DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 7

When Charles stumbled home drunk on Friday night, I approached the situation in a much smarter way than I had been. I had just gotten home from work and Charles obviously headed straight for me when he opened the door, but I used my size and my speed to my advantage. His hand-eye coordination was delayed because of the alcohol coursing through his veins, and so I ran to the left but quickly turned to the right to grab his keys off the counter and run out the door.

I could hear him yelling as I floored his mustang down the street, my heart pounding. I knew that if I got pulled over I would be in a lot of trouble, but hopefully I had enough skill with driving to maneuver correctly on the road.

I didn't know where to go to avoid driving back home. I knew I couldn't return tonight, because if Charles caught me while still drunk, it would be really bad. I ended up driving aimlessly for a good half an hour, burning all Charles fuel unintentionally, though I did get a little bit of enjoyment out of it. Somehow I ended up in front of large white house that hadn't been there the last time I'd driven down this road.

I was parked on my old street.

I pulled the keys out of the ignition, figuring that I had no where else to go for the night so I would just sleep here. I turned to look out the window, studying the newly built house that had been constructed over the ashes of my old one. The property in front of me held so many bad memories, and I knew that if I continued to sit here, I would eventually be sent reeling back.

But I didn't move.

I tried to remember what my old house looked like. I can't say that my five-year-old self was very observant, but I remember a two-car garage on the left, bricks lining the bottom of the house while the second floor was encased in beige siding. It wasn't much, because my mom wasn't working and my dad's child support only got us so far, but he gave us all that he could. I think I might've been one and a half when my dad and my mom got divorced, but it was mutual and the split was peaceful, my father and mother both still maintaining a friendly relationship while caring for me.

I really still felt like we were a family even if I understood that my dad and mom weren't together anymore. I might have been three when my dad met Cate and they started dating, getting married not long after. She played with me and brought a smile to my face, so I naturally accepted her into my life. Looking back, I'm sure now that my dad had an alcohol problem, which might've been why my mom fell out of love with him or just deemed it unsafe for him to live with us. She knew that he loved us with all that he had though and would never even think about stripping him of his parental rights.
But it was the night of my fourth birthday that things in my life started going south. I don't know too much about what happened, but I know that my mom and dad slept together without protection and produced my little sister, and my mother wouldn't even think about abortion. It wasn't a plausible solution in her mind. She had the baby and my dad loved her all the same, and somehow my dad and Cate still lasted even though he had cheated on her. I had come to learn that Cate kind of let people walk all over her, and when she loved someone, there wasn't a whole lot they could do to her to fuck that up. In my dad's case, it was cheating. In Charles case, it was abusing her adoptive 'daughter'.

I forced myself to look away from the house because I knew that if I looked at it for any longer, my mind would start flashing through images of when I was five and I wouldn't be able to handle that. I would see images of the fire in my mind and I would hear my mom screaming, my dad talking to me calmly before running back into the burning house. The wind whisked through the trees then and a branch hit my window, causing me to hear the collapse of our roof from the night of the fire. I forced the images and sounds out of my head, sinking into my seat and trying to hold my shaking body still.

I had a high suspicion that I wouldn't be falling asleep tonight.

Jisoo tried to get me to go out with her and her friends during the next week of school, but I used my work as an excuse. After all, what was the point of having a job if I bailed everyday? I needed the money and I wasn't getting payed when I wasn't doing work, so I really didn't have another choice. I wasn't exactly upset that I couldn't join her though, because although I enjoyed hanging out with her, I didn't like the idea of her growing closer to me. It would give Charles the opportunity to hurt her or one of her friends, which would fall back on me and I would never stop feeling guilty.

When Thursday rolled around and I found myself outside of Ms. Manoban's classroom once again, I started to grow nervous. She had been eyeing me all week but I hadn't given her a chance to talk to me and I hadn't seen her at the grocery store on Tuesday, so I assumed that she would try and confront me about what happened a week ago. I was quite obviously affected by her comment more than a normal person would have been, but I could only hope that she had forgotten about it by now.

