DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 14

~Lisa~

Having Jackson over at the same time that Jen was supposed to return was by no means intentional. He had asked to come over and spend some time together, and I might've declined had certain events not taken place the previous week. I needed something to take my mind off of the brunette who continued worming her way into my mind, and I knew Jackson would do just that.

I just hadn't expected him to be over for so long.

I was quickly becoming frustrated with the fact that Jennie was always in my head, even if she hadn't intended to be. She didn't even remember what she had done to me on Thursday night, and even if I didn't plan on ever refreshing her memory, that did not mean I didn't think about it. I hardly thought about anything else.

And it was beginning to really piss me off.

I stood at my door as she came into view, walking next to Hannah as the two conversed about a topic I was unsure of. Despite the fact that I hated how she could easily break my barrier and play with my emotions, I still worried about her constantly. Keeping her out of Charles's grasp didn't prove to be too much of a challenge, although I knew it would be a different story if she decided that she didn't want to listen to me anymore. She certainly had a mind of her own, and I knew that even if I could change her mind about certain things with a little bit of convincing, she was still just as hard-headed as I was. She didn't like to take no for an answer, which bugged me but I couldn't blame her.

Though I knew I was capable of keeping her safe from any physical harm, I had no idea what was going on inside her head. I payed close attention to the way that she forced a smile on her face while Hannah was talking to her, and even if she had told me otherwise, I wondered if she was depressed. What had she really gone through in the past few years? I was dying for her to open up a little bit and talk to me about it, but at the same time, I didn't want her to because I really needed to distance myself.

And the best way to do so was to play teacher and think about something other than the warmth I'd felt on Thursday night when she kissed me.

If I so desperately craved lips to kiss, I had Jackson's, and if I really needed a woman's touch, I doubted it would be all that difficult to find one that was actually legal.

I was thankful that it wasn't Thursday because I didn't need to spend any extra time with her. When the school day ended, I grabbed my bag and immediately headed to the gym. I was ridiculously tense, courtesy of Jen and Ashley, and I needed to release my frustration in a way other than having meaningless sex. I knew Tomas would probably be waiting for me in the back, so I changed out of my school clothes and went to find him.

He was unwrapping tape from around his hands when he turned to look at me. "I was beginning to think you'd never come back."

"You're kidding, right? Who else would be willing to let me beat them up for free?"

He smirked at me, grabbing his focus mitts. "I'm sure if you looked hard enough, you'd find a handful of volunteers."

I grabbed my gloves out of my bag and slipped them on, and Tomas cocked his head at me. "So what are we doing today? Just the mitts or do you wanna try me in the ring?"

"As appealing as that sounds, and as certain as I am that I'd kick your ass, I can't today, remember? You so much as split my lip on accident and I'll have to answer to my boss."

He leaned towards me, smirking his ass off. "Most people do Lisa, that's sort of what the title 'boss' implies."

I hit his shoulder lightly and let my expression loosen up a bit. "You know what I mean. I can't stand in front of a bunch of high school students looking like I just got the shit beat out of me."

He laughed, running a hand through his slick brown hair before slipping on his mitts and turning back to me, getting into position. "Can I look forward to winter break then?"

I smiled a bit in response. "Count on it Tomas."

And then I made contact with his left mitt, forcing him to stumble back a step or two and raise an eyebrow at me. "Jesus Lisa, you dealing with a bit more frustration than usual?"

I pulled my lips into a thin line, nodding my head slightly and punching his right mitt. "Guess you could say that."

He stared at me for a while, before pressing his mitts together and smiling. "Alright, lay it on me."

I did exactly as he said. It felt good to feel the adrenaline pulsing through my veins again, after all, I hadn't had the opportunity to make it to the gym in a while. Whereas to some, working out was a chore, I found it to be one of the most efficient releases. Usually I waited until the end to box with Tomas, but I didn't have the time to hang around and I really needed this.

