DELICATE ★ JENLISA

Chapter 36

June first finally arrived. It was a day I had anticipated and dreaded for months. June and I sat alone in his car, both of us anxious. He hid it well but I knew that his confidence of winning had been greatly diminished after Lisa told him that she wasn't going to testify. He had scrounged up last minute testimonies from a few others, hopefully ones that would make up for Lisa's absence, but it wasn't likely.

She was with Ashley. They'd be sitting in the back of the courtroom, watching. It reassured me, knowing Lisa was still there for me even if she wasn't going to testify. If at any time I felt hopeless, I'd look back at her and maybe, just maybe, that would change a little.

I hadn't seen Charles in months. When my eyes met his, the world seemed to stop for a moment. I felt a surge of emotions, all different. None of them were positive. His face was cleanly shaven, his hair was combed to the side perfectly, and his gray suit seemed void of wrinkles. He looked harmless, honestly. He looked like a businessman, but he had done something to his appearance to give himself a softer, almost fatherly look.

When I stepped out of June's car, I was met with reporters. Swarms of them, shoving microphones in my face as they pestered me with irrelevant questions I didn't want to answer. I quite literally pushed through them, following June into a courtroom that was already pretty filled. I sat down next to him and looked back, searching for Lisa. She was talking to Ashley, and even from far away I could sense her uneasiness. I knew she was worried about the outcome of the trial, for sure, but also worried about her safety. Those photos could still be leaked by whoever took them, despite what Ashley had said. That was worrying to both of us.

Ashley nudged Lisa's side, nodding towards me. Lisa's eyes shifted over to me, searching my face for emotions. She mouthed, "Breathe," and it was only then did I realize that I'd been holding my breath.

It wasn't long before the courtroom doors were shut, locking out the media. There were spectators, a lot of them. I had no idea who any of them were, but based on their appearance, I had a hunch a lot of them were here to support Charles. He was the boss of a lot of people, and coincidentally, a lot of people liked him. Quite a few adored him. I knew that. Hell, I had met some of those people. I didn't blame them. When Charles tried, he could be a decent person. But they didn't know what he was like when he got home. He only showed that side of himself to me, and on rare occasions, Cate.

Cate was sitting behind Charles, whispering into his ear. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe. I was so utterly done with Cate. She was an idiot in love, and I knew I was being hypocritical because I would probably do anything, anything to keep Lisa safe, but I couldn't even look at her. I had protected her. I stood up for her. I let Charles beat me because I knew she couldn't handle it.

This was how she thanked me?

Now that Lisa wasn't testifying, she was my only hope. June had told me that she couldn't refuse to testify. Technically speaking, she was my mother, my legal guardian. I knew that people were entitled to stay quiet when it came to the prosecution of their spouse, but in this case, she couldn't. Because I was her child and my safety was in question, she couldn't.

I knew she wouldn't lie on the stand, but that didn't mean she couldn't dodge June's questions.

I just had to have faith that he knew what he was doing.

The jury was sworn in quickly. June and Charles's attorney had both gone back and forth, building a jury in their favor. We needed people that were sensitive to the safety of children, even if I was technically an adult now, while Charles needed people who sympathized with his method of parenting. Of course, neither June or Charles's attorney could get exactly what they wanted, but they sure tried.

I quickly realized just how long this trial might take. It took an hour alone for June to give his opening statement. Then Charles's attorney gave his, which was filled with bullshit and unfortunately, almost as long, before the judge said, "The prosecution may call its first witness."

I sat quietly in my chair as June called one of the police officers who'd been part of the investigation to the stand. June began to build his case, providing the jury with evidence of what my injuries were like, based on what the officer had seen. Charles's attorney questioned the same person, effectively diminishing his strong opinion of how serious my injuries had been. The attorney was obviously skilled at his job; I just hoped he and June were on the same level.

The day went on. June called my former neighbor to the stand, then Chaerin. June's questioning was pretty straight forward. He made it clear through Chaerin's testimony that Charles left me physically injured, with bruises and the limp I'd had when I visited her. Charles's attorney stepped up to cross-examine her when June was done, and I wasn't nervous until he strayed from the present to the past.

"So you've known Jennie for how long?"

"Somewhere around five years," Chaerin answered, shifting nervously as if she could anticipate where Charles's attorney was going. "I've known her since she was twelve."

