DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 24

~Lisa~

I hadn't expected letting her in to feel the way that it did. I expected the feeling that I had gotten during those first five or so minutes where all I could picture was the accident: the smoke, the shattered glass, my screams when I looked at the body of a woman that had once been so full of life.

But after those first five minutes, I felt free. It was almost as if I'd had a two-hundred pound weight tied to my foot ever since my mom passed, and Jen had reached down and made it disappear in a matter of minutes. It hadn't felt like that when I'd spoken to Ashley. It had felt like absolute hell, and I had never wanted to relive that.

With Jen, I didn't have to. Simply her presence had made those fives minutes just that: five minutes. The rest of my night, that of which I was awake for anyway, was pleasant. Somehow I'd managed to forget why I had opened up to her in the first place; Charles had completely escaped my mind. And when I woke up with my arms wrapped around her, I smiled.

It was only when I realized that my arms weren't wrapped around her that my smile faded. It was the faint smell of her that she'd left behind that fooled me. But then I realized that if she had been next to me, the scent would have been stronger. My vanilla scented body wash, her perfume.

It was so faint that I could hardly tell it was there.

I opened my eyes and tried not to worry just yet. She was in the kitchen, I told myself. She was with Ark. She hadn't left.

But I knew I was hopelessly mistaken when I looked over and saw that her duffle bag and shoes were gone.

I forced myself to stay calm as I slid out of bed. I didn't want to leave my bedroom because I knew that the moment I stepped into the other room and Jen wasn't there, it would become real. It would mean that she had really left and was at home with Charles. It would mean that all my efforts to keep her safe for the past two months would be for nothing. It would mean that I had failed to protect her because I knew if she was home, it was inevitable that Charles would drink and hurt her.

The first thing I saw when I exited my bedroom was Ark and I tried not to let my heart fall. Had Jen even thought about how leaving would affect her? How leaving would affect me? It was one thing to leave for her social worker, but I knew she wasn't coming back. I knew, and it tore my heart in half.

The kitchen was empty. The only thing that struck me as even slightly out of place was the small piece of paper in the middle of the counter. It hadn't been there last night, which meant Jen had put it there before she left. I wanted to look at it, but I almost didn't care what she had to say to me anymore.

I sat down on the stool anyway, reading the two words she'd scribbled across the middle of the paper.

Thank you

Reading those two words, I realized that I was not only worried and upset, but I was angry. It didn't matter to me why she left. She left. That was a fact. It was a fact that I had to come to terms with, but I wasn't sure I could. I needed her to be safe. I didn't know what I would do if she came into school on Monday with sunglasses or the limp she had had a while ago that she tried to cover up.

Ark's soft voice made me look up. "Aunt Lisa?"

I tried to compose myself as she walked towards me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Of course."

"You look really sad."

I shook my head but couldn't come up with a suitable response. She spoke again instead. "Where's Jen? I want to tell her about the dream I had last night. It was so crazy."

I bit my cheek, eyeing her hard. How was I supposed to tell her that she wouldn't be seeing one of her undoubtedly favorite people anymore? At the very least, I couldn't say that she chose to just up and leave. It would break Ark. "Her... uh, dad, wanted her to come home. So... she had to go."

Ark's brow creased. "Wait, what?"

I looked down at Jen's note again, breathing harder. "I'm sorry Ark."

She pulled herself onto the stool next to me. "Well will I see her again?"

I shook my head. "I.. don't think so."

Ark stayed silent for a while, before I saw her reaching up to wipe her eyes. "Never?"

"I...." My voice caught in my throat. The likelihood of Ark ever seeing Jen again was ridiculously low. I was extremely pissed off at her and she was dead set on distancing herself from me, so the chances of us seeing each other outside of school after her stupid decision to go back home, well, there really weren't any. I settled with a safer answer than no. "I'm not sure."

My answer didn't help. She pressed her palms to the corners of her eyes to try and stop the tears from coming down. "Oh," she said, trying hard not to make the hiccuping noise that she always made when she cried. "Okay."

She turned away from me, hopping off the stool and running into my bedroom. I would have followed her but I was in no condition to be consoling someone else. I needed consoling. On the outside, I was fine. I had to be. On the inside, it felt as if there was nothing left. It felt as if Jen had stripped me of everything that I had refused to let anyone else see, but when she left, she took it all with her. I felt pain again, like the pain I'd tried so hard to shut out after my mom's death, only it was a different pain this time.

