I'm Just Curious Too: Reconciliation

Chapter 8.2

"Lupin, slow down," I called out when she started tugging me with her leash.

It was beginning to swelter in the house and having Dad's constant grumbling only worked me up more. My anxiety spiked and any more noise was only going to incite a panic attack. Lupin thankfully waddled her fluffy self over and demanded to be let out, so I used her as an excuse to escape. However, I redirected our path from around the block to the cemetery. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, my feet lead to Jack.

The darkening day didn't scare me. It was welcomed to be shrouded from any familiar eyes. Lupin also wagged happily away, not minding that we were going further than her usual rounds. I could see the gate of the cemetery: the iron-wrought design of flowers and vines bringing a serene look to the place. If it weren't for the headstones, one would mistake it for a well-kempt lush garden for picnics or the sorts. I drew nearer and was met with a soft hello. I was no stranger to the keeper and as if we were appointed to meet, he was standing by the small shed within the gate with his keys in hand.

"For some odd reason, I couldn't settle down. I guess this was why," he informed me as he walked over to the gate with his torch in hand.

Mr. Duric was an old man, one whom everyone knew as the foreign sweetheart of our neighbourhood. He had been a doctor, autopsy specialist, funeral parlor owner, and now the owner of a cemetery that he chose to man himself.

I took Lupin off her leash and she immediately ran off. I saw her briefly sprint to and fro before I knew she went the distance. With the torch in hand, I started a slow walk down the path. The sounds of crickets started, a random bark from Lupin and my footsteps were the only things that were audible. When visibility reduced, I turned on the torch, aiming it to the ground ahead of me.

"Erica would lose it over here," I chuckled to myself.

In as goth as she was, there was always the fact that spiders and late-night walks scared her. The fashion was her only interest. Anything further was too disturbing to her bubbly soul. It took me a few minutes to reach the gravestone that had been refurbished. We managed to put a picture of Jake to it, editing me out and keeping a headshot of the jovial half of me. I missed him deeply. Sweeping aside some fallen flowers with my foot, I made space for myself to sit. The light was kept on his picture as I took deep breaths to calm myself down. My body remained constricted, keeping my muscles tense despite the walk over I took. After a moment of silence, I began:

"I've met Fabien again. That guy I was dating years ago. He looks damn good and seems to be a lot better than when we had separated. I think I like him still," I shifted to pull my knees to my chest when I admitted that. "Dad's been at his peak behavior though. He doesn't hit anyone like before but he can't keep his words in check. Sometimes I just want to punch him in the jaw but mom would probably skin me for that."

I felt like I should laugh at the last bit but I was tired. It wasn't a joke. A part of me wanted my father gone but the guilt of that desire kept me from vocalizing it to any other person.

"Jack... is there more to ... can I do anything right? Works just piling up and no one's caring to plan correctly. I mean, taking leave during peak times? Or handing lazy people's work over to someone who needs help with current stuff? Where is management's head at? Also returning home to that miserable s.o.b. is not helping. Can you believe –"I stretched my legs out once more before I used my left hand to express myself with waves and points. "- this man tells me that I haven't earned my keep to stay at the house. What does that even mean? I moved out years ago and I'm only back to help him. Him, Jack! He is ungrateful! –I don't sit around doing fuck all!"