"Because you were her foster parent for a couple of months, correct?"

"That's correct."

"What was Jennie like in those few months you parented her?"

Chaerin shot him an odd look. "Um, I don't know... like a normal teenager who's been through the system?"

"And how does a teenager that's been through the system typically act?"

"Objection, your honor," June interjected, standing up. The judge looked up, asking, "On what grounds?"

"Calls for an opinion," he answered quickly, to which Charles's attorney replied, "I'll rephrase."

He pulled on his tie, turning back to Chaerin. "Based on your experiences and observations as an adult that fosters children quite frequently, can you tell me how they are usually affected by their placement?"

"I can't generalize. Different children have different reactions to the different situations they're in."

"But typically," the attorney prodded, "what have you noticed?"

"Objection, relevance?"

"Sit down counselor," the judge said almost immediately. He briefly turned to Charles's attorney. "Get to the point."

Chaerin glared at him and sighed. "Typically they are troubled. Most of the children I've fostered came from pretty terrible homes, homes that drive them to steal, lie, use drugs... you name it. But Jen was never like that—"

"Has Jennie ever lied to you?"

"Objection—"

"Sit down counselor," the judge hostilely responded. June sighed, taking a seat next to me and letting himself fall quiet. Chaerin scratched the back of her head. "I don't see how that's relevant to this case..."

The judge spoke, "Answer the question please, Mrs. Lee."

"Yes," Chaerin forced out.

"Multiple times?"

"Yes."

I sunk farther into my seat, sighing. The attorney continued to question Chaerin, with an occasional objection from June that was immediately shut down by the judge every single time.

Charles's attorney paced back and forth. "Would you say Jennie was lonely?"

"I wouldn't say so, no, she had me and her two foster brothers around constantly."

"Did she ever pick fights with said foster brothers?"

"Fights?" Chaerin raised her eyebrows. "I don't think so..."

"Are you positive?"

Chaerin nodded her head, but made the slightest movement that was noticeable to, I'm sure, the entire courtroom. As if she was uncomfortable. As if she remembered, suddenly, that she had a different answer to his question. Charles's attorney spoke, "May I remind you, Mrs. Lee, that you are under oath—"

"Okay," Chaerin bit back, "Yes, she fought with Xavier, her foster brother. A few times at home, and... now that I think about it... twice.. at the school they went to.."

"Verbally or physically?"

Chaerin sighed. "Both."

"Why did the fights happen?"

"I... I don't know, I'm sure they had small disagreements, and neither of them were very good at controlling their tempers—"

"So Jen acted out a lot? Would you say she was rebellious?  Would you say she acted out for attention?"

"Rebellious? Maybe... But for attention? No, I wouldn't say so—"

"You wouldn't? Wouldn't you agree that it's a possibility Jen acted out in school to draw attention to herself? You said all she really had was you and her two foster brothers, do you think she wanted people to notice her and the only way for that to happen was for her to start fights?"

"Objection!" June all but screamed. "That's speculation!"

"Sustained," the judge said. "Rephrase or take a seat, Mr. Bates."

"I'll rephrase," he responded. "Mrs. Lee, you've spent a good bit of time in close quarters with Jennie. Have you not?"

"I have."

"So you know her well. Do you not?"

"I knew her well as a twelve year old, yes, but she's eighteen now."

"I understand," he responded. "But as a twelve year old, would you say that she could've acted out and refused to listen to you because it drew attention to herself?"

Chaerin sighed. "I suppose it's possible."

"So would you say it's possible that Jennie would take an innocent, loving father to court for something as simple as a little good-natured discipline, just for that attention she may crave?"

"No, I don't believe that. I saw the bruises..."

"Which could've been from anything, couldn't they have been?"

"Jen wouldn't lie to me about that."

"But she's lied to you before, hasn't she? What's stopping her from doing it again?"

"Nothing... I suppose... but—"

"Could it be possible that the bruises you saw weren't from my client?"

June began to interject, but it was too late. Chaerin sighed again and spoke softly, "I suppose, based on her track record, it's possible."

Charles's attorney re-situated his tie again. He nodded once towards Chaerin, once towards the judge, and then he headed towards his seat.

"Nothing further."