I pulled the door open and stepped inside, seeing Ms. Manoban at her desk with her long blond hair surrounding her face. She looked up to see me walk in with my bag over my shoulder and she did not look happy.

"Don't sit down, we're not staying here."

I looked up at her to see frustration written on her face as she hastily started typing on her keyboard. I leaned against the door, watching her as she worked. "So.. I don't have detention today?"

She briefly looked up at me, clearly irritated. "That's not what I said. I'm being forced to change the bulletin in the main lobby every week and you're going to get the privilege of helping me."

"Can you make me do that?"

"Yes Jennie, I can, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to make you."

"Did you think I would be excited to do the school's bulletin?"

She sighed, logging off of her computer and standing up with a stack of files in her hands. I could hear the annoyance in her voice as she walked over to me and gave me an expecting look, telling me to move out of the way. "I don't know, I figured that maybe you'd rather do something than sit here with me for an hour in silence."

I smirked, "So detentions are supposed to be silent."

She exhaled, shaking her head and opening the door. I took her gesture and headed into the hallway, and she quickly turned to lock the door before nodding her head in the opposite direction. "Let's go, if we do this right, it should only take the usual hour and you can go to work or wherever it is that you walk to."

I jogged a little to catch up with her, her long legs allowing her to travel much faster than I could. "Stalker much? How do you know that I walk?"

She didn't look up from the papers that she was flipping through as we turned a corner. "I have better things to do than to stalk you Jennie. I see you walking down the sidewalk everyday as I'm getting into my car."

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, before answering, "...You really don't like nicknames do you?"

She looked up from her papers, eyeing me silently before she stopped in front of a large blank bulletin board. I set my bag down and took it upon myself to hop on the table to the left. "Oh good," I said, letting my sarcasm flow, "I was worried there for a minute that we would have to start from scratch."

"I'm sure you were. Here," she said, handing me papers and glue. "Glue the green stars to the gold stars and start stapling them on."

"Can't we just put the announcements up and call it a day? Are decorations really necessary?"

"You're complaining to the wrong person Jennie, I don't want to do this either."

I moved back on the desk and brought my knees to my chest, gluing the stars together. "This isn't what you hoped for when you went to school to be a biology teacher?"

Her eyes lowered as she squatted down, putting the stacks of papers on the floor. I could just barely hear her muttering, "I didn't go to school to become a biology teacher."

I assumed her answer meant that she'd majored in another science and just got her teaching certification in biology. "Okay, chemistry teacher then."

"I didn't want to be a teacher period."

I thought about the lack of interest she showed while she explained things to us or while she was demonstrating a lab. "Well that makes a lot of sense."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

I shook my head. "I'm not insulting you, I'm just saying you don't exactly show a lot of passion when you teach."

Her striking brown eyes fixated on me momentarily, before she stood up and started to staple white sheets of paper with announcements to the board. "I'm well aware."

The lobby began to empty shortly after we stopped speaking, leaving Ms. Manoban and I alone. "Why is that?"

"I'm really not in the mood to talk right now."

"Okay, I'll stop talking when you answer my question."

She tilted her head, stapling a white piece of paper to the board before ignoring my comment and bending down to get more materials. I couldn't help but let my eyes travel across her backside as she faced away from me, and though I'd already seen her without clothes on not too long ago, I found myself having difficulty remembering. Perhaps it was because I was too drunk to pay attention to the finer details or maybe I couldn't picture her complete image because I simply didn't think that I would see the woman again, nor did I care enough to pay very much attention to her. But sitting on the table as I watched her shuffle through papers, I wished I had taken a better look.

When she stood up, she glanced at me to see me awaiting an answer and sighed. "I can't show passion that I don't have."

"Why would you become a teacher if it isn't what you wanted to do?"

She took the stapler out of my hand and continued what she was doing, looking away from me. "I planned on studying to become a forensic scientist."

"So.... why didn't you?"

"I did, I went for my biology degree, planning to educate myself further to actually get somewhere in that field. Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way you want them to."

"Was it the money?"

She stood up again, and this time when she turned to me, her eyes darkened. "I have my reasons that I don't need to nor feel compelled to share. Hand me the glue."

