DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 5

Pushing myself up from the floor that morning, I stared at my reflection in the mirror on my wall and grimaced at my appearance. I didn't get any sleep last night, not that I usually did, but it was particularly awful this time. I stayed awake with my head pressed against the door and my arms wrapped around my knees, just listening. I didn't scare easily, mainly because of what I'd been experiencing since my parents and my little sister passed away, but I was genuinely scared. I was terrified that Charles was going to come storming into my room, regardless of the lock on my door, and produce more bruises on my body than the ones that were already there. He never did, but that didn't stop him from picking a fight with Cate.

I couldn't hear what they were yelling about, because they were arguing with relatively low voices, but I hated every second of it. I didn't know if she was being hit or if the fight was just verbal, but it bothered me just to think about in the next room over. Finally their voices died down and Charles stormed out of the house, and I was left in absolute silence, my insomnia briefly taking over. I could go to sleep most nights, but there had been a few months in my past where I was running on maybe six hours a week, and I was both physically and mentally draining my body of strength.

I took a shower to try and wake myself up, but the lack of sleep I'd been getting for the past week was just now catching up to me. I let my hair fall around me, because I would most likely need it to cover my sleep-deprived face. I threw on jean shorts and a flannel to cover my bruised upper arm and wrists, and I tried to make myself look a little bit more presentable, but as I headed out the door, I knew I still looked like I'd been run over by a train.

I missed the bus and neither of my 'parents' were home, though I wouldn't even consider getting into a car with Charles again if I didn't have to, and so I started walking. For some reason, the sun felt hotter today and I felt overdressed in my long-sleeve, but I knew I couldn't have worn anything else unless I wanted to be seriously questioned.

There was a dark bruise on my left upper arm in the shape of a hand, as well as my left wrist, and I knew that if anyone saw it, it really would not go over well.

I finally made it to the school after twenty-minutes or so, but I still somehow found that I was early. I started toward the front doors, but noticed a familiar blonde woman on the taller side getting out of her car not far from me, her torso framed by a light grey blouse and a black blazer, her bottom half covered by a tight patterned-miniskirt and of course, her black heels. I tried to scurry away but she turned around and her fierce brown eyes met mine, nearly causing my to freeze.

"Jennie!" she shouted, because she could tell I was dead set on running into the school. I didn't want to talk to her after what she'd seen last night, and I was hoping that she would be naive enough that I could lie my way out of this one too.

Still, I darted toward the school doors, admittedly not such a wise decision on my part because it only made things appear worse, but her long legs caught up to me in no time. She reached forward and grabbed my bruised wrist, which was covered by my flannel, and I tried not to wince as she reeled me back toward her.

"You and I need to talk."

I shook my head, finding it difficult to breathe because there was a really big possibility that she would bring what she saw yesterday to the attention of the principal, and I could not have her doing that. "I have to get to first period, I'm going to be late-"

"I'll write you a god damn pass, Jennie, that's not going to get you out of talking to me about last night."

"There's nothing to talk about, I got picked up-"

"You got picked up? Is that what that was? Because Jennie, that is definitely not what I saw."

I tightened my grasp on the edges of my long-sleeve, running my hand through my hair and standing back to lean against the car beside me. "I don't know what you think you saw but--"

She didn't seem to want to let me finish a single sentence. "I don't think that I saw anything. I know that I saw the pain in your expression, I was not born yesterday. That man was hurting you, and I'd be terrible at my job and a terrible person if I chose to ignore that."

"It was an accident, okay? He just grabbed me a little hard, it's not that big of a deal. I don't know what you're getting at, but.. you're not ignoring anything because nothing happened."

Her face projected pure frustration and possibly anger as she stood back, shifting her weight to her left side as she ran a hand through her wavy blonde hair. "I'm not blind, Jennie! That was not nothing. Who was that man?"

I started shaking my head, and as the first out of two bells rang, I separated myself and turned towards the building. "I'm going to be late," I said just loud enough for her to hear, before I started running in a full out sprint toward the front doors. I could hear her shouting after me but I didn't turn back, and I slowed as soon as I entered the hallway, immediately heading towards my first period. My heart was beating faster than it was last night, which said a lot, and I raced inside my English class just as the second bell was going off.