***

The next two days passed slowly. I was dreading the part of the trial where I had to get up on the stand, not because of June, but because Charles's attorney could be pretty brutal and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. The second day of the trial started off with Chaerin being questioned again by both sides, until Taemin took the stand for the rest of the day.

Charles's attorney did precisely the same thing to Taemin that he'd done to Chaerin. I tried to watch the jury members' expressions as the day went on, but they were all neutral and it left me feeling hopeless. On the third day, June brought a child psychologist to the stand.

"Dr. Marsh, would you mind telling the court some of the most common signs of child abuse?"

"Aside from the obvious? Like, bruises?"

"Yes, preferably."
"Well, there are quite a few. It's not uncommon for the child, or in this case the teen, to lose their self-confidence and enthusiasm. They tend to withdrawal from social settings... they seek affection, they detach from school, so their grades and social life usually suffer."

"Are there any other signs?"

The man scratched the back of his head, making a gesture with his hands. "Uh, change in behavior, I suppose, like aggression or hostility. Depression and anxiety are extremely common too, but it can be less obvious."

June nodded, asking a few more questions before bringing one of my teachers that claimed she noticed my mental absence during school to the stand. Jisoo's testimony that I had quite obviously withdrawn from our friendship in December finished off the week.
The trial picked back up on Monday, only I wasn't sitting next to June this time.

I was in the seat next to the judge and June was standing in front of me.

I took a deep breath, looking for Lisa. Our eyes met and she nodded her head slightly, trying to tell me that it was okay.

June began, "Just to clarify, what is your relationship with Mr. Charles Carter?"

"He's my adoptive father," I said, before muttering inaudibly, "unfortunately."

June gave me a disapproving look and shook his head slightly. "How long have you been adopted?"

"About three years now."

"How long has the abuse been happening?"

"About two years."

"What does Mr. Carter typically do that causes you pain or makes you uncomfortable?"

I took a deep breath. "Typically, he punches me. He.. pushes me against the wall. He smacks me across the face. He.. throws me.. He...." I swallowed my embarrassment, looking away from Lisa. "He's um.. threatened me, sexually. Twice, I think."

"What did you do when these things happened?"

"I'd push him away... or I'd try at least, but he's twice my size. He would get angry if I tried to stop him... and he would hit me harder."

"How hard?"

"Hard enough to leave bruises on my skin almost every time."

He nodded, spending the next hour getting into depth about the physical end of the abuse. After the lunch break, he brought me back up to the stand and took a different approach. "How did you typically feel after he hurt you?"

"Like... like I was an object, not a human. Like I didn't mean anything." I looked down, whispering, "Worthless."

When I looked up, I couldn't help but look at Lisa. She wasn't looking at me. Instead, she was staring at the back of Charles's head. Even from far away, I could tell her fists were clenched. She was obviously pissed at him, but when her eyes met mine, the anger faded away. I looked down because I couldn't bear to hold her gaze when she was looking at me like that.

June pressed, "So how has your adoptive father affected you emotionally?"

"Negatively," I answered simply, not wanting to go that into depth in front of everyone in the courtroom, and presumably, the world.

"Okay..." June trailed off. "How has he affected your social life?"

"Because of him," I responded, "I don't have a social life. He's a maniac and I've been afraid for the last three years that he'd hurt anyone I let into my life like he hurt me."

June nodded. He continued to question me, prompting me to talk about my withdrawal from everything around me, my anxieties, and worst of all, my depression. I had been depressed up until the summer before senior year and I couldn't lie about that, but June seemed to think it might help win our case.

When he had finally finished, Charles's attorney stood from his chair and walked towards me. He questioned me harshly, trying to get the jury to see that Charles's abuse had just been simple 'punishment' for my misbehavior. I could tell that some of jury members were actually believing his absolute bullshit, while some obviously sided with me. Others remained neutral.

Like June, Charles's attorney eventually moved away from the physical side of my abuse to the emotional. He questioned me for a while, effectively diminishing almost every point June had made by bringing the psychologist to the stand. He eventually asked, "You claim you were depressed when my client punished you, is that correct?"

"When he abused me, yes that's correct."

He raised his eyebrows. "And that's my client's fault? That you suffered from depression?"

I shifted nervously in my seat. "Yes."

"So you weren't depressed before you were adopted?"

I refrained from answering for a while, before I chewed on my bottom lip and sighed. "Well, I was, but—"

"So you were depressed before you even met my client?"

