I'm Just Curious Too: Reconciliation

Chapter 15

The evenings were for living when it came to Fabien and Shaun.

Day two was another straight drive back home where they sat at the gate once more for more conversation. Shaun returned home to his father in high spirits and his mother updating him on the improvements in his health. It didn't mean anything to Shaun, but he just listened to keep the peace.

Day three was dinner across Fabien's house at the shopping centre where they ate and joked to their hearts content. This left Fabien feeling a little lighter when he reached home after the day of hard work. As soon as he crossed the threshold to his room, his phone beeped. It was Hugo. Ever since he had returned, Fabien had kept in contact. It was mostly out of courtesy but as time passed, it was a welcomed interaction. Hugo never focused on that week or what he now knew about Fabien. Instead, he would share some pictures and stories about his days or family, some art that he thought would interest Fabien and some fun doodles he made himself. Fabien responded but felt tempted to ask about his mom and brother, who both kept silent - eerily so.

Day four was a movie date. The dark cinema was a good excuse to get close and both were not wasting the chance to lean on the other or sneak some hand holding. Shaun felt relieved that Fabien was reciprocating. Neither made a comment on it and neither went beyond the hug that ended that night.

Then day five was an invite in to the home. Fabien asked Shaun to come over because it was a Friday and Kiel wasn't going to be back that night. Shaun did not hesitate to say yes and got them home in good timing with the intention to relax. As if the universe knew the plan, Shaun was constantly bombarded with call after call as he drove them home. Fabien listened as it started from a superior at work, to a coworker, to his mom, to a random client, to his work – and then silence. The day had drained the niceties out of Shaun but he spared Fabien the smiles he could master when they reached the house.

The two started the preparation for a chicken stir-fry, Fabien instructing Shaun while Shaun hopped to whatever task he was given silently. The space Fabien and Shaun were in was awkward for Fabien but comfortable for Shaun who became aloof. The day had taken it's toll on him and not a single word was forming in his mind for this moment. It was his choice to just enjoy the time here but the sudden shift from being talkative and attentive to Fabien during the workday to the sudden quietness unnerved Fabien. Fabien thought a hundred miles per hour and the conversation in his mind led to side glances to gauge Shaun's mood and constant "you okay?" utterances that Shaun simply nodded to with a weak smile. This was unusual to Fabien since he had known Shaun to always fill the moment with a remark or two.

"We can head to the lounge while this cooks a bit," Fabien advised as he stirred the sizzling contents.

"Hm hm," Shaun sounded as he washed his hands, wiping them dry on a cloth that was folded near the sink.

"Are you ok?" Fabien leaned in to Shaun's vision, eyes scanning his face as he boldly asked.

"Yeah. Sorry," Shaun took a step back and a deep breath. "I got to smoke."

An apology was mumbled from Shaun before he stepped outside and fished for a cig from his pants pocket. He lit it and sucked on the bud, rolling up his sleeves before pulling it from his lips to unplug the cloud of smoke from his body. The deep inhale relieved him. He noticed Fabien asking if he was okay many times and that was the sign that he was disassociating. It was not uncomfortable to him but many people had alerted him that he was acting strange when he shut down like that. This occurred more often after the medication had been weaned off. His left forefinger and thumb pinched the ridge of his nose as he took another drag of the cigarette. Fabien joined Shaun minutes later, the smoke break halfway through and the time probably passing by faster than Shaun felt it would.