I pushed the thought of Ms. Manoban out of my mind and struggled to stay awake, my eyes periodically closing before I would jolt awake and tune back into my English teacher's lecture about Oedipus and ancient Greece. The bell finally rang and I slowly trudged toward my art class, not feeling at all up for sketching or, honestly, talking to Jisoo. She was a really sweet girl and she really made an effort to talk to me, which was pretty damn noteworthy considering the way I'd been responding, but I was too tired and physically drained to want to deal with other people.

I sunk into my seat next to her and she didn't acknowledge me at first, but after a few minutes of dazing, she leaned over and nudged my shoulder. "Hey, so listen, me, Rosé, Matty and Zac are going to the mall after school today and it'd be cool if you came. Matty and Zac are doing this whole 'battle of the bands' thing and could use the support if you're up for it."

I held back a sigh and looked over at her, sitting up and forcing myself to get rid of the frown on my face. "I can't, I have to work."

She shook her head. "I.. I mean I hope you don't mind, but I already called my Uncle Dave and asked him if you could have off. I figured.. you know, you'd be happy to take one day off. But you don't have to, I mean Dave said you're welcome there today, but he doesn't mind if you come with us either.."

I really didn't want to turn Jisoo down but I was struggling to allow myself to hang out with her outside of school because of Charles, not to mention I could barely stay awake. I tried to formulate an excuse more acceptable than 'I can't, I have a raging alcoholic breathing down my neck', or 'I can't, I'm tired.' "I really don't know... I mean they're your friends and I don't know them all that well.."

Jisoo just smiles, tilting her head. "Well that's how you get to know them. C'mon, it'll be fun."

"Uh.. I.." I started to shake my head, but her inviting smile never dampened and I decided that one day with them couldn't hurt. Besides, would Charles really go as far as to hurt someone outside of our household? I couldn't be sure that he hadn't already, because who the hell knew what he did with his free time, but wouldn't he be worried about them calling the cops? Or was he just too drunk twenty-four seven to have enough sense to care?

"Okay.. yeah, sure, why not?"

Jisoo's grin grew wider and she nodded. "Awesome. Meet us in the main lobby after seventh and we'll leave from there, okay?"

I nodded and fell silent, my lack of sleep taking over again. It was finally time to go to third period, and so I slipped out of my art class and kept my head down as I walked through the hallway. I looked up briefly to see Ms. Manoban standing at her door today, and somehow her eyes immediately found mine, every muscle in my body instantly tensing. She didn't speak as I crossed her path, presumably because there were other students surging around, but I could tell that she wasn't done 'talking' to me.

I sat in my desk, briefly letting my eyes close because it felt like a chore to hold them up. I realized that I must've fallen asleep when I felt an arm shaking me from the side. I opened my eyes to see Jisoo's hand on my arm and I sat up, finding the eyes of the entire class on me.

"Am I boring you, Jennie?" Ms. Manoban's sharp voice cut through the air and I heard a few snickers from the left, but I just let my hand run down my face as I sighed. Shit.

"No.. I.. I love.... uh, biology." I'd been trying to make up for falling asleep in her class with the last half of my response, but for a second I actually forgot what she taught.

She smiled tightly, her brown eyes darkening a few hues as she tilted her head. "Fantastic, so then I'm assuming you wouldn't mind spending a lunch detention with me so we can go over what you missed during your nap, would you?"

More snickers escaped from the lips of a few kids around me and I swear I wanted to knock their smug expressions right off their face, but I just sank back into my chair and sighed. I wasn't going to protest in front of the whole class, but there was no way that I was going to sit in here, alone with her for a little less than an hour.

Jisoo gave me a sympathetic smile as the bell rang and slipped out the door, and I rubbed my eyes, fatigue still hanging over me. I picked up my bag and slowly trudged over to her desk, the frown evident on my face. "Please Ms. Manoban, I'm sorry I fell asleep but I already get to spend every Thursday with you. Is this really necessary?"

She stood up from her desk, rolling her chair back and bringing herself closer to me in the process. She tilted her head, ignoring what I had just said. "Didn't get much sleep last night?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, heavily disliking the tone of her voice. "I slept fine, I'm just having an off day. Come on, we spend enough time together as it is, I know you're sick of seeing me. Can I please go to lunch?"

She pursed her lips, biting her cheek. She didn't speak for a while but then she finally did, walking around her desk so that she could stand in front of me without anything in between us. "Fine, you can go, but only if you answer my questions first."

