DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 3

I got a text from Jisoo that afternoon telling me that her uncle would be more than willing to give me a job, in fact, he was under-staffed as it was. It wasn't guaranteed that my hours would be consistent but it was a job, and I had enough sense to take it. It was the first step in getting out of Charles house. Dave, Jisoo's uncle, interviewed me and sent me on my way that night, oblivious to the fact that I'd be walking home alone so late at night. I'd been on the streets before, in fact I had run away from my third foster home for a few days since it had been so bad, so I figured I would be able to handle an hour walk back home in the dark.

For once, when I returned home after my interview, I found that Charles was actually sober. I didn't know how to feel because he could be such a decent human being when there wasn't alcohol coursing through his veins. Cate didn't get home from work until late on Mondays, but Charles made me dinner and I tried to force myself to be okay around him. I knew it was only a matter of time before he started to drink, and then no matter what I did, I knew I'd be in trouble. I hated him for what he did to me every time he drank, but I knew ignoring him while he was sober would only make the beatings worse when he finally did consume alcohol, which was inevitable.

When I woke up the next day, Charles wasn't home. I readied myself and found Cate in the kitchen, and though our relationship was strained, I still preferred seeing her over Charles. This was the first time I had seen her since that morning in the hotel, and I was still sour about her leaving me to fend for myself.

"Thanks for ditching me last weekend." I couldn't hold the sarcasm in if I tried as I pulled my bag over my shoulder, shuffling past her to pull a bottle of water out of the fridge.

Her eyes lowered, and though I know she felt bad, she still didn't even try to stop him. I understood her, and I couldn't really blame her for taking the opportunity to run, but then again, I could and I did. "Jen... I'm sorry... did he.. did he hurt you?"

I simply raised my eyebrows. "Did he hurt me? What the hell do you think Cate?"

She sagged her shoulders and I almost felt bad for yelling at her, but I couldn't. She was fragile and she had that sense of innocence that couldn't be broken no matter what anyone did, even if she'd gotten re-married to an alcoholic. "Jen.. you know I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop him without telling your social worker, and I know you don't want me to do that.."

"Yeah well, you didn't have to adopt me in the first place."

I knew she didn't deserve to be yelled at, because it wasn't her fault that Charles hurt me, but it was kind of her fault that I was exposed to him at all.

She seemed at a loss for words, but then she shook her head. "I didn't know that he would start drinking again, Jen..."

Charles and Cate met years ago at an AA meeting, and though she was going on her third year sober, Charles certainly wasn't as intent on staying sober like she was. Ironically, the meeting they'd met at was Cate's first meeting and Charles last, but he helped her through her financial issues and eventually she just moved in with him.

And then she convinced him to adopt me.

I just shook my head in response, sighing and running a hand through my hair. "I have to go."

"Let me drive you," she insisted, immediately grabbing her keys. I wasn't going to deny a ride to school, so I simply nodded and got into her car. I didn't mind suffering through first period and I genuinely enjoyed second period, my art class, but as I walked toward third period, I found myself growing anxious. I took a closer look at my schedule to find that the woman I'd slept with that night at the hotel actually had a name. Her last name was Manoban. I regretted not asking her for her first name that night, but I couldn't go back and change it even if I wanted to.

And honestly, even if our situation was extremely awkward and she scared the hell out of me, I probably wouldn't have changed anything about that night even if I could. She helped me to forget about Charles, and something told me that she'd done a much better job than any other woman that I could've found in that bar would have.

I entered her classroom and saw her sitting at her desk this time, her eyes immediately flickering up to meet mine. I could feel myself momentarily freeze but then I forced myself to keep walking, and thankfully I made it to my desk. I didn't know how to make our situation better, and I knew she was pissed off at me because I lied to her. Now not only could she get in trouble for sleeping with a student, but if anyone ever found out, the penalty would probably be so much worse because I was a minor.

I probably should've apologized.