I hated this kind of pain.

I looked down at the note on the counter, tightening my fists. Maybe she'd been trying to do the right thing. Maybe, just maybe, leaving me in the middle of the night right after I'd opened up to her seemed okay in her mind. But it wasn't okay. Charles and her social worker didn't matter. It just wasn't okay.

I tore the note in half and threw the pieces in the trash, wondering what I could possibly do to get rid of the terrible feeling of hurt that existed inside of my chest. That Saturday was slow. I sat on the couch and stared at the wall, only able to think about what Jen was doing. Was Charles home? Was she okay?

Each time I asked myself a question pertaining to the brunette that had etched herself a place in my heart, I got mad at myself. She left. She willingly went home to Charles. I told her to stay and I'd meant it; she knew that.

But telling myself these things didn't make it better. I was honestly afraid that I'd drown in my worry until the doorbell rang, breaking my gaze from a tv that wasn't even turned on. I mindlessly got up from the couch and opened the door to see Ashley with her phone pressed to her ear. She looked up. "Hey Lisa. Thanks for watching her but where is she? I can't hang around, June's in the car and he's..." she sighed. "Impatient today to say the least."

I was about to speak, but Ark dashed passed both of us and down the stairs. My sister put her hand in her hair and turned back to me, confusion written all over her face. She hung up the phone. "Uh, what the hell was that?"

I formed a line with my lips. "She's upset."

"Why?"

I shook my head, looking down. "Jen left."

Ashley stayed silent for a while, before her features softened. "Oh, shit." She stepped forward. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Lisa--"

"I'm fine," I snapped. "You should go. June's impatient, remember? And trust me, you should probably go give Ark a hug. She's crushed."

"You look crushed. Lisa, please talk to me. What happened?"

"She. Left. That's what happened and I don't want to talk about it Ashley."

"Don't do that Lisa," she sighed, placing her hands on my arms. "Don't close down just because of one person, okay? I'm trying to be here for you. What happened?"

I shook her off of me, pushing away her arms and stepping back. "I'm not closing down and even if I was, I certainly wouldn't be doing it because of Jen. I just don't need that fucking look of pity that you're giving me right now."

"What do you take me for?" she said, shaking her head. "Lisa, this is the exact same thing you did after mom passed. You're acting so similar that it's actually scaring me because you were making so much progress with Jen around. Please talk to me, because I know you and you don't handle pain well on your own."

"I am not in pain and this is no where near the same thing as mom's death. No where near it. You're starting to make me angry, Ash. You need to leave."

"I do need to leave but I can't until I make sure that you're okay. You've already lost mom and I don't know what's going on right now, but I need to make sure that losing Jen too isn't going to send you over the edge."

"You're making too big of a deal out of this. I am fine, and I'm no longer asking you to leave, I'm telling you. I need to be alone."

A string of emotions flickered through her eyes. "Lisa, please--"

I shut the door, cutting her off. I couldn't listen to a word that she was saying right now. I pressed my back against the door and sunk to the floor, putting my head in my hands.The problem was, she was right. I was doing the same thing that I had done when my mom died. I couldn't help it, and the only person that I could talk to and feel better afterwards was Jen.

So I had a problem, a huge problem, and I didn't know how to get rid of it

****
Jen

The first couple of days in Charles's house weren't the hell that I remembered. I remembered a tolerable but irritating sober man during the day and a raging alcoholic at night.

During those first few days, he was neither of those things.

But I wasn't an idiot. I knew why he was acting like the typical caring father. He was getting in his zone for when my social worker showed up. He knew he couldn't touch me because he didn't know when she'd show and I couldn't be marked up when she did visit.

I hadn't gone straight back to Charles's house when I left Lisa's apartment. I had made my way to Taemin's because not only was it closer, but I was an absolute reck at that point and I needed him. He didn't ask what was wrong and I didn't tell him, but he was there and I was more than grateful.

Monday was the worst day that I had had in a while. I spent the first two periods dreading third, I spent third trying to find ways to become invisible, and I spent the rest of the day trying to avoid the people that were all too persistent in maintaining a friendship with me. I ran into Cara and I could tell that she was upset and confused about what I'd asked Jisoo to talk to her about. When I went home, I ran into Cate, who was more than upset at me for spending two months elsewhere without regularly texting her.

