Casual Sabotage

Chapter Twenty-Two

Caleb and I weren't settled for very long. He was soon slithering down my body and taking my shaft in his hand. He enclosed his lips around the tip and let his fist curl around me, stroking slowly and building in pace. I groaned loudly and rested my head back against the pillows as I moved a hand down to his hair, playing softly with the curls atop of his head.

I was quick to fall under his touch, slipping my eyes shut as he took more of me and sent me tumbling into ecstasy. The further he delved, the deeper I fell. I arched my back and grabbed a fistful of his hair; in the darkness of my closed eyes, the image of Brian soon appeared, replacing Caleb in front of me. I was too lost in the moment that I did the unthinkable.

"Oh, Brian..." The words fell from my lips before I could even contemplate what I was saying.

Immediately, the touch fell away and I opened my eyes. Raising my head up, my gaze fell onto Caleb at the foot of the bed; his mood had drastically changed from the minutes before. He looked at me emotionlessly, which I must admit was pretty unnerving to be on the receiving end of.

"What did you just say?" He asked, sounding irritated.

"Uhm..." I hesitated. "Oh, Caleb?"

Caleb made a face at me. "Did I not say that?"

"No, Sal." He complained. "You didn't say that. You said Brian. Do you want to tell me what's going on now or are we going to have this out until you admit to what I'm already accusing you of inside of my head right now?"

"I don't know what you mean, Cal." I shrugged, only making matters worse.

Caleb huffed and jolted himself away from me, he leaned over the end of the bed and retrieved his clothes, throwing them back on. "Cal? Talk to me."

"What is there to talk about?" He shot back, keeping his back to me. "It's obvious why you said his name."

Caleb stood and pulled his pants on, tightening the elastic waistband around him. "I can't believe I fell for it all this time."

"Fell for what?" I confused.

"Quit with the lies, Sal." Caleb grunted at me. "I seriously thought that nothing had happened between you that night, that my anxiety was making up scenarios in my head. But clearly it was all a lie."

He scoffed to himself. "I trusted you."

"Caleb, listen to me." I tried reaching for his arm but he took a step back. "I don't know what you're insinuating right now, but it's not true."

"Do you think I was born yesterday, Sal?" He argued. "I know that you and Brian have been sleeping together behind my back. You've been cheating on me this whole time!"

"No, yes...I don't know." I vacillated. "I didn't mean to..."

Caleb rolled his eyes at me. "Oh, what. So, you just happened to fuck Brian instead of me?"

"No." I sighed. "He's...I don't know...Brian has this way about him. I couldn't resist him. I tried so hard, Cal. I swear!"

"Oh yeah," He shouted. "It's so hard to keep your dick in your pants, Sal!"

I flinched at the volume of his voice. "How long has this been going on for?"

"A few months..." I admitted ashamedly.

"And at what point were you going to tell me that you didn't love me anymore?"

"I do love you!" I insisted.

"You have a funny way of showing it!" Caleb erupted. "How could you fucking do this to me? After everything that we've been through together! Do these last three years mean nothing to you?"

"They mean everything to me!" I declared. "I promise, Cal! It all happened so quick and...and..."

I was struggling to fight for my corner. "...it was so hard to just say no to him."

"So, it was always Brian's idea?" Caleb wondered.

"I...no," I couldn't keep up the deceitfulness anymore. I had to come clean. "I sometimes asked him over. He tried to stop things when he found out about you, but I continued it."

Caleb sat on the end of the bed and held his head in his hands. A painful silence came between us before his sniffles were like daggers being pushed deeper into my back, twisting their way harder into the guilt overwhelming me in the moment.

"I'm sorry." I apologised. "I never meant for this to happen."

"Tell me," Caleb suddenly commented, looking back at me with tear-stained eyes. "Was he here while I was away?"

I stared into his ocean blue eyes, feeling my heart shatter inside of my chest. I could feel my own tears begin to fill my eyes as my lower lip trembled. "Sal. Was Brian here while I was in Idaho?"

"Yes." I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

"Okay," Caleb nodded, surprisingly calm. "And when he was here, what did you two do?"

"We talked." I started to explain. "We watched TV, played some video games..."

"And?" He pressed.

"And had sex." I confessed.

"How many times?" Caleb questioned.

I suppressed the tears and shook my head, finding it hard to talk. "How many times did you have sex, Sal?"

"Five." I cried. "One of those times was when I was talking to you."

"Okay..." Caleb was piecing together the information for himself and coming to terms with how badly I had betrayed him. "When we were having phone sex, he was here. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes." I acknowledged. "He went down on me."

"What about the other four times?" He asked. "Were they his idea or yours?"

"A mixture." I disclosed. "We were both to blame. But I do admit that I was the one who suggested to have sex first."

The question that followed was one that I wasn't expecting; it cut into me hard. Caleb looked at me properly for the first time since he had found out. All I could see was the hurt, anger and deep sorrow buried inside of his eyes.

"Do you love him?" Caleb challenged. When I didn't respond, he asked again. "Sal, do you love Brian?"

"I do." I nodded, crying harder.

"Do you love me?" He followed.

"I do." I sobbed. "I can't lose either of you."

"I see." Caleb accepted, standing to his feet once more. "Excuse me."

I watched him leave through the bedroom doorway, soon hearing the front door shut with a slam behind him. I didn't know where he had gone or how long he was going for. I didn't know if Caleb was going to ever come back. My actions were finally receiving their consequences and I had no one else to blame but myself. I had played this game of love and lust for too long; it was difficult to keep the charade up and lie about how much trouble I had caused.

Forcing myself from the bed, I got dressed and headed into the living area. Retrieving my phone, I unlocked the device and was quick to open up my messages. Without thinking clearly, I sent Brian a text, asking him if I could come over to see him. There was no surprise when he replied back with a yes.