Her voice was hard and firm, so I didn't waste any time before handing her the glue stick. "Well okay then.. great talk."

Time seemed to be moving slower, if by some chance that was possible, now that I was being forced to work with Ms. Manoban. Today alone was bad enough, but thinking about spending my Thursday afternoons like this for the next few months put me on edge. I already had to work for five hours afterwards; I didn't need to add anymore mundane work on top of that. Needless to say, glueing colored stars together was not at the top of my agenda, and especially not with a woman who seemed to be as interested in talking to me as I was to Charles. I wasn't sure if her lack of interest was because I was her student, because I lied to her and pissed her off, or simply because she didn't like carrying out conversations with people in general.

As she paced back and forth posting announcements to the bulletin board, I studied her. There was something about her that I couldn't quite pin point; she was guarded but at the same time I'd seen her worry and put quite simply, I'd seen her care. I only knew the woman for two weeks, maybe a few days more, and even though her closed-off, stern attitude probably should have put me off by now, for some reason it didn't. It only intrigued me more.

I spent so much of my time in the past trying to figure people out. Every time I was sent to a new foster home, I tried to study the patterns in my new foster parents and siblings' behavior so that I could apply what I'd seen to future foster or group homes. I came to understand how people generally worked, but the woman that was shuffling around in front of me was a completely different story. I had seen her around school in the two short weeks since school started and while other teachers were together, smiling and occasionally laughing together, I didn't see her much. She appeared to stay in her classroom most of the time, and didn't seem to talk to many of the other teachers.

Maybe she was just an introvert and talking wasn't her strong suit.

But it didn't seem that way, though still I couldn't put my finger on what exactly it did seem like.

And maybe, just maybe, I was extremely overanalyzing her.

We stayed silent as the hour passed by, the only sounds being made were the shuffle of papers and the pounding of her heels against the floor. The bulletin board slowly transformed and by the time we were finished, I had to admit, it looked pretty damn good. I just really couldn't see myself doing this every single week.

"I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life, Ms. Manoban. I really have to thank you."

Obviously sensing the sarcasm in my voice, she turned to me and cocked her head. "Oh don't thank me, I'm not the one who decided that making a fake ID would be easier and smarter than getting their older brother to buy them alcohol like normal people."

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes with a blank look on my face. "I like to think sarcasm works best when it's one-way."

She leaned down to pick up the extra papers, before standing back up and pulling her lips into a thin line, probably the closest I would ever get to a smile. "Then why don't you leave it for me to use."

"No thanks, and by the way, I can guarantee you that using a fake ID was a lot easier than getting alcohol from the older brother I don't have."

She lifted her eyebrow. "Sister?"

My mood almost immediately plummeted, because even after years, just the mention of my sister was enough to put her image in my head for days. I grabbed my bag, making sure I was free to go before I slid off the table and forced a response. "No," I said gravely, turning to go.

I felt her hand on my arm, pulling me back. "Did I say something?"

"I have to go to work, have a good night Ms. Manoban."

She shook her head, pulling me back into her yet again. "I'm not letting you go that easy this time. Jennie, what happened last week?"

I started to speak but she stopped me almost immediately, somehow predicting what my response would have been. "Don't even think about denying it, you clearly went.. somewhere else, and I need to know what I said wrong to make you do that."

I shrugged her hand off of me and took a step back. "I was just thinking, you're making a way bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. Seriously, I'll see you tomorrow."

She eyed me for a moment before seemingly giving up, and I turned to leave through the lobby doors. Somehow I still felt the effect of her hold on my arm and I had to be honest, I didn't like it at all.

I was feeling something that I had never felt before, and I honestly had no idea what it was.

****

The worst thing about not being able to go to sleep wasn't even seeing images of my past repeatedly appear in my mind, it was having to listen to Cate and Charles fighting. I couldn't hear what they were arguing about but I didn't want to, mainly because it would probably only make me mad as well. If I had to guess, I would say that Charles had stumbled home drunk and was acting like a dick, and Cate was becoming frustrated.