I glared at him. "Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't think the reason is really relevant to this case..."

"That's not up to you," the judge said, "please answer the question, Jennie."

"Fine," I forced through my gritted teeth. I answer vaguely, "Because I had a terrible childhood and quite frankly, nothing to be happy about."

"Why did you have a terrible childhood?"

"Because I didn't have a family.... Because I had really bad luck, I suppose. I lived in bad homes with no one around that cared about me—"

"So you felt like you were alone? You craved the attention of others?"

I mentally cursed myself. "I craved a family and friends that I could trust. I hate attention."

"You didn't have any friends?"

I glared at him. "No, not really."

"Have you ever had a friend that satiated your craving for people that you could trust?"

I took a deep breath. "Once or twice, yes."

"Who?"

"Taemin," I said, pausing and letting out the words, "and a girl I used to know."

"You're not friends with either of them anymore?"

I gritted my teeth. "I'm not friends with one of them, not that it's relevant at all to the fact that Charles is abusive."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't matter."

"If it's relevant to this case, then it does matter."

"It's not relevant to this case."

"Again," the judge interjected. "That's not up to you."

Charles's attorney pressed, "Why not, Jennie?"

"Because she's dead, okay?" I forced out, feeling the vile rise in my throat. My eyes shifted upwards, scanning over the crowd, and they involuntarily met Lisa's. I instantly looked away, regretting ever taking my eyes off the ground.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset," Charles's attorney said emotionlessly. "Tell me, when your friend passed, one of your only friends, did you find yourself feeling alone? Like you needed someone? Multiple people, perhaps, to pay attention to you?"

"I—"

"Perhaps this girl with great importance to you passing led you to take something like punishment and turn it into a felony like abuse?"

"No I—"

"Perhaps—"

June stood up, his seat flying back. "Objection your honor! He's badgering her! He won't even let her talk!"

The judge nodded as if to say something but Charles's attorney waved a hand. "You're right, excuse my insensitivity." He continued anyway. "Please tell me, Jennie, did your friend's death contribute to the mental instability you claim to have because of my client?"

I gripped the wood in front of me, letting out a shaky breath of air. "It's possible."

"So how can you claim that Charles Carter has had any affect on your mental state when, in fact, you were struggling long before you were adopted?"

I shook my head. "I....." My voice trailed off, eventually dying. I couldn't speak. I was too shaken up.

Charles's attorney nodded once, heading towards his seat. "Nothing further at this time."

***

When court ended that Monday evening, Lisa and I found ourselves at June and Ashley's house. June insisted that he and I spend more time going over how to hold my own against Charles's attorney. I desperately needed a break but I knew that my time on the stand was far from over. Lisa sat next to me silently, her hand moving back and forth on my back in an effort to soothe me. Eventually she and I escaped onto June's porch. She lied down on the hammock and tugged me on top of her, allowing the silence of the night to wrap its dark, constricting arms around us. At some point, my exhaustion overwhelmed me and I fell asleep.

I honestly expected my sleep to be restless, but somehow I slept well enough to dream. I looked down and I was holding a beautiful baby girl. She was smiling up at me and giggling every time I tickled her feet, in turn making me smile. I stared into strikingly familiar green eyes, and it was only when Lisa walked into the room that I realized whose eyes they reminded me of. Lisa pressed her lips to mine before taking the baby in her arms, putting a bottle in her mouth.

When she lifted her hand, I noticed the ring on her finger. I stared for a while until I tilted my head down and found that I had a ring on my finger too.

I opened my eyes a short while later, keeping my body still as I shifted my head slightly to look at the blonde under me. She was staring into the darkness, mindlessly rubbing circles on my back. I thought about the dream I'd just had, wondering what it meant. I'd never thought about anything like that while awake, and it was weird for me to be dreaming about something that seemed so... well, happy, but also.. unlikely.

I asked, "What are you thinking about?"

She looked down and her eyes met mine, reminding me of the way she had been looking at... the baby girl in my dream.

Our baby girl?

"You're awake," she said softly, surprised. I nodded, waiting for her to answer my question. She responded simply, "the future."

"What about it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know... just about what could happen. There are a lot of different ways things could play out, you know."

"Why are you thinking about the trial? We both do enough of that during the day."

