Lip gloss

Chapter 32

Mary Anne's p.o.v

I wake up in a room illuminated by sounds of beeping machines and lights that could blind any one. I was in a hospital, what's new? I had bandages on my hand and a cold cloth pressed against the back of my head. My eyes were sore from crying, my throat burning from screaming over the past weekend when I was alone.

"She's awake dad." Ricky's voice rings in my head and I roll my eyes, what if their love was artificial as well, what if it was all a game to them too? "Hey sis." He says giving me reassurance that he really does care.

"Hey sweet pea." Dave says and my eyes flicker to him, he's in jeans and an old GAP hoodie, hair a mess, glasses on, lenses dirty.

"Hi," I croak and look down at my wrist where an IV is hooked in, and a clamp on my finger, keeping track of fluids and my heart beat.

"Hello I'm Dr.Shapiro, the doctor introduces walking in with a chart. "How are you feeling mrs... Mary?" He asks and I sit up, my ribs are still sore from the bruises from Friday.

"Mary Anne, and I'm fine." I say, Dave looks shocked, Ricky shares the exact same expression.

"Not according to our chart, you busted a mirror and your head, when you... Did you fall?" He asks and I exhale deeply.

"Yes I fell, passed out actually, and I'm fine." I conclude and he pops his jaw.

"Far be it from me to argue with a patient who punches mirrors." He says making a goofy face, but I don't laugh. "I don't know why you punched the mirror, you do have to pay for it, and I do recommend seeing a counselor or therapist about this whole..situation." He says and I roll my eyes yet again, man I'm getting sassy.

"Yeah, I'll talk to someone. When can I leave?" I ask, aggravated.

"As soon as you talk to our social worker, we saw some things that were surprising and we'd like just a background check, then your free to go, have a good day Mary.. Anne." He almost teases and leaves.

"This is bull." I whisper as the Social worker walks on.

"Hi. I'm Aron, your Mary Anne correct?" He asks and I nod, "mind if I sit down?" He says pointing to my bedside chair and I shrug. "Alright I want you to take a look at something.." He says and pulls a few pages out of a folder, they're pictures, I'm assuming of my body. Then I see the bruises in the pictures, the ones on my rib cage and shoulders and my face loses color. "You don't have to explain, but do you mind telling me what happened?" He asks and I look down at my hands.

"I'm not saying anything." I conclude and he sighs.

"Your father.. Well Foster dad, told me that you have a boyfriend and that you've been very quiet lately, that you haven't come out of your room.. Was it him?" He asks and I repeat my statement again. "Look, everything your telling me is confidential, I wouldn't take a million dollars to repeat what you tell me, you can trust me." He says and I feel the familiar ball in my throat.

"My boyfriend was fighting a boy and.. I stepped in." I partially lie and his hand is placed over my shoulder.

"It's okay, but I know your lying sweetie, you were grabbed and slammed, we can tell." He says and I cringe at the memories.

"He pushes me out of the way, he doesn't know his own strength I guess." I completely lie that time and he nods, sighing.

"Look kid, I'm also a therapist, if you ever need anything at all, call me up and we can talk about it. And just remember one thing?" He asks and I look up as he stands to leave. "Domestic violence is no joke, save yourself please." He says softly, looking hurt for me and I try so hard not to cry but I can't help it and a tear spills over as soon as he leaves.

My dad and Ricky come back in the room with a change of my clothes and I pull them on, looking at my reflection in disgust once again, this time I just turn away from the mirror and walk away.

I was watching a episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Jeffery said, "I hit it, and proceeded to quit it." That made me so mad that I left the living room, and Ricky alone and ran up the stairs. I turned on the shower and stripped of all my clothes. I got into it and in my room five seconds of summer was playing "she looks so perfect" so I started singing it and jumping around, with out a care at all.

Then I made a deal with myself, I'd always done it with my exes and it was time I did it to this one.

.....
Next day
....
I wake up and walk into my bathroom, straitening my hair and applying foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, lip stick, and lip gloss. I put my lip piercing in and pulled on my favorite red dress that had 3/4 length sleeves and it was all lace. I put on my rings and silver bangles, I even painted my nails a shiny black. I put in my knee length black converses and headed downstairs, bandages still covering my knuckles.

When I arrived at school I was turning heads but I didn't care. I had confidence just like every day after I accepted any of my relationships ending. Tracy caught up with me and was talking up a storm about her and Shane, I was so grateful to Shane now, he helped me when no one else could.

Although I wasn't nessesarily listening to her because I felt someone's gaze fresh on us, walking from behind and I think I knew who it was. I could have turned around, I could have yelled at him and said everything that had been on my mind, but I didn't. I was tired of taking the first step to make things okay again, I was tired of being stepped on, I wasn't a boy toy.

That was until I heard the frail raspy voice call out, "Sweet thing?" It was like a blast from the past and almost knocked me over, I turned my head slightly, stopping in my tracks, then I turned my body and I met his eyes. "Here." He said, handing me a piece of paper, and he hugged me, it felt unsure not strong at all, the complete opposite of how is hugs usually are. "I love you." He whispers into my hair and breaks away, walking down the hall, to his locker.

I walked into first period, sat in my new seat and opened the note inside my notebook.

Dear Mary Anne,

I'm sorry for my actions over the weekend. I could try to say I was mad as an excuse but that's know excuse to what I did to you. My heart is shattered and I'm so lost. I'm trying to better my self but every time I try I get no where. I love you so much but I can't do this.
-Mathew Ingles
Wait wait, I'm not finished. I saw you.. I saw you crying in the restroom, I saw you running, I saw everything, your quite the fighter, you punched that mirror like.. Like it was me. Is that what you were visioning? I'm sorry if I made you mad, I'm really sorry I'm just stupid and I don't know why I screw things up so much. I'm so sorry, God I love you so much. But please, just stay away from me. If I ever hurt you again I'd kill my self, not even joking, I do love you though. Goodbye my sweet angel, forever you'll be in my heart. ❤️ Mathew

I read it over and over again, until the period ended, not crying, not angry, well yes, very, very angry, but no sadness, at least.. I don't think. And in the hallway I followed him until he went o his locker which was when I pushed him into it. He spun around, his features softening when his head had to move down to see me.

I slapped him, and then I yelled.

"How could you?!" I say, tears in my voice but none showing. "You can't say you love me and then end it like I'm luggage! I'm not your toy, you can't just use me and decide that you don't want me anymore, especially after saying you love me! Who does that?! You do not say you love me and break up with me. I don't deserve this!" I shout in his face and his expression is shocked and blank.

He touched my shoulder but I jerked it off, "no. Stay away from me. You told me to get out and now I'm telling you." I say and I walk away, not looking back even when I hear him calling for me.

I was done.