She had every right to be.

I knew my borderline insomnia was getting worse, and I feared that I would return to the state that I had been in four years ago. I had struggled to go to sleep ever since I was put in the system, whether images of the fire or my past were flashing through my mind or I was simply too terrified to close my eyes because I wasn't sure if I would wake up the next morning. It had gotten really bad in my first group home, which had been twenty times worse than any foster home I had been in before. I was grateful for about a day when the place had to shut down, but then I realized that I would be sent to a group home much, much worse. Thankfully, by then, I'd learned to cope with the threats of the older girls and I wasn't as scared to go to sleep. It was a damned good thing too, because I needed all my physical and mental strength to stand up for myself during the day.

After maybe three hours of sleep, I woke up on Sunday feeling like absolute shit. My body was still in pain and I could feel the effects of very little rest wearing on me. I knew I needed to do something or pretty soon I wouldn't be able to function. My mind wandered to one thing- alcohol. Though I knew it wasn't healthy for me to drink before going to sleep, it was able to help me eliminate my pain, discomfort, and most importantly, the nightmares. It allowed me to sleep for at least a few more hours than I normally would, at least while in Charles presence.

I waited until both Cate and Charles left the house, before I slipped into different clothes and started out the front door. I knew that I was about to take a shot in the dark, but I also knew that Charles wouldn't get me sleeping pills and without sleep, I wouldn't be able to function. I wasn't sure how much more my body could take, and though I was probably doing damage to not only my liver but my brain cells as well, I figured it was better than going crazy due to lack of sleep. I wasn't sure if I needed actual help or if I just needed to find somewhere that wasn't Charles house to sleep, but I assumed that I would find out when I moved into my own place.

I tried to convince myself that the seven months until my birthday wasn't a long time, but in reality it had only been two weeks since the start of school, and I already felt like giving up. I honestly had no idea how I made it through last year like this; I was actually weaker then because I hadn't been used to my adoptive father's behavior. I'd since then built up a tolerance, but I suppose that even if my mind was arguably stronger, my body had been through hell and back and was quite literally done.

After an hour or so of walking, I looked up from my feet to see myself staring up at a familiar, small white building. The street was vacant aside from myself and being back here creeped me out, even if I had actually enjoyed being in this foster home. Surprisingly enough, not all of them were terrifying.

It seemed as though the good ones never lasted though.

I hesitantly took a step forward, unsure of what to find behind the door. I hadn't seen this woman in what felt like ages, and I wasn't sure if she would even want to see me. I knocked on the door, lifting myself up and down on my toes in anticipation. A few moments later, the door swung open to reveal a slender, older woman with wavy blonde hair and black glasses. She immediately widened her eyes and her lips parted in shock. "Jen?"

"Hey..."

The only foster mother that I had ever genuinely felt safe around shook her head, her eyes widening as she took a moment to examine me. "Jesus Jen, is that really you?"

I fidgeted with my hands behind my back. "It's me Chaerin."

Almost immediately after I responded, she pulled me towards her and wrapped her arms around my weak body. I hugged her back as best I could, remembering how she had taken care of me and two other boys when I was younger. She pulled back, never releasing her grip on my arms. "Look at you... you are... wow, it's been years, Jen. What are you doing here?"

"I honestly didn't think you would still be here.. but I was hoping we could.. talk?"

"Uh, yeah sure, I would love to talk."

She ushered me inside and shut the door, and if it was any other person, I would've been immediately put off. I remembered her house vaguely, the tiny living room to the right and the shallow hallway leading to the kitchen from the front door. This place had been my home for only a month or two, but they had admittedly been two of the best months of my childhood, at least my childhood after five years old. Chaerin sat me down at her kitchen table, which I remembered clearly because we used to eat dinner every night here.

The only reason I remembered it so well was because it was one of the few places that I was consistently given a warm, fulfilling meal.

"You've matured so much Jen, I cannot believe how beautiful you are now."

"Was I ugly before?" I joked, knowing that she was one of the few people that I actually could joke with without having my ass handed to me afterwards.