"I'm not, I just meant in general. I was thinking about where my career is going... where my friendships are going.. where we're going."

"I had a dream about where we're going."

"You did, did you?"

I nodded, scrunching up my nose. "We were middle-aged." I paused, smirking. "Well you were middle-aged."

She looked down, rolling her eyes. "Ha-ha I'm old and it only gets worse from here, I know."

"You're missing the point," I responded, "you were middle aged. And we were still together."

Lisa's eyes lowered. She shifted in the hammock, a slight smile creeping onto her lips. I spoke again, "I was happy."

Her smile grew. "What did I say? All in good time. Eventually things will work out."

"Well it was just a dream."

"Sure it was. But it could also be our future."

I eyed her, running my thumb over the necklace she was wearing. "Sometimes I really hate your optimism, but I think I like it right about now."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

I nodded and she smirked, tilting her head. "So tell me, what were we doing in this dream?"

I decided to be blatantly honest. I didn't care if it came off too strong. "Caring for our baby."

Her eyes snapped to mine and she stared for a while, until the corners of her mouth twisted upwards. "Well how'd we manage to get one of those?"

"I don't know, but she had your eyes." I shifted a little, running my palm over her cheek. "And your beautiful face."

She smiled and blushed. "Stop it."

I shrugged, settling back into her chest. She squeezed my arm and spoke, "You know what seeing a baby in your dreams means, don't you?"

I shook my head and she continued, "They say it's a symbol of new possibilities, new chances, and... growth."

I eyed her for a while before answering, "You think my dream actually stands for something?"

"I don't know. I like to find meaning in a lot of things, and I guess that includes dreams. I don't like believing that anything in life is meaningless. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," I answered simply, lifting my head up and pressing my lips to hers. "God I love you."

A smile crept onto her face. "I love you too."

She kissed my forehead and I let my head lie on her chest again. We both eventually drifted off to sleep, but before I lost consciousness, I couldn't help but think.

If everything in life had a meaning, what was mine?

What did I mean?

What was my purpose?

***

After two more painstakingly long days ago of being questioned, I could finally retake my seat next to June. It was clear that Charles wasn't going to testify considering he didn't have to and I think everyone involved knew that doing so would be far from beneficial to him. June would annihilate him in his cross-examination and he would probably lose the case automatically.

But he and his attorney knew that Cate had no choice in testifying, so why not use her to their advantage?

She was, of course, willing.

Charles's attorney brought Cate to the stand first. He started off with the basics, as usual: her relation to Charles and I, her experiences with me as both a step-mom and an adoptive parent, her experiences with Charles. After a little while, he questioned her, "So, Mrs. Carter, you've lived with Charles and Jennie for how long?"

"I've lived with Charles for eleven years now, but with both of them, about three. From the moment we adopted her to the moment she moved out."

"When was this?"

Cate rubbed her neck. "September, I believe. Then she came home for a little bit in December and left again a short while after."

"She came home voluntarily?"

"Yes, that's correct."

Charles's attorney nodded, making his point without having to say anything else. He moved on. "Do you consider yourself to be a decent person?"

Cate seemed a little off-put. "Well... well yes, I'd like to think so."

"Do you consider your husband to be a decent person?"

"Of course."

"Do you consider parents that are physically abusive to their children to be decent people?"

Cate shook her head. "No, absolutely not."

"How would you describe your husband as a father at the start of Jennie's adoption through to the present?"

"Well," Cate responded, "when I first mentioned to him that I wanted to adopt Jennie and I wanted him to be her legal adoptive father too, he was so happy. Honest to god, I'd never seen it before. He said he'd always wanted a kid and he'd love to, especially if it was to get my, well former, stepdaughter out of the foster system."

"So Charles was enthusiastic about the adoption?"

"Of course. He welcomed her into our home and told her that we would do our best to provide her with everything she needed. He bought her new clothes, a cell phone, anything she asked for. He'd make us all breakfast every single day and drive Jennie to school. I thought, think, he makes a great father. We really were, well, a happy family."

"At what point did you start to sense resentment between the two?"

"Probably after we punished her for the first time."

"Why and how did you punish her?"

"Well, a couple days beforehand she lied to us about where she was going to be and we let is slide, but then she stole from us. After Charles and I had been nothing but generous to her, she stole. Charles paced around in our bedroom for probably hours trying to figure out what to do. His dad had favored physical punishment for extreme misbehavior and Charles, having experienced it first hand, thought it could be good for Jennie to be disciplined for probably the first time in her life."