I didn't see what the hell she had to be hurt about, let alone angry, but it was safe to say that almost everyone in my life was upset with me.

I could only think about one of them.

I had no idea what Lisa was feeling. She had rebuilt her wall and it was impossible to get a good sense of her emotions. I knew I had hurt her, and I could only imagine what Ark thought of me now, but I didn't know the extent. I couldn't tell if she was angry, sad, worried, or none of the above and my leaving hadn't affected her all that much. I didn't really believe that, but I almost wanted to because I didn't want her to hurt like I was hurting.

Time passed ten times slower now that I was alone again. Taemin was a good friend but he was wrapped up in a lot of shit that I did not want to get involved in, so I had to stay away. That left me spending most of my time at the grocery store again, and if I wasn't there, I was staring at the walls of my depressing bedroom in Charles's depressing house. His charade went on for about two weeks or so before my social worker finally decided to show up. I usually didn't want to spend much of my time talking to her but I had a feeling it would be bad when she left the house, so I tried to keep her around for as long as possible.

"So how are you doing Jen? You don't look so good."

I leaned against the back of my chair, waving her off. "I'm fine. It's just been a hard couple of weeks in school, is all."

"And how's it like coming home to Charles and Cate?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, as if there was no question whether or not Charles's house was safe for me. "We're still doing this? It's just like it was the last fifty times you asked me that."

"That's good to hear, though you could maybe lose the attitude with me. This is my job, you know."

"Yeah, I know Katherine. Thanks for doing a great job with me." I hardly spoke the truth. The house I was in couldn't possibly have been worse for my safety, which was exactly what Katherine had been trying to prevent. But in her defense, there was absolutely no sign of trouble. I could reluctantly admit that I was a hell of a good liar, to everyone except for Lisa, at least, and Charles was smart enough to keep away when Katherine was supposed to be around.

"Sure thing. Are you sure you're alright though?"

"I'm okay, Katherine. Though I have to admit, I miss the system a little bit."

She stared at me blankly before smiling slightly. "That was a terrible joke."

I forced a laugh. It seemed impossible to do now that Lisa wasn't around. She had made making me laugh seem so easy. "I know."

We spent most of that afternoon talking. I was miserable but I hid it well until she finally left and I sunk back into my chair, exhaustion overwhelming me. I had to admit, I was nervous. Katherine wouldn't be back for a while, if at all. It was pretty clear to her that my home and my new family were both safe and loving. That meant that Charles now had no reason to hold back. I was sure that he had been dying to punish me for leaving. Thankfully, it was afternoon and he had a business to run. I would've loved to see him drive his business into the ground, but sadly, he was a much better businessman than adoptive father.

Charles might've gone to work a little after my social worker arrived but Cate had stayed, and after sending Katherine on her way, she turned back to me. "Can we talk?"

"What? You're not mad at me anymore for choosing to live in a non-abusive household?"

She ran a hand over her face. "I'm not mad at you for looking out for yourself. Someone has to. I'm upset because you know I care about you and you left me in the dark for more than two months. That wasn't cool, Jen."

"You knew where I was going. I told you I was staying at a friend's. You should be more worried now that I'm back."

"I am worried Jen, I'm always worried." She paused. "Wait, you're not leaving again?"

"No, I'm not leaving. Do you want to know why, Cate? Because your husband, who you refuse to get help, took it upon himself to wrap his hands around the neck of a woman that I care way too much about to let him hurt." I took in the look on her face and nodded. "Yes, Cate. It's not just you and me anymore."

She stood there, staying silent and seemingly lost in another world. I sighed, trudging into the kitchen and starting to make myself a coffee. I wasn't sleeping again and even though I'd only been back for two weeks, it had felt like an eternity. I was convinced that this time around, after experiencing what it was like to live with someone like Lisa, I would go crazy in Charles's house.

Cate sat down beside the kitchen counter, seeming far away. She whispered, "He's a good guy...."

I turned back to her and the pure fire in my eyes made her gulp and change her wording. "I mean, deep down, he is. I've seen him be that guy. He helped me when no one else would, and he was loving... and amazing.. and he could be a great father to you. He just needs to stay sober, Jen."

"What the hell are you telling me for? I know that!"