I sucked in a breath, almost immediately knowing where this was headed. I lowered my eyes, sinking back into the desk muttering, "I think I'd rather just spend the next hour in detention..."

I buried my head in between my arms, my light brown hair falling around me. I heard a heavy breath escape her lips, but instead of walking back to her seat, she sat down in the chair next to me. Her arm rested on her thighs, which were pointed towards me, and she put her free hand on my shoulder.

"Jen, I really.. I can't let this go, at least not until you talk to me."

I looked up at her, swallowing slowly. Her cold, hardened exterior seemed to fade a bit, and I also noticed that for once, she hadn't used my full name. "There's nothing to talk about Ms. Manoban.."

She let her hand fall, sighing. "Don't tell me that, because you and I both know that's a lie. I need you to be honest with me, okay? You can trust me, I promise. Who was that man?"

I considered being honest with her for a moment, weighing the possible consequences of telling her that I was adopted. I didn't have to tell her Charles abused me, but what was the harm in telling her the truth about my history in foster care? After arguing with myself in my head for a while, I finally decided against it. If I told her that Charles was my 'dad' and she assumed that he was abusive, she would have reason to look farther into it and get the principal, the police, and possibly child protective services involved.

"An old friend's brother," I lied. "I asked him to pick me up from work yesterday night."

She shook her head. "Yeah, well he didn't look too happy. I saw the way that he grabbed you, and I saw that he was angry. Did he hurt you?"

I looked down. "No."

It was too short and too quick for her to believe it, and I know I should've given her a longer answer. I looked over at her to see her eyeing my torso and I suddenly felt self-conscious, but only because she appeared to be staring at my chest.

I realized she wasn't, however, when she spoke up a few seconds later. "So you're telling me that this is all a misunderstanding and he doesn't normally treat you this way?"

I shook my head. "That's what I'm telling you."

"Then show me your arm."

My eyes switched up to hers immediately and I started to inwardly freak out. "What? Why?"

"Because if this is just a stupid misunderstanding, then he wouldn't have grabbed you hard enough to leave a mark. Jennie, show me your arm. You're wearing a flannel in seventy-nine degree weather. Do you really think I'm too dumb to figure out why?"

I sat there, unable to speak. I finally shook my head, grabbing my bag and getting up. "I don't know what you're talking about. Look, I have to go. I need to eat."

I started toward the door but she slid out of the seat she was in and moved toward me, her heels clicking on the floor beneath us. "Jen."

I didn't turn around, instead continuing on my way but she ran around me to stand in front of the door, crossing her arms. "I'm not letting you leave until you take the flannel off."

I raised my eyebrows, frustrated that she wouldn't let me leave, and I couldn't help but let the sarcasm drip through my teeth. "You want me to take it off? What, you didn't get enough last time to hold you over?"

Her eyes flared with anger and she clenched her fists, stepping forward. Her grave expression scared me and I stepped back, but she followed me until I was pressed against the wall and she was standing in front of me, her eyes lowered. "You know that isn't what I meant, and I swear to god Jen, if you bring that up one more time in this classroom..."

She exhaled, allowing me to smell the coffee that she'd probably just had to drink on her breath. My eyes switched from the floor back up to hers, and she leaned back. "This isn't that hard, Jen. If there's nothing going on, you shouldn't have a problem rolling your sleeves up so that we can call it a day."

I didn't know how to answer her, because there was something going on, and in this particular situation, I didn't know how to hide it. I'd never had someone so persistent in worrying about my safety, if that's even what she was doing, and I couldn't formulate a way out in my mind as she stood in front of me, waiting.

I just shook my head, looking down. She stepped forward, her hand grabbing my right wrist and pulling it forward, lifting the flannel up. There were no bruises on my right arm, but I knew that she was headed for the left arm next, and so I pulled away. Her hand immediately shot out and tightened around my upper arm, her fingers unintentionally pressing into my bruise.

"Shit!" I shouted, unable to suppress the pain I'd just felt. She eyed me knowingly, as if I was only proving that she wasn't crazy, and she immediately pushed my sleeve up, revealing the bruise on my wrist and the black hand-shaped bruise on my upper arm. Her eyes widened and she stood back, her expression shifting greatly.

