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tw: homophobia

november 23, saturday

i stared at the ceiling, stretched out on the bed, biting my lip anxiously.

billie kept texting me, asking when i wanted to meet. yesterday, before i'd left, she'd made me give her my phone so she could send me a text through her number, because she thought i'd never text her any other way.

i was a little nervous to be alone with her for the first time. i mean, she knows i'm her soulmate, obviously.

pushing these thoughts out of my head, i sat up, glancing out the window. the sky was dark with heavy rain clouds, and i could see the wind rocking the trees.

i sighed. i did not particularly want to walk to billies' house, or wherever we were meeting, in that weather, but i didn't really have a choice.

i picked up my phone, unlocked it, and scrolled through the texts.

billie

hey angel, you up yet?

billie

where do you wanna meet?

billie

and when?

billie

best for me if you just come over but i can make anything work

billie

allliiieeee?

billie

did we wear you out that much yesterday? lmao

rolling my eyes, i typed a reply, glancing at the time (it was 9:30), and ignoring the two latter messages.

alaska

how is 11? i can come over there if that's best for you, i don't have any other plans today or anything

billie

yeah that works. if my brother answers the door, just ask him where i am.

alaska

aight

i sucked in my teeth then went to get out of bed, setting my phone down then grabbing my clothes and heading straight to the bathroom.

after a quick shower, i put on the plain black hoodie with the words 'i love you like crazy' in white small print on the front, and some dark grey sweatpants.

i couldn't find my phone when i went back in my room. i put my sleep clothes away and glanced around one more time, confused, but i didn't see it so i went downstairs to get some breakfast.

i found out where my phone went as soon as i entered the dining room. my foster mom was sitting at the table while scrolling through it. she looked up when she saw me, beckoning me over with a not-so-happy look on her face.

i was confused. i didn't use my phone for much other than texting, what did my mom want with it.

i went to stand next to her, seeing my texts with billie open.

shit.

 "uh, hey? what's up?" i asked hestitantly.

"who is this? your girlfriend?" she got straight to the point, no sugar-coating. her words were harsh, and when she said 'girlfriend' her voice was full of disgust.

"uh, no, she's my-my partner for a writing project," i mumbled. i could feel tears already pricking my eyes.

"then what's with all the pet names? hm? didn't your father and i tell you numerous times to wait until you find your soulmate?" her voice was dangerously low and angry. i gulped.

"er, yeah, but mum-"

 she cut me off again. "alaska rae, how many times do i have to tell you? God doesn't accept gays, and neither do we! wait for your soulmate, your proper, male soulmate, don't go running off with school players,"

i was seriously struggling to hold back my tears now. "mom, she is my soulmate!" my voice was choked. i was dying to yell her that it said multiple times in the bible that He loves you no matter what. i wish i could tell you i stood up to her, but that wasn't the case.

she gaped at me for a second, then snatched my wrist roughly, pulling up the sleeve enough to see the black name there.

she spat in disgust, but i knew even she wouldn't fight against a soulmate pair.

she shoved my arm back at me, then stared at the wall for a moment, seemingly contemplating something.

finally, she sighed and shook her head. "bring her over for dinner tomorrow. 6:30," 

with this said, she handed me back my phone and i ran upstairs, beginning to hyperventilate.

700 words, unchecked.

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