I lie. I steal. I'm a delinquent. I'm a terrible person.

Hell, I guess Cate figured I should be the one on trial here, right? I'm the one who deserved to be punished. Not Charles. No, of course not.

Charles was an angel.

"Did Charles ever punch her?"

"I've never seen him do that, and I've never seen the bruises Jennie claims to have from him either. I know that Charles has reprimanded her a few times, but he had all good intentions, he's never broken the law, and he certainly hasn't committed a felony."

Charles's attorney nodded, asking a few more questions that made me want to bang my head against the table, literally, until either my ears started ringing so loudly that I couldn't hear them anymore, or until I passed out. Either would work as long as I didn't have to listen to Cate's crap anymore.

By the time he had finished, it was around one in the afternoon and the trial was put on pause for lunch. I slid out of my seat, leaning against the table and closing my eyes briefly. When I opened them, Lisa was whispering to June a little ways away from me. She turned and met my gaze, immediately breaking their conversation and heading towards me.

She stopped a couple of feet in front of me, a safe distance, searching my eyes. I said simply, "Has your opinion of me changed yet?"

She shook her head. "Not in the slightest."

Some part of me didn't believe it, but I stayed quiet anyway. Eventually I planned to speak, but a tap on my shoulder made me turn away from Lisa. I saw Laila, Lia's mom, standing there shyly. I was surprised to see her, and it quite clearly showed on my face.

She chuckled softly. "Yeah I'd be surprised to see me too." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Hi."

"Uh.... hello.."

"I... um, I hope you don't mind, I... I thought it might be nice if I were here to support you. Today was the first day I could get off of work."

"Wow.. that's um..." I couldn't speak. It was odd. Laila showing up for me, a girl she didn't even know. The feeling inside of my chest was odd. What was that?

"Thank you," I finally said. "I appreciate that."

For a second, I wondered if Lia was here too. Laila seemed to notice. "I wasn't sure if you wanted Lia to know about this or not... is why she isn't here with me. I'm sure... you get enough pity, it's probably nice to talk to someone like her who has no knowledge of what's been going on."

"Yeah... wow, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I'm sorry, this um, this just means a lot to me. Especially that you thought about how telling Lia would affect me..." I shook my head, swallowing. "Wow."

She seemed to smile. "It's.. it's nothing. You're Lia's sister and I would like to be at least a small part of your life if you'll let me... so I didn't want to miss an opportunity to support you."

I stared at her, thinking about her words from a little while ago. It's not too late to be a part of our family...

My spirits lifted.

I spoke, "I'm going to grab something to eat from that place down the street, would you.. maybe want to join me?"

Laila nodded eagerly. I let June know where I was going and let my eyes run over Lisa's face, silently letting her know I'd be thinking of her. The hour that Laila and I spent together was free-spirited, easy, light. The weight of the trial, or at least some of it, seemed to lift off my shoulders by the time I had finished talking to her. I eventually had to take my seat next to June again, but I had a new sense of rejuvenation.

June immediately took his place in front of Cate. His cross-examination was absolutely brutal and Cate was far from prepared for it. I could tell that some of the jury members who had seemed skeptical of my testimony were starting to sense that things weren't all adding up.

"Do you recall having any conversations with Jennie regarding Charles and his physical punishment?"

"Um, maybe?"

"Maybe? You either do or you do not, Mrs. Carter. In December, when Jennie returned home as you claimed, do you recall the conversation that you had with her?"

"You'll have to be more specific. We spoke more than once."

"The conversation you had when her social worker left the house. Do you remember it?"

"Some of it, yes."

"Do you remember addressing your husband's drinking problem?"

There were murmurs in the crowd of spectators behind me. Cate frowned. "I suppose so."

"So you admit that your husband has a drinking problem?"

"He has, yes. But—"

"And are you aware that using physical punishment on a child while under the influence is very illegal?"

"Of course I know that. But Charles's drinking isn't a problem anymore and it hasn't been for a while. I've been taking him to AA meetings and he hasn't picked up alcohol in half a year."

"How about before that half a year, when Jennie was living with you? Was he drinking then?"

"I'm sure he had a beer or two a couple nights a week."