"Jen.." she whispered, her thumb brushing over my wrist lightly. Suddenly her hardened exterior was gone and her eyes were laced with pure concern. Her touch sent shivers up my body and at the same time left a tingling sensation on my skin, and I couldn't understand what was happening. She then moved her hand to my upper arm and trailed her fingers lightly over the bruise, her horrified expression clearly evident. "This is not okay.."

"It's not as bad as it looks, okay? I made him really mad, and.. I had it coming to me, seriously, I deserved it-"

"Jen," she said, her sharp voice interjecting. "I don't give a shit about what you could've done, this is not okay. Why don't you understand that? Does he normally do this?"

I shook my head. "No, no of course not, he's never around anyway, okay? This was the first time he was home in.... in years." I found it amazing how easily I could tell her a completely lie, but I kept going. "Seriously, this doesn't ever happen. He's gone now... everything's fine."

She put her hand in her forehead, leaning back against her desk. "Jennie..."

"Look, Ms. Manoban, I get that you're worried, and you have every right to be. But I promise, he dropped me off at my house yesterday and left town. There's nothing to be worried about. Okay?"

She shook her head. "I can't just ignore this.."

"But there's nothing to report, Ms. Manoban. It was an accident and now he's gone anyway. Look, I... I promise to tell you if he comes back, okay? Can I please just go?"

She brushed her thumb over my bruise again and shook her head, scrunching up her nose in the process. Her hands trailed up my arms and rested on my shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "This is... shit.. do you.. do you promise me that you'll tell me if he comes back? Or if he hurts you? Seriously Jennie, I'm trusting you."

I nodded my head. "I will, I promise. But I'm not in any danger, okay? He didn't mean to do it."

She nodded back, letting my sleeve fall. Her hands didn't retract from my shoulders though and instead dragged upwards painfully slow. My breathing caught in my throat and she stopped her moving hands, our eyes meeting. For once since meeting the woman, her hardened eyes were soft and she looked at me with pure worry. We were close enough that if she wanted to, she could merely shift her head and our lips would meet.

But then, almost as if she knew what I was thinking, she took her hands off of me and stepped back, allowing me to finally breathe again. "You're going to tell me if something like this happens again. I don't care if it's an 'accident'."

I nodded, picking up my bag as I backed towards the door. "I will, I promise."
I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that promise, but I had to say it anyway. She didn't appear to want to say anything else, so I turned to slip out the door. As I was leaving, I looked through the window to see her pressing her palms to her eyes, and I heard her release a shaky breath as she sunk back into her seat.

And then I heard her quiet voice whispering, "What are you doing to me.."

It was so quiet that I was pretty sure I imagined her saying it, so I backed away from the door and started toward the lunchroom.

And after all that, I'd promised Jisoo that I would go to the mall with her and her friends.

Damnit.

***
I sat next to Jisoo, sipping on a water while I pushed around the fries in the basket. We were waiting in the food court for the competition Matty and Zac were supposedly competing in to start.

"So, how's the new job at Dave's store?"

I looked up from the table, putting down the fry in my hand. "Uh, it's good. He's really lenient with days off, clearly.. and he pays me fully even if I don't fill the time.."

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah, he's a pretty chill guy. Then again, he probably only let you ditch your shift like that because he can't say no to me."

"He doesn't like you that much," Rosé joked beside me. "If anything, he likes me better."

Jisoo rolled her eyes, "Get the hell out Rosé, you know that's bullshit."

She shrugged, laughing. "Yeah, you're right. I'm pretty sure he hates me."

"Dave doesn't hate anyone."

I didn't know what I was doing there with them. I honestly felt a little out of place, because here were these two girls and two guys, the perfect ratio, that had probably known each other their whole lives. Who was I to come in and try to join the group?

Rosé and Jisoo continued to talk as I sat there and pushed around the fries in the basket, not bothering to eat any. "You don't really talk much, do you?"

I looked up to see Jisoo looking at me with her head tilted, and I realized that Rosé had disappeared out of her seat. I shrugged, "I do.. sometimes.. you guys just have this whole dynamic about your friendship, and I don't want to jump into a conversation not regarding me."

She frowned slightly. "I invited you here because I want to get to know you, Jen. You seem cool and I like making new friends."