"I'm telling you because I need you to understand that I can't do anything. I've tried so damn hard to be the mom your dad wanted me to be for you. I love you, I do, and I can't stand seeing you this way, but Charles can not and will not get sober until he wants to. And there's nothing I can do now to make him not your adoptive father."

I pressed my palms to my temples and closed my eyes, letting out a long breath. I knew that every time she spoke, a lot of what she said was true. But I also knew that she protected Charles because she loved him, and I hated how often she sided with him. "What do you mean by 'the mom my dad wanted you to be for me'? It's not like he knew that this and... the fire..... were going to happen."

"Of course he didn't. Nobody could've ever predicted everything that you've been through. But when he called me that night, it was like he knew he wasn't coming back out of that house. He told me three things that... I guess I've never told you. Do you want to know what they are?"

I just nodded slowly and she sighed. "He told me to get there as fast as I could. He told me that he was sorry for cheating. And... he told me... that if I loved him at all, I would get sober and be the mom you would need to help you grow up into an amazing woman."

I looked at her with confusion. "What's that supposed to mean? Was my mom already.. gone.. when he called you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know Jen. Maybe. He didn't say anything about the fire. I didn't even know what was happening until I got to your house."

I stayed silent. It was as if my dad had wanted Cate to replace my mom. She couldn't do that. No one would ever be able to do that. "You're not my mom," I said, looking down.

"I know. And I know what you're thinking. I could never replace your mother. Minzy was a wonderful woman and she will always be your mom. I think he just meant.." She sighed. "He wanted me to be that one person you could always count on. I've not done a very good job of being that person, and for that I am sorry, but I don't know what to do about Charles."

I sat down next to her, letting myself soften. "I'm sorry."

"Stop Jen, you have nothing to be sorry for--"

"No, I do, I'm a bitch with you and you don't deserve it. It's just, you always defend Charles. But I can believe that he seemed like a good person once. You're still holding onto that. You can do that if you want to, but I don't think that person is there anymore."

"He is," she said, "I just need to get the alcohol away from him."

"Good luck with that," I sighed. "How do you seem so okay with being married to a person like him? He was strangling her, Cate. He..." I turned my head away from her, swallowing my words. I couldn't speak because the picture in my head of Charles and Lisa was making my throat close up.

"I'm not okay with it. I'm going to talk to him when he's sober, okay? I still love him and I need him to get better. For us. We can still be a family."

I looked at her, and I knew that wasn't true. I would never consider Charles to be anything even close to a father. But there was hope in her eyes, and I could tell that she had a duty to fulfill because of what my dad had asked of her, so I stayed quiet.

Besides, was it wrong of me to hope that maybe one day I could have a family again?

****

It was less than twenty four hours later that any of the non-existent hope I'd had while talking to Cate disappeared. I opened the door to Charles's house and threw my bag on the floor, beginning to head towards the kitchen for something to eat. I didn't take a single step before I felt myself being shoved against the front door and pinned down, all in one quick motion.

"You know... what I find.. interesting?" Charles mumbled, breathing heavily on my neck as I shut my eyes and waited for the right moment to fight back. I was done letting him touch me. If he was going to hurt me, he'd have to put some actual effort into it.

"What? The fact that you have a wife? I find that interesting."

He laughed. "No.... but good guess. I find it interesting how easy you're able to get inside of Cate's head and turn her against me. You see, in the two months that you were gone, she didn't say a thing. But now all of the sudden you're back and she's trying to take the beer out of my hands."

I looked him up and down. "Are you even drunk right now?"

"Why are you still talking?" he grumbled, ignoring my question. He moved my hands over top of my head and held them there forcefully and I couldn't help but think that something felt different. I felt helpless. I didn't feel strong anymore. I didn't feel like I could put up with his bullshit. I wanted to fight, and I certainly tried, but it was so much different this time.

I felt defeated.

I brought my legs up and kicked him in the stomach. He released me and I fell to the ground, hitting my head on the way down. I scrambled to my feet and ran towards my bedroom, and I had almost reached it when I turned slightly to see Charles picking the beer bottle up off the counter and throwing it in my direction.

I could only think one thing: he had gotten so much worse.

I flung myself to the left just in time to feel the beer bottle brushing past my side and hitting the wall, bursting into a million tiny pieces. Charles marched over to me and picked me up effortlessly, slamming my wrists against the wall, but I managed to somehow escape his grasp a second time and run around him. I felt a piece of glass stuck in my arm but I ignored it, running but feeling like I wasn't going anywhere. Charles reached me before I could get out the front door and he pulled me back with so much force that, with my weight, I was sent flying across the room.