Yet even though my mind was screaming at myself internally to say sorry, I couldn't force myself to speak to her. The class passed dreadfully slow, and Jisoo and I made brief conversation about her uncle Dave before the bell finally rang and the other seniors raced out the door. I was about to follow Jisoo towards the cafeteria, but I heard my name being called out and my body actually cringed at the sound of her voice.

"Jennie," she said, her voice ice-cold. Jisoo tossed me a sympathetic smile, though she couldn't possibly know what I was going through. I hesitantly turned around, letting the door slowly close behind me.

She scribbled something down on a piece of paper before returning her hardened gaze to me. "You have a fake license."

It wasn't a question, and she didn't even give me the opportunity to answer before speaking up again.

"I can't let you keep it."

My eyes immediately snapped back to hers, and I tightened my jaw, clenching my fists. I knew technically she had the right to try and take it away from me because she was a teacher and she needed to do her job, but she had no idea what I was going through at home. I couldn't suffer through Charles abuse without this ID. When I didn't have alcohol to drown out the pain, I would start seeing images of him beating me repeatedly and I would cry myself to sleep. It was what happened for the first few months after my adoption, before I realized that there was something out there to numb the pain.

I didn't want to go back to that.

"Look I get that you're mad and upset about what happened, but you can't take it away.. you have no idea what I go through without it.."

I knew it was dangerous to lead her on to the assumption that something worse than just a little bit of fun was occurring in my life, but I couldn't control myself. She couldn't do this. I didn't want to feel crazy.

I didn't want to live with Charles.

But I knew that the nightmares would be much worse if I was being moved around multiple different foster homes or worse, if I was placed in my old group home, so I couldn't leave the 'safety' of Charles house.

Her guarded brown eyes stared up into my brown ones, and I wanted to look away but I couldn't. She appeared to be trying to figure me out, which would never work, because I was messed up on so many different levels that she would never have the pleasure of finding out.

"You're right, I am upset about what happened. In fact, I'm more than upset. I'm more pissed off than I've ever been at anyone in my entire life, but that's not why I'm doing this. You're damaging yourself by drinking before you've fully grown, and as your teacher, I can't let that continue."

I shook my head at her. "You're right, you are my teacher, not my mother. You can't force me to give it to you, Ms. Manoban."

She formed a straight line with her lips, but I watched as a flare of anger passed through her eyes. She stood up, sending her chair rolling back behind her as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You may be right about that, but I can take this to the principal and get you in even more trouble than you'd be in with me. It's not that hard, Jennie, it's just beer. Just give me the damn ID."

It was just beer to her. "I can't."

"What are you, an alcoholic at seventeen?"

The way she spoke made me want to deck her right there and then. She reminded me of all the spoiled kids in the countless schools I'd been to, who wouldn't know what a real struggle was if it slapped them across the face. Needless to say, her question struck a nerve. "Because that's so uncommon? I'm not an alcoholic, I'm no where near it, but I need this ID for reasons you can't even begin to comprehend."

The blonde lowered her eyes and stepped forward, past her desk so that she was hovering above me. I wasn't short, but she may have had a few inches on me. "You really should be careful about how you speak to me Jennie." She sighed then, losing the attitude briefly to ask me a question. "Care to share those reasons?"

I thought about what telling her about my home life would do, and then I simply shook my head. "I can't."

She stepped back, her hand already finding the handle. "Then I have no choice but to go to the principal."

I started to panic, and before she could get out the door, my hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her back toward me. My hand was burning and her eyes penetrated through my guard as she slowly stepped toward me, simply raising her eyebrow. I felt my throat closing but I forced myself to beg, my anger slowly beginning to disappear as I replaced it with soft eyes. "Please Ms. Manoban, I can't explain to you how bad it would be for you to take this to the principal... you have to trust me.."

She pulled her wrist out of my grasp, her eyebrows tilting inwards as she shook her head. "Trust you? You want me to trust you?"

I realized after lying to her about my age, that probably wasn't the best thing to say and I couldn't force myself to respond. But for some reason, instead of making her way out the door to the principal's office, she sighed and moved over to stand by her desk.