She smiled slightly, shaking her head. "No, you were beautiful then too, it was just harder to see.. Jen, do you even remember how unhealthily skinny you were?"

I nodded, "I remember Chaerin, how could I forget?"

She pulled her lips into a thin line. "Right. Well I don't mean to dwell on the past, I just mean to say you've grown quite nicely. Taller than I expected, I have to say."

I laughed lightly, nodding in agreement. "Didn't think I would grow past five foot-two."

She smiled in response, but as both of us settled into the silence briefly, her expression grew serious. "Are you in a group home?"

"No, actually.. I was adopted last year."

The older blonde woman widened her eyes and smiled widely, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "My god, that's amazing Jen! You deserve a good home."

I lowered my eyes, sighing. "Yeah.."

"What is it?"

I shook my head, sinking into the kitchen chair. I knew that telling her about Charles would finally allow me to get a few things off my chest, and I knew I could trust her, but I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to come clean. As far as I knew, she had been fostering for years and she knew how the system worked by now, so I was sure she would understand that being abused by Charles was definitely a better alternative to going back to a group home, which is where I would almost certainly get placed. The only things I had ever experienced while in a group home were lying, cheating, drugs, and a hell of a lot of fights. I had to admit though, at least we were fed properly in group homes.

Then again, not even that was guaranteed.

"You know.. I almost wish I wasn't adopted."

Her eyes darkened, the light and joy that was there previously completely disappearing. She could already tell where this was headed. "What's going on?"

I debated with myself for a few moments before pulling back the chair and merely lifting up my shirt to reveal my bare stomach. She could immediately that it was bruised, very bruised, and she stood up to brush her fingers over the skin. I winced in pain and she pulled back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't, it's okay."

She shook her head, a frown plastering on her face. "Jen you really don't get a break do you? Who's doing this to you?"

"I was adopted by my old step-mom, her new husband... he's an alcoholic and... well you know what alcohol can do to some people."

"I certainly do, but Jen, why haven't you showed this to your social worker? They'd reverse the adoption before this guy could even blink twice..." she trailed off, and I suddenly got the feeling that she knew my answer even before I said it.

"You know why, Chaerin, the group home they'd place me in would be ten times worse."

She sighed heavily, sitting back down slowly as she ran a hand over her face. "You don't know that.."

I lowered my eyes at her and tilted my head, simply raising my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Fine," she said, biting on her cheek as she sunk further into her seat. "I know you're right, but there has to be something you can do.."

"Come on Chaerin, you know how things work. The only thing I can do is wait it out."

She nodded, zoning out. I knew it was hard for her to see me like this, after all she hadn't given up fostering me by choice. Her fostering license had expired and me and the two other boys were taken away before she had the chance to renew it, and by the time she was eligible to foster again, we were all already in homes considered to be 'safe' and 'healthy'. "I know you want me to keep this to myself, but at least promise me that you'll send this scumbag to prison after you have enough money to move out?"

"You know it's not as easy as that, I doubt they'll take my side.. but I'm going to do every damned thing that I can possibly do to put him away, Chaerin, you don't have to worry about that."

She nodded, and after a few moments of silence, she spoke up. "So are you here because you need something from me or just because you wanted to talk to someone?"

I shrugged, sinking into the seat next to her. "Maybe a little bit of both? I have been feeling really alone lately, so seeing you helped, but I also do need to ask you something."

"Okay?"

"Do you.. by chance... know where Taemin ended up?" I thought back to when I was thirteen, living with Chaerin and two other boys named Sungjae and Taemin. had been the one to give me my ID, though it had been almost two years after we were separated. I was fifteen going on sixteen and I was in the group home that I'd been in before being adopted, probably the worst home out of all of them. I stumbled upon Taemin and some other girl in my group home making a deal, and when Taemin and I got to talking, he said he'd be able to help me out.

She furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head. "Taemin? God I don't know, I mean I know he was sent to the boys' group home not far from here, but that was years ago. Who knows where he is now?"