When I landed, I screamed.

I had landed on his broken beer bottle.

His eyes widened, as if he had shocked himself by doing such a thing. I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes as I struggled to move, glass piercing my stomach and arms. Charles huffed, crossing his arms. "Good. That'll teach you."

And then he walked into his bedroom and shut the door, leaving me alone on the hard-wood floor outside of my own room.

I had never felt so much pain.

But I had no where to go, and I knew it was better I deal with Charles than Lisa get hurt.

****

The next day was a Thursday and I was dreading school for multiple reasons. I didn't want to see Jisoo, Cara, or Lisa, and I knew I would see all three of them. My entire upper body, excluding my face, looked terrible, and I could only imagine how bad it would be if Lisa saw. I had no idea what she would do, but I didn't like the possibilities. I needed to hide my pain from her during both class and detention, but that task seemed impossible.

Surprisingly, that Thursday, the task was easy. She seemed to be trying her hardest not to pay any attention to me in class and there just wasn't detention. I had reluctantly walked into her classroom after school was over, looking up nervously to see her staring at me with her jaw clenched. "You don't have to come to detention anymore."

"I.. thought I had a month left--"

"Well I decided your time was up," she said, looking back up at me. She pointed to the door. "Please close it on your way out."

I realized that time didn't make the tension between us better; it made it worse. She was becoming more upset as time went on. She continued to shield her emotions from me, but I was starting to pick up on those few signs she gave telling me that she was more than upset: the almost unnoticeable glances she would throw my way as I walked out of the room, the way she looked at me to see if I was hurt, the pain that flickered through her eyes every time she had to call my name when grouping us up.

I had closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a while after that, watching the students remaining in the school scurry through the hallway. The rest of the day had passed slowly, excruciatingly slow, because I was in more pain than I'd ever been in. But at least I didn't have to worry about Lisa knowing what Charles had done.

Or so I thought. Friday eventually rolled around and Lisa seemed just as reluctant to look at me, which was good, until the period ended and I stood up. I started walking toward the door and Richard walked into me, making my face contort into a grimace exhibiting a million different kinds of pain. He spoke, "Dude, watch where you're going."

I couldn't think. I could only feel the pain and hear the ringing in my ears. My eyes closed briefly and when they opened, everyone was out of the room and Lisa was in front of me. She was holding my arms, and as soft as her touch was, it was only making the pain worse. I pulled myself away from her, lightly touching my arms. She whispered, "He hurt you."

I started shaking my head. "N-No..."

"Yes," she said simply, keeping any emotions that she was feeling hidden. "He did."

I steadied myself and picked up my bag, situating one of the straps on a spot on my shoulder not punctured. I made my way toward the door, but she placed a hand on my shoulder, slowly turning me around. "Please let me see."

"Lisa, no--"

She placed her hand on my cheek, silencing me. "Please."

I didn't know what had just changed, but I found that I couldn't say no. She left me briefly to lock her door before she walked back over to where I was now sitting on a desk. She looked at me expectantly and I sighed, lifting my shirt over my shoulders and placing it on my lap. Her eyes went to my chest first, which was surprisingly unaffected. I watched as she forced herself to look downward, her eyes widening when they met the large gash that the biggest piece of glass had made in my stomach.

She couldn't speak. Her hand shook as she reached forward and brushed my skin, making me grunt and instinctively grab her wrist to stop her. She shook her head. "I need you to come with me."

"I'm not going home with you--"

"I didn't ask you to come home with me." She picked up my shirt off my lap and pulled it over my head. "Go back to class. When school's over, come to my parking spot."

I had no idea what was going on inside of her head. If anything, I had imagined she would freak out and tell me that she had to get me out of Charles's house immediately. But she wasn't doing any of that. I left her classroom quickly and did as she said, finishing the day and meeting her by her parking space when it was over. She ushered me into her car silently and started driving.

"Lisa, where are you taking me?"

She stayed silent, ignoring me. After a while, she spoke up. "What are those cuts from?"

"Uh.... a beer bottle."

She pulled into the parking lot of her gym, stopping the car and closing her eyes. She nodded slowly and I spoke. "How are you so calm?"