Even though I wasn't professional, or anything of the sort, the fact that I had boxing experience gave me confidence that I could protect Jen from her adoptive father. I knew she was constantly worried about him hurting me, and even though I knew he was strong and muscular, I was still confident in my ability and I knew that I could take care of both myself and her.

I just needed to figure out how to stop thinking about our kiss.

What was the big deal anyway? It wasn't like it was our first kiss; we had slept together already for god sake. Why was it that now all of the sudden, a matter of seconds with her lips pressed against mine was enough to drive me insane?

Tomas pulled away eventually, tossing me a sly smile. "You're tired."

I was panting slightly by then, and beads of sweat were dripping down my face. I nodded, slipping off my gloves. "Yeah you're right, I was kind of pushing myself."

"I can tell. Something you need to get of your chest?"

I shook my head immediately, thanking him with a brief smile before slinging my bag over my shoulder. "See you around?"

He nodded. "Don't be a stranger. I'm here whenever you need somethin' to hit."

I bid my goodbye and started the car ride home, feeling exhausted but relieved. I made dinner and then some, knowing that I had to have food available for Jennie or else she wouldn't eat. At least, she wouldn't eat very much. She was too skinny for her own good and she didn't seem to want to listen to me when I told her to eat more. I just couldn't understand it; what had happened in her past that didn't allow her to have an appetite now? Or was it what was currently happening that was affecting her? Was the mere thought of Charles hurting her enough to make her constantly lose her appetite?

I sighed, taking a shower and then heading to sit down on the couch. Before I got there, I heard three loud knocks on my front door and my head had never turned so fast. Cautiously, I got up and started towards the door, almost expecting a police officer to be on the other side, prepared to cuff me and put me in the back of a cop car.

But who I saw when I opened the door was arguably worse.

I prepared myself for the man that I had come to hate in such little time to pull out a gun or knife, or just blatantly start to beat the shit out of me, but he never did. Instead, Charles turned and connected his eyes with mine, pulling on his tie and forming a line with his lips.

He tilted his head at me, almost appearing bored. "I'm just going get to get straight to the point; I don't know who you are or why you think it's okay to hide a seventeen year old girl from her parents, but I know Jennie is in there and I'm not leaving until she comes home with me."

I wasn't sure how to respond at first. Thinking back to what Jen had said when we went to her house to pick up her clothes, I realized that Charles wasn't drunk at the moment. He was dressed in business attire and he almost looked like an upstanding member of society, but I knew better. Looks were deceiving, and it didn't matter how well-dressed this sober version of Jen's adoptive father was, I knew what he had done.

And knowing what I did, I couldn't lead him onto the assumption that he was right.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

He eyed me for a while before he spoke. "Charles Carter, the father of the teenage girl you're hiding in your apartment."

"I suppose it's nice to meet you Charles, but I think you've got the wrong apartment. I don't know anyone by that name."

My face remained cool and presented confusion, hopefully so that he would believe he somehow made a mistake and leave. I wasn't sure how he knew where I lived, but it didn't take much effort for me to assume that he had probably followed Jen home from work yesterday or the night before.

I had to start picking her up again.

"Look, I'm kind of in a time crunch and I'm not particularly in the mood to be lied to. I know Jen's not at work, which means she must be here." He narrowed his eyes and placed a hand on the doorframe next to my head, attempting to intimidate me. He had maybe three inches on me, but one thing he clearly wasn't aware of was the fact that I was not easily intimidated. He spoke, "May I come in?"

"No," I answered firmly, grabbing his wrist and dropping it to his side. "And I'd appreciate it if you kept your hands off of my property. Was there anything else you needed from me or are you mainly just here to accuse me of hiding your daughter?"

"Look blondie," he spat, his anger flaring up. "I am not in the mood, nor do I have the time. I watched Jennie enter your apartment yesterday night, so cut the act. Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"That's bullshit. She's inside, isn't she?" He moved to enter my apartment but I pushed him back, completely unafraid. I was sure that he could have knocked me out with one hit, but I wasn't focused on that. I wasn't sure where Jen was if she wasn't at work, probably on her way home, but I knew that I needed to get rid of him as fast as possible.