"Do you have the address?" It was such a shot in the dark, but if I wanted any sleep in the next few months, I would need to exhaust all efforts trying to get another ID. It was either that or find another way to fall asleep, which I knew wasn't as easy as it sounded. I thought about Ms. Manoban for a moment and how it seemed like she had only been trying to look out for me by taking away my ID. I kind of felt bad for going behind her back and disregarding everything she had said to me, but at the same time, it wasn't her life. She didn't know what was going on in mine and she had no right to try and tell me what to do. She could certainly try, but that didn't mean I'd have to listen to her.

"Yeah, I do, but I highly doubt you'll find him there."

"I have to at least look."

"Why do you need Taemin so bad?" she asked, standing up to find a pad and pen to write the address on.

"Uh.. I just need to talk to him."

She raised an eyebrow. "Like you just needed to talk to me? Come on Jen."

I stayed silent and leaned on the table, and she sighed. "I can't say I'd be surprised if you're about to do something illegal, but I know you and you're not an idiot. Just be safe okay? I really don't want to be hearing on the news that you overdosed on drugs that Taemin gave you."

"How do you know he deals?"

She gave me a pointed look. "I didn't, but I suppose I do now. Drugs, Jen? Come on, you and I both know you're better than that."

I shook my head. "I don't want drugs from him, Chaerin, you know I will never use."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, be safe, okay?" She handed me the slip of paper that could temporarily resolve my problems and smiled half-heartedly. "Come visit again sometime soon. I have a hunch you have other things to do today so I won't hold you up but.."

I nodded. "I'll come back soon."

Her arms wrapped around me again and squeezed lightly, before she turned and led me to the door. I was about to leave but she grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"Jen, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

She sighed, leaning against the door frame. "For letting them take you away... no one deserves to be moved around as much as you have but Jen, you specifically do not deserve any of this. I regret forgetting to renew my license every day Jen, I.. I really wanted to take you back in but they said that you'd been sent to another home."

"Chaerin, it's not your fault, okay? Thank you for caring."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you for staying strong."

She squeezed my hand and I started down the steps, my fatigued body headed towards the group home. I figured that if I could at least get Taemin to agree to making me another ID, it might have reassured me enough that I would be able to go home and get some sleep.

It took nearly double the time that it had taken to walk to Chaerin's house, but I finally made it to the address she gave me. I hesitantly padded up the broken steps and knocked on the door, hoping that it would be opened by someone semi-rational. The door swung open a few minutes later to reveal a rather short man with dress pants and a white shirt, though the shirt wasn't tucked in and he looked extremely disheveled.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Taemin... is he still here?"

The man, seemingly uninterested, put his hand on his forehead and sighed. He walked back into the house and shouted up the stairs, "Taemin, you have a lady friend at the door."

Hearing this, I grew partially relieved because I heavily doubted that Taemin would actually still be here. After a few moments, I saw him pounding down the steps with another boy smaller than him. I studied how much he had physically matured since the last time I had seen him; he had since grown out the stubble on his chin and he had filled into his body, now not scarily thin but actually muscular. His brown skin had a healthy glow to it instead of the sickly complexion that was similar to mine all those years ago. Both of us had come from terrible foster homes before we made it to Chaerin's house, and he had been given as little food as I had. Of course we had entirely different reasons for not being cared for properly; my foster parents caught me stealing food out of habit. I felt like the carpet was going to be stripped from underneath my feet again and I needed a safety net, and when they found the food I had hidden, they locked up the pantry and isolated me from their birth children.

Taemin on the other hand was being fostered by a drug addict who simply provided a home for him because she needed the state's money. Though I suppose I can't exactly call it a home; from what I heard, it was a tiny one bedroom apartment that had hardly anything in it. The woman was using the money given to her to care for Taemin as drug money, leaving him and his two other foster brothers to find their own food.

They never got very lucky.

"Jen?"

"Taemin, hey."

He walked towards me and leaned on the doorframe, his friend lingering behind him against the railing. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help."

He shook his head, looking back into the house and then immediately pushing me out onto the porch, shutting the door behind him. "What do you need?"

"I need an ID, Taemin, and I know you can help me out."