She just shook her head and pulled her car door open, muttering something that sounded like, "I have to be."

When she had made her way around to my side and opened my door, I spoke. "Why are we here?"

She didn't answer me, instead guiding me out of the car and through the gym until we had made it to the very back. She raised her voice in the direction of a young hispanic man. "Tomas!"

He turned, smiling and raising his hands. "Lisa! As far as I know you've got another week until winter break, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"One sec," she mouthed to him, turning back to me. She stared at my arms as if she could see through my sleeves. "Tomas might be able to help you."

"With what?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "You need to learn how to defend yourself."

I was about to speak but it was like she knew what I was going to say and she stopped me. "And I know Charles is over six feet tall and he's a lot stronger than you, but I guarantee you that there's something Tomas can show you to help, at least a little bit. This can't happen again, Jen. If you're going to stay in Charles's house, you have to learn how to fight back."

I shook my head, gesturing to my stomach. "This is what happens when I fight back, Lisa."

She moved closer, looking down at me with guarded eyes. "This time. With Tomas's help, Charles won't be able to do this to you in the future. Not to this extent."

I looked down. "This is a bad idea."

She placed two fingers under my chin, lifting it up. "Well it's the only idea I've got. Come on."

I trailed behind her to where Tomas stood, my eyes traveling over her backside as I did so. I was a little surprised that she had touched me, even if it was just to lift my chin up. She had seemed so pissed, so done with me, that it was hard to wrap my head around.

I tuned back into their conversation in time to hear Lisa explain, "Basic self defense, Tomas, is all I'm asking. You know how to fight people bigger than you. Help me out."

Tomas looked at me and sighed. "Alright. Come on."

I followed Tomas to the side of the room. I turned to say something to Lisa but she was no longer beside me; she sat at the far corner of the room with her head buried in her hands. I frowned but turned back to Tomas, who spent the next two hours trying to teach me how to fight. I was in loads of pain and I doubted that he could teach me anything to protect me from Charles, but I put effort in anyway because that was what Lisa wanted me to do. I owed it to her.

Eventually Tomas had shown me everything that he wanted to, or was asked to, and he handed me back over to Lisa. Honestly, I did feel like what Tomas had taught me would help. I'd managed to dodge Tomas's 'punches' easily and he was close to Charles's size. Then again, I doubted he was using his full force, but Charles certainly would be.

Lisa silently lead me to her car and started driving. She didn't say a word as she drove to Charles's house. When she parked, she looked out her window, away from me. I sat there for a while, silently, until I finally spoke. I felt like I couldn't leave without saying something. "Are you upset?"

Her head slowly turned and she met my eyes, tightening her jaw. "I have a hard time believing that you don't know the answer to that question."

I looked down, staying silent. She was right. I didn't even know why I had asked such a stupid question when I knew the answer. Who wouldn't be upset?

Lisa looked at me, her green eyes darkening a few hues. I couldn't tell what was going on inside her head but I knew it wasn't good. She eyed me for a moment before leaning across me, my breath catching as she did so. She pulled the handle on the car door and pushed it open before looking back out her window.

I sighed, letting one of my legs out of the car. "I'm sorry," I hardly whispered.

Her head snapped to the right and she narrowed her eyes. "No you're not." She rested her arms on the steering wheel and let out a breath of air. "You never had any intention on staying, did you? You made me talk to you about something that sends me to a really bad place, and then you left. You just fucking left."

"I had to," I whispered.

She pointed a finger in my direction, narrowing her eyes. "Don't you dare say that. You didn't have to do anything and you certainly didn't have to leave me in the middle of the night."

I felt my heart shattering all over again, but I had no idea what to say. I'd screwed up, I knew that, but I couldn't go home with her. I couldn't do that, not that she even wanted me to at this point. "You're right." I lowered my voice. "I didn't mean to make you so upset--"

"I'm not upset, I'm fucking mad at you!" She leaned her elbows on the wheel and pressed her hands to her forehead. "Get out of my car, Jen."

My body was trembling because her wall had broken again and there was so much emotion pouring out of her. I had done that to her. That was me. I nodded slowly, stepping out of her car and shutting the door. It took a few moments but she finally drove away, leaving me standing in my front yard, my fists tightened by my sides to the point where my knuckles were pure white.

I slowly walked into the house and into my bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.

She was crushed.

I did that.

I had hurt the only person in this world that made me truly happy.