"You will not step foot in my apartment or I will have you arrested for trespassing and for the other crime you've recently committed. Leave, now, or I'm dialing 911."

His eyes burned into mine, his nostrils flaring as he debated what to do in response. Finally he stepped back, gritting his teeth. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

This time I stepped forward, because now my anger was building. "Yes you do, you slimy piece of shit. Don't make me say it again; get the hell out of my building and don't come back."

He stepped back, narrowing his eyes as he clenched his fists. "I hope you realize that I don't give things up very easily. Cate made me adopt Jennie, but now she's my daughter and she will be coming home with me, whether you like it or not. I'll be back; hopefully by then you'll realize that she's not worth the trouble."

I gritted my teeth, pointing down the stairwell. "Leave."

And he did, but not before shooting me another annoyed glance. I re-entered my apartment, trying to keep my mind off of the last thing that he said. I convinced myself that I would never be stupid enough to let Charles take Jennie home, regardless of what she might've been able to do to alter my feelings for her, in either a good or bad way.

There was nothing she could do to get rid of my need to keep her safe.

I sat down on the couch and tried to run through everything that had just happened in my mind. For someone who clearly didn't care very much about Jen's well-being, Charles seemed to care way too much about where she was living. Why did it concern him anyway? Was it just because he didn't have someone around to take his anger out on?

The thought sickened me, and I grimaced. After sitting in silence for a while longer, my front door opened and Jen walked in, throwing her bag on the ground and heading toward the kitchen. I didn't have to look in her direction twice to feel the waves of anger radiating out of her, and I immediately stood up. Had she run into Charles? Had he hurt her?

"What's wrong?"


She turned to me, clearly trying to shake away the anger but having trouble. "Nothing," she said, gritting her teeth. "I'm just having a bad day."

"Why?"

"It's none of your fucking business," she muttered, turning away from me. I stopped in my tracks, my eyes widening slightly. If she'd run into Charles, what could he have said to make her so angry? I didn't think I had ever seen her like this. Probably the only time I had ever seen her come close was when Richard had pissed her off in my class.

"Is it Charles?"

She turned to me, narrowing her eyes. "What? No. I haven't even spoken to that piece of shit in two weeks. I'm just having a bad day, alright?"

I lingered by the couch, watching her as she decided against eating and instead picked up her bag, heading toward the bedroom. "I'm going to bed."

"You need to eat-"

"Don't," she spat, and I realized I probably should have just let her continue walking. "tell me what to do. Look Lisa, I'm pissed off right now and I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry for yelling, but I'm not in the mood to get another lecture from you about my improper eating habits."

I was dying to know what had set her off, but before I had the chance to ask, she disappeared into my bedroom. I figured I might try again when she cooled off, or I'd just let it be. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I was sure of one thing. I didn't like keeping secrets, and I already had enough of my own to keep, but I couldn't tell her that Charles had shown up at my door. She would start to worry about putting me in danger, because that's what she did, and chances are if she knew that Charles knew where I lived, it would really set her off. She would undoubtedly go home with him, and I couldn't let that happen.

So I neglected to mention it to her, and I hoped doing so wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass.

But nothing ever seemed to work out in my favor.

***

Jen was quiet in the morning and hardly payed attention in my class the next day. Something had clearly gotten to her yesterday, and I couldn't think of anything or anyone other than Charles that could do so that easily. I tried to go about my normal afternoon but I couldn't think about much else, and when she got home from work, she was still relatively silent. She ate and slipped into my bedroom almost immediately, and I didn't think I was going to be able to get anything out of her, until midnight rolled around and I woke up to a hushed noise coming from my living room.
Jen wasn't in my bed anymore and I got up, sleepily making my way into the other room.

She was sitting on the couch, staring at the tv with her arms folded over her chest. She was only wearing a tank top and only about a third of her chest was actually covered by the fabric, making it impossible for me to draw my eyes away.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not polite to stare.." she barely muttered, not making any attempt at pulling her shirt up. I suppose she was more or less confident in that aspect.