"Jennie-"

"Please," I interrupted her, my voice pleading and desperate. She looked back at me, her hardened expression breaking as she could see the desperation in my eyes and hear it in my voice.

She just shook her head, obviously conflicted. "I need to think about it."

When she sat back down and didn't raise her voice to say another word, I disappeared out the door to the cafeteria, where I knew I couldn't even be alone.

***

Lunch passed slowly but I tried to appear happy because I needed Jisoo to like me. If she didn't, she might tell her uncle to take away my job. I doubted that would happen, but I couldn't take any chances because I didn't think I would be able to get another job that was close enough to my house to walk.

The minute I stepped into fifth period, my calculus teacher looked over at me, putting the phone back in its cradle. He put a small frown on his face, and the second he spoke I immediately felt my heart sinking. "Jen, they want you in the office."

I instantly knew that Ms. Manoban decided to fucking take this to the principal, and I couldn't not be pissed off. I got that she had to do her job, but this would make my nights absolutely sleepless and I guaranteed that it would be worse for my health and my safety than for the better.

I slowly trudged down to the office, and when I forced myself to enter, I saw Principal Yang standing there with his hands on his hips and my biology teacher standing next to him. When her eyes connected with mine, I saw a sliver of regret pass, before they hardened and she held her chin high. I wanted desperately to walk right up to her and knock her off her damn high horse because she just caused me a load of misery that I honestly could do without. I had enough to deal with.

"Jen, sit down please," Principal Yang said, gesturing to the seat across from him as he lowered himself into his own. Ms. Manoban stood next to him, arms folded across her chest without a hint of remorse.

"Why am I here?"

He lowered his eyes at me. "I think you know why you're here. Ms. Manoban informed me that you've taken it upon yourself to make a fake ID? Do you understand that that is illegal, Jennie, and you could go to juvy for doing that?"

"Well if we're being completely honest, I didn't make the ID," I spit back, leaning back in my seat. I despised the woman in front of me at that very moment in time, and she saw the look of sheer anger on my face when she turned to look at me.

This got his attention. "Oh? And would you like to tell us who did?"

I shrugged, lying. I was never one to throw others under the bus. "Honestly, I don't remember his name and even if I did I wouldn't tell you."

Principal Yang lifted himself up in his seat, furrowing his eyebrows. "Jennie, this is serious. You can go to jail for making a fake ID, do you understand that?"

"I told you I didn't make it."

I really needed to shut my loud ass mouth, because I was only digging myself deeper and deeper into the hole. Though I obviously didn't want jail on my permanent record, I had been to juvy for a few days when they couldn't find a foster home or group home to put me in, and then again for a longer amount of time when I'd gotten caught stealing food because my foster parents weren't feeding me. I had to admit, it was a lot worse than I had expected. Remembering my experience, I decided to stop with the sarcasm and start digging myself out.

"Jennie."

"I'm sorry," I finally said, looking at him but not once looking at Ms. Manoban. "Look it was a one time thing, okay? I know it was stupid."

He sighed, but it seemed to be the answer he was looking for. "Look, Ms. Manoban here told me that you came to talk to her about this, and told her in confidentiality, which means that we would be illegally breaking multiple staff agreements by getting the police involved. Jennie, jail is something that you can never get away from, even when you're out, and we understand that you're young and you made a mistake."

This caught me by surprise, because that meant that Ms. Manoban actually lied to the principal for my sake. She looked up then and we made eye contact, and though I was still angry, I knew that she could see it had disintegrated a little bit. She'd put her job in danger a second time to keep me out of trouble, even if she did still tell the principal.

She spoke up then, her eyes meeting mine again. "That being said, you need to hand over the ID and you'll have a three day suspension, followed by detention every Thursday after school for a few months."

There were so many things that bothered me about her words. I'd have to give them my ID, which made me nervous because that meant I'd have to deal with the mess Charles usually left me in without alcohol. She also said I'd have a three-day suspension, which I would not be able to tolerate. I couldn't be home with Charles for more time than I had to, and for that reason, I had to fight it.

