I'm Just Curious Too: Reconciliation

Chapter 11

The curtains were drawn abruptly and the sudden noise made me wince before sitting up in the bed. My heart pounded relentlessly that I could swear a heart attack was going to follow. To my dismay, it didn't. Rather, a new sight filled my vision and disappointed me further. Jacque chuckled and came closer to the bed, a mug in each hand and a smile on his face. He extended the left mug to me and waited for it to be in my hold before he sat down.

"I wish I recorded that," he teased as he sat on my bed.

I scowled at him and looked down into the cup, creamy coffee steaming back at me. A sigh left me as I closed my eyes and hunched over. My body felt much worse than the night before and this type of wake-up made for no healing. Jacque took an audible sip of his drink, irking the soul out of me. What could he want with me now? I adjusted myself to lean on the wall that the bed was pressed against.

"Rough night?" Jacque asked with no consideration of the half-awake state I was in.

"Yeah. What are you doing?" I asked, lifting the cup to my lips and taking a sip.

The taste was just right. Jacque nodded and moved on to the bed, folding his legs under him and he faced me. I turned and looked for my phone to check the time. Seven in the morning. I put the cup down on my left thigh as I closed my eyes and tilted my head back.

"How have you been?"

I opened my eyes halfway. My body was unsettled and Jacque's presence seemed to be the reason. I took a deep breath.

"Good."

"I'm talking to you. Eyes forward."

I moved off the wall to look at Jacque. Our father used to say that to us when he wanted to communicate something important. Looking at Jacque now, he resembled my father with his trimmed beard. He lifted his cup and spoke before taking a sip.

"Have you considered going for counseling since the last time we spoke?"

I mimicked him and lifted my cup up, my eyes focusing on it as I spoke. "What for?"

"The fact you think you're gay."

I closed my eyes and balanced my cup on my right thigh.

"Jacque, it has nothing to do with you. Please just drop it and don't think-"

"It has something to do with me as I've stated before. Fabien, you're honestly not living the best life-"

"So!?" I snapped, glaring at Jacque. I couldn't raise my voice because fear still enveloped a large part of me, but my voice didn't falter. "And that counseling, therapy – whatever, made you turn out to be better? You're seriously thinking that as you sit here, threatening to ruin my life?"

"You've ruined your life. I am simply trying to tell you that it can be helped."

"Fuck off," I muttered, moving off the bed to put the coffee cup on the window sill.

Jacque emptied his cup in one gulp and wiped his mouth with the back of his palm. He turned to face me and held the cup with both of his hands.

"I spent so many years under therapists, rehab centers, and suicide watchers. We were separated then and I never asked why you weren't sent to the same places as me. I guess you were absolved since nothing extreme was done. By the time I came out, I was shocked to be informed that you were moved to stay with Amanda and that I had no right to get in contact. I've managed to recover though and am now in a stable relationship with a woman who understands and accepts me. I'm on better terms with mum. And I am now here to help you."