"Has he ever been under the influence while reprimanding your adoptive daughter?"

"I have never been present while Charles punishes Jennie, but no, not to my knowledge."

"You have never been present? If that's the case Mrs. Carter, how do you know the extent of what your husband does when he punishes your adoptive daughter?"

"Because we're honest with each other, he tells me—"

"He tells you what happens? So you're basing your testimony off of what Mr. Carter has claimed to have done instead of what he's actually done?"

"What he's claimed to have done is the same as what he's actually done."

"How could you possibly know that when you've never witnessed this supposed interaction between Jennie and your husband?"

"I just do!"

June, who I could tell had been looking at the jury members out of the corner of his eye, backed off a bit. He seemed relatively satisfied, but he wasn't done. He pressed Cate until she was an absolute mess. At this point, nothing that came out of her mouth added up with the rest of her testimony.

When that day ended, I felt okay. I was beyond pissed at Cate, beyond pissed, but I had spent some time with the woman that had raised my sister and not only that, but June had diminished so much of Cate's credibility. I found myself in the hallway outside the courtroom when the day was done, standing next to June as he spoke on the phone. I told him I was going to go wait in his car, and as I turned around, I came face to face with a small, cowardly blonde woman that I could've done without seeing right now.

Cate stopped suddenly, her eyes going wide as she struggled with what to say to me.

I made it easy for her. "We're done, Cate."

Her brow creased. "What?"

"You could put him away easily. You know what he's done. You know that I live every single day wondering whether or not I'm safe. You know I'm fucked up in the head because of him. But you'd rather be selfish and lie under oath, letting a bad man walk away free than find your bullshit love somewhere else."

She shook her head, looking down and whispering, "I didn't lie about anything..."

My nostrils flared as I controlled myself, took a step back, and told myself that it wasn't worth it. Cate wasn't worth it.

So I said, "Have a nice life," and then I walked away.

***

The trial lasted thirteen days. When June ran out of people to bring to the stand, Charles's attorney decided that there was one person that still needed to testify. He'd already done the damage, he didn't need to present a case because all he needed to do was prove that June didn't have one:

But he brought Bianca to the stand anyway.

As if the jury's opinion of me hadn't already been presumably bad, Bianca made it so much worse. I didn't think it was possible to have so many negative things to say about someone. But she did, and she did it in a way that was relevant to the case.

Charles's attorney had done his job. June's closing statement was strong but so was the attorney's and my hope had honestly flown completely out the window. Everyone most likely saw me as a girl that needed eyes on her, a girl that needed people to feel sorry for her.

I had exaggerated Charles's abuse.

I had made it up entirely.

Surely that's what the jury believed.

Surprisingly to me, it took an entire day, and a half, to reach a verdict. When they called us back into court, I realized that I could hardly hear anything that the judge was saying because my heart was beating so loudly.

He eventually said, "Will the jury foreperson please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?"

A woman stood, and I braced myself for her to say yes, and then follow it up with the news that Charles was innocent.

But she didn't do either of those things.

She said, "No your honor, we have not. We cannot reach a unanimous decision."

My head shot up as the people behind me started whispering loudly. The judge banged his gavel, spewing out a bunch of words that I could hardly hear. Eventually I heard the word 'mistrial' leave his mouth and he eventually dismissed court.

I slowly turned to June, who looked baffled. I lowered my voice and asked, "Mistrial?"

June just nodded.

"What does this mean?"

He bit his cheek, shaking his head. "That we have to do this again."

I let my mouth fall open as I leaned back in my seat. I couldn't. I couldn't do this again.
I shook my head immediately, "No.... I.. I can't. June... I can't do this again..."

He let out a heavy breath, meeting my eyes. "I know."

"Please tell me there's something we can do."

He eyed me hard. "We can offer Charles another plea deal, this time one that he'll take."

"What would it be?"

June sighed. "We'd have to lower the charge to a misdemeanor."

I tightened my jaw. "That's less than a year in prison."

"Probably a lot less," he mumbled, before adding, "but it's something and it means you don't have to do this again. I know you want Charles to pay for what he did to you and less than a year doesn't cut it but if we go to trial again and the verdict is not guilty, then he won't be punished at all, and I don't think you want that, do you?"

I was clearly at a loss for words, but June pressed anyway.

"So, what do you want to do?"