"Please, please don't give me suspension. I.. I can't be at home.."
She furrowed her eyebrows and this also got the attention of Principal Yang. "Why not?"

I just shook my head, trying to form multiple excuses in my mind. "Uh.. I just, I'd rather have an in-school suspension. Can we do that?"

"You are in no position to negotiate Jennie," he said, and I nodded but looked at him with pleading eyes and he nodded.

"Fine, in-school suspension for three days and you'll be spending your Thursday afternoons with Ms. Manoban."

I wanted to protest because I knew I had to work after school, but I'd already gotten away with a lot and I didn't want to push my limits. So I nodded, standing up. "Thank you, Principal Yang."

He looked over to the woman standing on his right. "And?"

I formed a tight line with my lips, gritting my teeth as I looked over at her. "And... uh.. thank you, Ms. Manoban."

She could sense the hostility in my voice, but she nodded anyway and though I really didn't like her, I still had to be thankful that she'd lied to the principal to help me out. I started to wonder, if she was going to lie, why wouldn't she just hold back from telling him at all?

I got up to go but the principal's voice stopped me. "Forgetting something, Jennie?"

I sighed, reaching into my bag for the ID. I handed it to him, having a hard time loosening my grip but finally letting go after a few seconds. I headed out the door, turning to look at Ms. Manoban one final time. Principal Yang's voice stopped me again, and his words made my blood run cold.

"Oh, and we called home to let your parents know of the circumstances. I'm sorry Jennie, but they deserve to know about the trouble you've gotten yourself into."

I scoffed and I think he could tell, but he didn't mention it. My parents? Did he mean the abusive alcoholic that liked to call himself my father and the coward that lived with him? "Who picked up?"

He lowered his eyes at me. "I really don't think it matters..."

"Who picked up?" I said again, my voice more hostile this time.

He just sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Your dad, I believe."

I suddenly wondered if the school had record of my past. I mean they had to, right? It certainly didn't seem like Principal Yang was going to acknowledge it, and I doubted that Ms. Manoban knew either way, but now I was both curious and worried. Not to mention, if Charles went out drinking tonight, I knew I'd be in for it really bad when I got home.

I just pulled my lips into a tight line. "Thanks."

Then I walked out the door and went straight to seventh period, my last two classes passing inanely slow. I was not in the mood to start work today, but I knew I made a commitment when I left the grocery store after my interview. When the last bell rang, I rushed out of the school and started my long walk toward Dave's store.

When I got there, I put on tan skinny jeans and a red shirt that I'd been informed to wear, and I walked out of the restroom to find Dave. The store was actually quite large and it took a while, but I found him in the back sorting through new shipments.

"Dave," I said, raising my voice to get his attention.

"Jen! So glad you showed up, I'm so behind on re-stocking and I really need your help. Grab a box and get started."

I nodded and grabbed a box, piling a few others on top before walking back out into the store. I found the food section and walked down the many aisles, trying to find the right places for everything. Hours had passed before long, and I was on the last batch of boxes. There were five piled in my arms because I didn't want to make another trip, and as I walked back out into the food section and tried to put one of the boxes down, they all fell and the seal on a few of them came undone, spilling oranges and apples everywhere.

I heard a voice behind me, coming from where I'd dropped the boxes. "That looked like it hurt, do you need any help?"

I recognized the voice from my night in the hotel and earlier in the principal's office, and my body froze. I tightened my fists and slowly turned around. This woman was everywhere.

"Damnit..." I said slowly, and her eyes took me in as I began to pick up the oranges. She looked shocked to see that it was me, but she hesitated briefly before squatting down to help me.

"It's fine, I've got it." I was still beyond pissed off from today, even if she'd lied for me, and I knew she could sense the hostility evident in my voice. She just shook her head and refused to leave, grabbing oranges and apples and tossing them in the box, before standing up to pick up the remaining boxes. I picked up the one with the fruit and set it on the cart, taking the others from her hands.

"Thanks.. I guess."