I wasn't sure how to respond; she had caught me a little off guard. Weren't those the first words I'd ever spoken to her? I sat down on the couch, staring at the television instead of her. "Sure she did, doesn't mean I listened."

She turned to look at me briefly, before sighing and unzipping her bag that was underneath the side table. She came back up with a thin white sweatshirt, pulling it over her head so that her torso was covered. I spoke softly, "You didn't need to do that, you know."

Although it was probably for the best.

"I was feeling a little exposed. What are you doing up, Lisa?" I could hear the exhaustion in her voice and even though I was internally begging myself to either stay on my side of the couch or leave the room all together, I found myself unintentionally moving over towards her.

"What are you doing up?"

She didn't bother coming up with some stupid remark in response. "I couldn't sleep."

"Something on your mind?"

She let out something that sounded like a laugh, but it didn't hold any humor. "There always is."

"Jen..." I trailed off, shaking my head. How was I supposed to ask her about last night without making her upset? What was going on with her? She looked at me expectantly, knowing that I wanted to ask her what was wrong but she also wanted to wait and torture me. "I know you don't like talking... but I'm starting to worry. What happened last night?"

She shook her head. "It was just... a customer, at the grocery store. He said something really ignorant that... got to me, I guess. I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday."

"It's alright," I answered, turning my body slightly to face hers. "What'd he say?"

"I don't even remember anymore, but it was stupid and my patience was already running thin. Charles has been non-stop texting me and I can't stand it." She laughed a bit, and I found myself wishing the sound was filled with happiness. "You know, I guess I do get angry a lot more often than I let on."

"For good reason, though, I'm sure. I get it Jen, people are ignorant."

She turned to face me, searching my eyes for a long time before nodding. "Yeah..."

"So..." I began again, after a while in silence. "I don't mean to.. push my luck with you, but... can I ask you a question?"

"You know what?" she said, biting her lip. "Why not? What do you want to know about me? How I got so god damn lucky? You know, that's a rather long story-"

"Jen," I stopped her, shaking my head. "I don't need to know your life story. I mean, I'll listen, if you want me to. But I know what wanting privacy is like and I hate pushing for information just as much as you hate being pushed for information."

There was something in her expression that I hadn't seen before, but I couldn't place it. Maybe a mix of curiosity and... admiration? Thankfulness? Her stare caused me to look away, though at the same time prompting me to speak.

"Can you tell me why you are the way that you are about eating?"

She shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to tell you Lisa, I just don't eat a lot. There isn't much to it."

"I'm sure there's at least one reason, yeah?"

She sighed, folding her arms over her chest and looking away. "I changed my mind. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I slid over to the cushion next to her, trying to restrain myself but failing miserably. I placed my right hand on her knee, feeling that same warmth that I'd felt on Thursday but trying to force the feeling away. "Jen," I said softly. "Please, I'm not asking for everything, just... give me something. I need to know what you've been through.."

She stared at my hand, but I didn't remove it. I didn't want to. I heard Ashley's nagging voice in my head but I tried to push it away, which only left space for my own moral conscience to start bugging me. She spoke softly, "Why does it matter to you so much?"

"Because Jen, you keep it all locked up inside of you. Everything you've ever dealt with, which I can assume is a lot, you force inside and you think you can't tell anyone because of Charles but that's not true. I just want to help, Jen. Getting a few things off your chest won't hurt you, I promise you, it'll do more good than bad."

I should have probably used my own advice once in a while.

But I didn't believe myself enough to do so.

She shook her head, "I'm a big girl Lisa, I can deal with this myself."

I sighed, taking my hand off of her leg and placing my arms on my thighs, turning to lean forward. "I know you can, Jen, but you don't have to."

"Yes I do-"

"No you don't. You can trust me. I can understand how talking about a rough past could be hard, but you'll also feel better afterwards. Don't you want to know what that's like?"

