surely won't. So not only would I lose Darlene but I'd lose her as well. I don't think I can deal with two loses, let alone one. I know I need to apologize but I needed to talk to Darlene first.