She scratched the back of her head, standing back awkwardly as she leaned against her cart. "Jennie.. listen-"

"I don't want to talk, Ms. Manoban. I have a lot of work to do."

I turned to go but I felt her presence behind me, grabbing my wrist and turning me around. I froze but let my body turn as her eyes looked at me apologetically. Jesus this woman was all over the place. She could go from playful, to angry, to ice-queen, to sorrowful in a matter of seconds.

"Look, Jennie, I know you don't like me very much which is ironic because you seemed to like me a lot a few nights ago-"

I was surprised that she was bringing up our night together, but it was always in the back of my mind anyway. How could I possibly forget the night I'd had with her? She'd been a completely different person. "You weren't a stone-cold bitch a few nights ago," I retorted, which I knew was a little excessive but I was mad and I had trouble controlling myself when I got angry.

She stood back, her arms crossing over her chest. "Yeah and you weren't a seventeen-year-old with a fake ID a few nights ago either. Look I'm not sorry for telling the principal, but I would've been sorry for sending you to jail because that's excessive for one night in a bar.. which is why.. I lied.."
I crossed my arms over my chest as well, leaning against one of the shelves. "Do you normally lie to your boss?"

She just stared at me for a while before answering hesitantly. "No, in fact I've never lied to any of my employers before, so consider yourself special."

I quirked an eyebrow, standing back and grabbing a box with occupants that I saw belonged in the aisle we were in. As I began re-stocking, I couldn't help but to respond. "Not even on your resume?"

She leaned on her cart, and I was surprised she hadn't left already. "Not even on my resume."

"How did you expect to get a job without lying on your resume?" I joked, and I could see a hint of a smile on her lips but she seemed to force it away.

"I got this one just fine."

"Did you ever think that might be because Principal Yang has a huge, blatantly obvious crush on you?"

She scoffed quickly, pushing the thought away and I just shrugged. "He does not. Look Jennie, I'm not here to chit-chat. I just want to say that I hope you stay away from alcohol now that you don't have an ID. It can really damage your nerves if you drink it often before you're fully grown, and I'd hate to see that happen to you. It's why I brought it to the principal, because it was clear you weren't going to give it up unless I did."

I stayed quiet for a minute, but when she turned to go, I spoke up. "Thanks for lying to keep me out of trouble."

She shrugged, her brown eyes catching mine as she offered me a slight smirk. "Yeah, well, it's a one time thing so don't get used to it."

With that, she disappeared into another aisle and I tried to return to my work, but I found it growing difficult with her image in my head. I saw Dave emerge from the end of the aisle as I put the last food item on the shelve, throwing its box in the cart.

"You work fast Jennie,  I'm glad I hired you."

I offered him a small smile and he grabbed the cart of boxes, steering it away from me. "You're good to go for tonight, but I expect you back here same time tomorrow ready to work. Tell Jisoo I said hi?"

I nodded and walked toward the exit of the grocery store, seeing Ms. Manoban waiting in line at check-out. We briefly made eye contact but I looked away quickly, making my way to the parking lot. The walk home was long and when I finally opened the door, I really just wanted to pass out on the couch but I realized that I was in deep shit. I saw Charles car home and I took a deep breath before entering the kitchen. I didn't see him but as I was fixing myself a very late dinner, I saw a car pull up outside the window and Charles got out, stumbling before making his way to our door.

I tried to make my way out of the kitchen before he could see me, but the minute he stepped in the house he made eye contact with me, and his lopsided grin turned into a scowl. I realized that he was ridiculously drunk and I know he'd gotten a call that I got into trouble, which could only lead to one thing.

"S-seriously Jennie?" he said immediately, stumbling toward me. "I g..get a call on the s..second day of school s..saying that you made a fake ID?" I could tell how drunk he was based on the way he was walking and the slur in his speech, so I tried to run but he grabbed my wrist and whipped me back around.

"It was from a long time ago.." I whisper, my complete demeanor shifting. I couldn't lie, Charles scared the shit out of me most of the time and this time I wouldn't have alcohol to cope with if he hurt me. "It was a one-time thing Charles.."