"I already know what that's like," she snapped, turning to me. "But that person isn't with me anymore, and I'm not ready to let anyone else in only to lose them again. Lisa, look at me and be honest. After the school year ends and I find my own place, what is the likelihood of you and I ever seeing each other again?"

I tried to speak, but I wasn't even sure of the answer myself. She was right; I was trying to get her to open up but she should have been doing so with someone that would be around her for the rest of her life.

The chances of that person being me were slim to none.

She spoke up after a while of silence. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm not going to throw all of my problems on you only to leave six months later and never see you again. Lisa, I'll tell you again, I'm fucked up to certain levels that you couldn't even begin to comprehend and talking to you about it isn't going to change anything."

I sighed. "I... am too Jen. Believe me, it wouldn't be all that hard for me to understand."

"Don't kid yourself, you may be hard-headed and a bit of a bitch at times, but you can't say that. You're a normal person with a tough exterior, that's it Lisa."

I looked down, thinking about my life and shaking my head. "You're wrong, but.. it's okay. We don't have to get into that. Look you're right, you shouldn't have to confide in someone only to have them ripped away from you. But Jen, unless for some reason I'm sent to prison or deported out of the country, which isn't going to happen, I'm not going anywhere. Can't you trust that?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I know how to trust anymore."

"Can you try?"

She looked at me, and for a while she didn't speak. But then she turned so that her back was against the arm rest and she pulled her knees into her chest, staring straight ahead into my eyes. "I wouldn't even know where to start."

I shook my head at her. "Just talk to me. About... whatever. I imagine you've been through... quite a bit. And I don't want to make you dwell on your entire life experience, so just... talk, if you want."

She formed a small smile at the corner of her lips, looking down. "Well, I suppose I'll address your question and call it a day then."

I nodded and waited for her to speak, before she finally did. "Before I was adopted.. I barely ate. It wasn't bad for everyone, just.. a few. They fed us in the group homes... but there was only one adult among about twelve, in this case, delinquent teenagers." She zoned out, not even looking at me anymore. "She couldn't control them all.. they did what they wanted. The home didn't have that much money, just enough for the bare necessities. So when the older girls wanted more food, and they weren't provided it, they came to me. I was a five foot two, underweight twig that could barely lift her own arm. They could take my food and get away with it."

I didn't know what to think about what she was telling me. It was horrible, these group homes that kids were placed in. They were supposed to be safe. Why was the system so damn corrupt?

"So, you don't eat now because you didn't have enough food back then?"

She shook her head. "It's not like that, it's just, I can only force myself to eat so much. So many people struggle with obesity that not many people know what it's like to be on the other side of the spectrum. Plus, I don't have an appetite ninety percent of the time because Charles's fucking image fills my head and it makes me sick. I eat enough Lisa, trust me, just not enough for me to gain weight."

I nodded, trying to take in all this information and process it. "Okay, well try and take a bit of solace in the fact that Charles isn't going to lay another hand on you. And I know you doubt that, but have a little faith, okay?"

"Yeah I'll try," she muttered, sinking into the couch. "You should probably go to bed, you're going to be tired in the morning."

I shook my head. "What about you?"

She shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"Is that something else we should have a talk about?"

"No," she said, standing up. "Not tonight. I think we can maybe hold off on the heavy talks for a while. But you know what? I guess.. it did feel okay to talk about it."

I stood up too and before I knew what was happening, I felt Jen's arms around me and I froze. She breathed heavily on my neck, whispering, "Thank you."

I reluctantly wrapped my own arms around her body, finding myself overwhelmed by her natural scent. The embrace was long, longer than I'd probably hugged anyone in my entire life. Finally she pulled away, and I couldn't believe the fact that I actually felt.... disappointed.

If sleeping with Jackson wasn't enough to get rid of whatever the hell was making me feel this way, I didn't know what would.

I was an expert at pushing away my feelings. I was generally hard to get to from birth, but now I was especially good at stopping myself from developing attachments to people.

What was different now?

And how the hell was I going to last six more months?