"Oh," I answered. It didn't come natural for me to get to know people, especially not in such a seemingly normal teenage-hangout. Truth be told, I couldn't remember ever going out to the mall to 'hang out' with friends. Actually, I'm pretty sure that the last time I ever went out with anybody was when I was five and my mom took me and my baby sister to the park along with my friend from pre-school. That was the same year as the fire. "Where did Rosé go?"

She eyed me for a moment before nodding to the left. "Bathroom. So, what's your deal, did you just move here?"

"Last year, yeah. I haven't really.. had the opportunity, I guess, to make many friends."

"Well," she started, taking a sip of her coke, "the good news is that I like you, Zac wants to date you, and I'm pretty sure the other two think you're pretty cool too."

I tried to smile, achieving something of the sort. "I'm not sure why, I've barely even said anything."

Jisoo tilted her head, glancing at me curiously. "Well, let's fix that then, yeah? So what kind of movies do you like?"

I shrugged. "I don't really watch movies."

She just shook her head at me. "You're making this really hard."

My lips twitched upwards slightly and I looked down. "Sorry.. ah, okay, well when I do watch movies, I like horrors and comedies."

"Damnit you're a horror fan? You and Rosé would get along then, I can't watch those movies."

I shrugged. "I prefer comedies, but only if they're funny."

She tilted her head at me and laughed, "Well that makes sense. What's a comedy if it's not funny?"

It was at that point that we heard a few taps on a microphone and our heads turned to see a man standing in front of a platform in the middle of the food court. "Ladies, gentlemen, how ready are you for this month's battle of the bands?"

I'd never been to one of these and I didn't know what to expect, but the people in the food court started cheering loudly, Jisoo included. Not long after, live music started to fill our ears and eventually Zac and Matty stepped up, followed by two females that I'd never seen before. One sat behind drums and another stood in front of the mic, and soon they were performing for their shot at one-hundred dollars. They were actually really good, and I found that I was at least semi-enjoying myself over the course of the next hour. It sure beat work, or sitting alone at home wondering when Charles would be home and whether or not he'd be drunk.

"So the winner is determined by applause, so when we're voting, you gotta be as loud as you can possibly be," Jisoo said and Rosé nodded in agreement. After the last band had performed, they all lined up and the crowd started voting with applause, until they got to Zac and Matty's band and they went crazy.

It was safe to assume that they'd won.

Zac grabbed the mic out of the hands of the host and started on a speech that I could only expect to come from him, even though I'd barely known the guy longer than a week and a half. "I'd like to thank my mom for this win. Mom, I love you. Anyway, to all the ladies in the audience, our bass player Matty is single. I'd also like to dedicate this win to Jen-"

He was cut off by Matty pulling the mic out of his hand, but he pulled it back briefly enough so he could finish by saying, "You will be mine."

Jisoo laughed and nudged my shoulder, "He's not making you uncomfortable when he does that, is he? He's already wasted his time on me and Rosé, so I guess now he's coming for you."

I shook my head. "I don't really care, but he did hear me say that I'm gay, right?"

Jisoo laughed. "Yeah, that's not going to scare him away."

The boys and the two girls in their band grabbed their check and made their way toward our table. Matty threw an arm around Rosé's shoulder and smiled, whispering to her, and Zac headed straight for me.

"Hey there, beautiful. Did you like our music?"

"I'm gay."

"I know, but that isn't what I asked."

I just shook my head, a hint of a smile forming on my face. "Yeah, it was some pretty decent music."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Decent?"

I just shrugged and he sighed, turning to the girls behind him. He ushered one of them forward and threw an arm around her, gesturing towards me. "Cara, Jen. Jen, Cara."

I nodded to her and she nodded back. "It's Charlotte, actually, but call me whatever you want."

"Alright let's go ladies, we have places to be and people see. Oh, Jen, Cara is gay, just thought I'd let you know. I am always a viable option, though."

Cara looked at Zac, brushing her dark brown hair out of her face. "Dude, really?" She sighed, turning to me. "Look you're hot and everything but I'm not looking for a relationship, Zac's just an idiot-"

"I'm not looking for a relationship either, trust me Cara, but it's nice to meet you."

She smirked at me and shrugged. "Nice to meet you too, Jen."

Zac came in between us then, throwing his arms over both of our shoulders. "Great, we're both acquainted, now who wants food?"

And so I spent the rest of my afternoon with Jisoo, Rosé, Zac, and Cara, and I tried to momentarily forget everything that had been floating around in my head.