I'm Just Curious Too: Reconciliation

Chapter 11.3

The plane landed and the disembarking took a long time. I adjusted my satchel straps on my shoulders and stared vacantly at the floor as my passport was being checked and stamped. Once in hand, I mindlessly followed the crowd to the checkpoint's exit, lifting my head when I got into the airports' public area. I moved a few steps from the door before a sign with my name got my attention. Kiel stood there with it above his head, a smile on his face as he waved it enthusiastically – annoying the people that stood next to him. I laughed a little as I walked to him but the closer I got, the more I felt my face distort. 

The change must have mortified others as I watched Kiel near me with concern before disappearing from my vision. He hid me in the nook of his neck before a sob escaped from me. I hadn't thought about what to tell Kiel or how to act but for some reason, the tension left my body at the sight of Kiel and all I wanted to do was cry and stay hidden away forever. His grip tightened around me before he started shifting us slowly. It was an uncomfortable waltz in our position but I'm sure he was being considerate of the crowd that waited for their guests' returns. We stopped moving and stayed still for a moment before Kiel released me. Like popcorn, I had sobbed, then cried, then reduced to sniffles and abrupt sobs. His hands cupped my face and lifted it for him to see.

"Whatever it is, you are safe and here with me. You know this right?"

I nodded in his hands and placed mine over his. "S-sorry. I don't know what happened there. I was relieved to see you."

"Ugh, I'm flattered," Kiel hugged me once more and stepped back to wipe my face with his palms. "Let's head home. You need to shower."

"Do I smell that bad?"

"Yup."

I swatted his shoulder and gained his laughter, following him outside. I noticed his hands were empty but didn't make a fuss over the dropped sign. It wasn't important anyway. We stepped out of the building and into the car park. The walk over was slow and midway, Kiel reached for my hand and laced our fingers together. He matched my pace and pulled me closer by the hand. I kept my eyes on the ground, my mind far away as we walked.

"Bibi, do I have to kick someone's ass?"

I squeezed his hand and laughed feebly. After the weeks of discomfort, I felt a heavyweight lift off me when I was next to Kiel. We stopped by the car for a moment before letting go of each other's hands.

"It just ... fell apart. Jacque... He," I choked on the word and had to swallow a few times before I could finish. "He told."

Kiel raised his hands and cupped my face. "It's ok. Sometimes things have to fall apart before they fall into place."

I cleared my throat and nodded, removing his hand before turning to open the door. I was not in the mood for any enlightenment. I just wanted a good rest before returning to work. It took Kiel a while to join me but once he did, it was a silent ride back. The hum of the car had me drowsy and I slept to the amber glow of the street lights.

We reached home in what felt like seconds. I was woken up by Kiel opening my car door, with my satchel slung on his shoulder. He gave me time to bathe, and unpack before joining him in the kitchen. We settled on sharing a glass of red wine as I offloaded details of the stay before reaching the incident that I had chosen to leave behind. There were a few times I had to pause and rephrase my wording because the clump of tears kept rising to my throat to choke out the story. Kiel sat through patiently and listened intently with his face speaking as his expressions changed with the different scenes. I got to the part where I was summarizing what Hugo had told me in comfort, and Kiel was standing in front of me, glass in tight grip with annoyance on his face.

"He told me that it's Jacque's way of caring-"

"Fuck Bibi!" Kiel exclaimed as he slammed his glass on the counter, his drink splattering out of it. He flicked the droplets off his hand as he continued to talk, "I hate it when people use that excuse. If sex doesn't equate love, why is homophobia disguised as care? Call a spade a spade and say it with your chest, that wasn't care! Jacque is just self-centered that it's either his way or no way."

I stared at Kiel, watching him sort through a wave of expressions before his face fell into a knitted brow with hurt on display. He wiped his hand on his shirt and stared at the cup for a bit before sighing and walking to the drawers for a cloth to clean up.

"Look Bibi, it is unfair for me to comment on this situation because I will be biased – not only because you're my friend but because I have been through some things that will always keep my walls up. It's not right in any situation for someone to expose something without the persons' consent or at least gauge if it's harmful information before blabbering to others."

Kiel groaned again and tossed the towel onto the counter before running his hands through his hair. He muttered a few curses to himself and walked over to me, wrapping his arms firmly around me and holding me tightly against him. I reciprocated the energy and closed my eyes, my ear lining with his chest, giving me his steady heartbeat to listen to.

"Sorry, Kiel."

"You don't have to be. I dove off the cliff there. Sorry for stressing you out. It will be ok. I will be with you till the end of it all," he reassured, rubbing my back slowly.

I hummed in agreement and took a deep breath.

"Want to sleep with me tonight?"

"Yeah," I whispered, my chest tightening as I felt a pang of pain wash over me.

A new batch of tears was about to possess me and I think Kiel knew that. A part of me wanted to lock myself away and just waste the time, but a larger part of me wanted to be held and reassured. I was glad Kiel had no issues with the latter.