"No, I'm done Jen. I'm dealing out my last supply this month and then I'm done. I'm trying to get independent living and Kris is watching over me like a hawk. I can't get caught doing anymore illegal shit."

"Taemin, you know I wouldn't be here unless I really needed it. I don't want to get you into trouble but it's an easy job, right? You know a guy, I give you a little bit of money, we call it a day?"

He glanced behind him, through the window. "Damnit Jen, it's not that easy anymore."

"Come on Taemin.. I need this..."

My former foster brother could clearly hear the desperation in my voice and see it in my eyes, and having experienced as much as I had in his lifetime, he knew what I was going through. He knew I wouldn't be here unless I was out of options. What could I do? I'd go crazy if I didn't get some sleep soon and it was clear that I wasn't going to get it naturally. Neither Charles or Cate would ever help me get sleeping pills and I knew they weren't available to me anywhere else on the street, so what were my other options?

I couldn't go on like this.

He shook his head at me, running a hand over his face. "I don't know Jen.. I think the only possible way you can get me to agree is if you pay me double.."

"Done," I said, knowing I had enough money from the cash I'd gotten on Friday from Dave. I knew Cate would help me deposit checks into the bank until I finally turned eighteen, but I hesitantly asked Dave if he could pay me in cash for just one week. Cate and I weren't on the best terms as of late, and we needed to fix that before I asked her for any favors.

I also knew that I should be saving my money to buy a place of my own when I turned eighteen, but if I didn't even make it that long, then the money wouldn't do me any good.

"You know I wouldn't make you pay, but I need to start making money.. and.."

I shook my head. "It's cool Taemin, you got me the last one for free so I owe you anyway."

He reached back and turned the nob on the door, nodding me inside. We walked into the house to see the friend who had previously been behind Taemin up against the wall with another boy's hand wrapped around his neck. The man I assumed to be Kris was trying to break it up but failing miserably, and I already knew Taemin was going to intervene before he even moved.

He immediately moved away from me and wrapped his hands around the taller kid's shoulders, pulling him back and throwing him onto the ground with ease. "You really want a fucking repeat of last time Michael? You got your ass beat by putting your hands on him. He's with me, and I swear to god, if you touch him again, I'm going to-"

Kris intervened, "You're going to what, Taemin?"

Taemin paused, widening his eyes and releasing the kid's shirt. Based on what he told me outside, I could've guessed that he was holding back from saying what he wanted to say because he needed Kris's approval. "Nothing. But keep your filthy ass hands off of him."

Taemin pulled the boy that I still didn't know the name of toward him, guarding him with his body as he nodded me up the stairs. I followed close behind him, not exactly uncomfortable because I was used to the environment. The girls' group home wasn't all that different.

He pulled me into a room with three twin beds, along with his friend who was rubbing his throat gently, and shut the door. He sat the smaller boy down on one of the beds and formed a soft expression, one that I didn't think I had ever seen him use. His hand brushed over the boy's cheek and I watched curiously, until Taemin's expression hardened again and he turned back to me.

"At least this time you actually look like you could be twenty one." He turned and pulled up his mattress, reaching underneath to find a tiny digital camera. "You're lucky I kept this."

He snapped my picture before I even had the chance to blink, but I honestly couldn't care less about what I looked like in the photo. I just wanted the ID. "I owe you big time."

The boy on the bed narrowed his eyes, adverting his eyes from mine to Taemin's. "She owes you? Taemin, what the hell does she owe you for?"

"Don't start with me right now Mino, I just saved your ass, the least you could do is be a little grateful instead of giving me a lecture."

Mino sighed, deciding that instead of arguing he would lie down. I sat beside Taemin on his bed, and as his friend drifted into a light sleep, I lowered my voice and reached into my pocket.

"This enough?" I said, handing him the cash from Friday.

He nodded. "Should be okay."

And with that, I leaned my head on his shoulder and we talked in hushed tones, weight hanging over both of our shoulders. Taemin looked just as tired as I was, and I could tell that his optimism had been severely deflated in the one and a half years since I had seen him.

We had a lot in common.