He shook his head. "That is unas..unacet...unacceptable!"

Damn, I'd never seen him so drunk that he couldn't even talk. It seemed as though his addiction to alcohol got worse and worse every day. So much for staying sober.

He stumbled toward me, grabbing me by the wrists and pushing me back. "Charles please... not tonight..."

I knew Cate was in the other room, and I highly doubted that she couldn't hear me pleading with him, but it didn't matter because she wasn't going to help me. He spit back, and the stench of alcohol on his breath was repulsive. "Please not tonight what? You cannot do these things and get away with it!You're a piece of s...shit and I don't know why S..Cate wanted to adopt you."

I hated him when he was drunk, I despised him, and I wanted to fight back but I couldn't break out of his hold. He pushed me over the couch and I landed on my back, groaning as he hovered over me. "Discipline.." he growled. "Discipline is what you need.."

I already saw where that was headed, and though he'd never laid a hand on me in a sexual way, it seemed to be gradually approaching that point. Cate had stopped giving him what he wanted and so now I guess he was turning to me to fulfill his needs. "Charles.. please..."

There was a weird sparkle in his eye, like he enjoyed this a little too much. "Begging is not going to work out in your favor, Jen, in fact I hate it when you beg."

He pulled me up from the ground, forcefully pushing me against the wall as his hands fumbled with his pants for the second time. I don't know what was changing now, because he hadn't even tried to use me for a release in the entire year that I'd lived with him. The only logical explanation that I could form in my head was that it was Cate's fault. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to have sex with a lunatic, but to pass it on to me? I was seventeen. What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? What did I ever do to deserve ten years of foster care, the loss of my parents, and to get placed with Charles?

I tried to push him off but it was no used as he pushed his knee against my stomach so that I could barely breath, finally pulling the belt on his pants off. He fumbled with the zipper before digging his fingernails into my skin, pulling on the waistband of my jeans. I whimpered, leaning against the wall.
"C-Charles.. p-please... s-stop.." I was stuttering so bad at that point, because I was terrified that he was actually going to do it.

His anger flared up again, which seemed to be the worst problem that arose when he drank. He couldn't control his anger issues, and I should've known that the word stop was a trigger. He pulled back and I couldn't even comprehend what was happening before his fist was flying toward me and he connected with the bone just above my eye.

Pain was shooting through every muscle in my body as I trembled against the wall, and I knew this had to stop. I could feel my body giving up and I didn't think I could handle it if Charles decided to go any further. My eyes started to close but he shoved me against the wall, forcing them open.

"Why can't you just behave like a normal teenage girl, Jennie?"

I couldn't open my mouth, and instead I released a muffled whimper. I suddenly felt his hands release me and I fell to the ground, my eyes opening just wide enough to see Cate's trembling hands on his waist. She saw his belt on the floor and she looked over at me in horror, before Charles focused his attention on her.

"The f..fuck?" Cate had never intervened when he was having one of his episodes, and I didn't know what was changing now. Maybe his taking it a step further was the push Cate needed to jump in and try to stop him.

"C'mon Charles.. please, she's had enough. She's never going to do it again, okay? Let's go to the bedroom?"

He seemed to think about it but then he put his rough hands on Cate's ass, pulling her back toward the bedroom as he started to kiss her. I knew she was doing it for my sake and I silently thanked her, feeling my eyes start to close.

All I could feel was pain all over, but for some reason my mind drifted off to the night Ms. Manoban and I had together. Maybe it was because I was reminded of what Charles had done that night that made me think of her, but once she wormed her way into my mind, I couldn't force her out. I remembered the way she smelled, and I remembered the soft touch of her hands as she explored my body that night. I hadn't had any visible bruises because it had been a while since Charles had touched me and the bruises from that night hadn't formed yet.

But as I fell asleep in a crumpled heap on the floor that night and the bruises started appearing on my body, I found myself craving her touch to make it all slip away.