Casual Sabotage

Chapter Twenty-Four

The crying had drawn all energy from me. I had fallen asleep on the sofa, only waking when the sound of the front door slamming shut brought me out of my dream state. Looking across the room, I watched as Caleb blanked me and headed straight into the bedroom. I could hear the sound of our closet door slamming and suitcases being unzipped. I knew that I had to face him at some point or another. Sighing heavily to myself, I made my way down the hall to the bedroom doorway, knocking gently at the wooden frame to gain his attention.

"Knock, knock," I smiled, trying to show that I had no anger or resentment to him leaving. "Can I come in?"

Caleb looked at me, but didn't utter a single word in response. Instead, he continued to pack his belongings. "Cal? I know that you're mad at me and I completely understand why. I messed up badly and don't deserve your forgiveness."

He continued to act as though I wasn't in the room with him. "But we have to at least talk about this, right? You always said to never go to bed angry with each other. What does this mean for us?"

"What is there to even talk about, Sal?" Caleb questioned defeatedly. "You cheated on me with some ex-boyfriend that you were still hung up on from high school; how do you think that makes me feel?"

"I can't imagine the pain that I have caused for you." I replied back.

"You lied to me from the very beginning. Could you not trust me? Was that it? Or was I just some rebound fuck to help you get over Brian?" Caleb had every right to be angry with me. "And not only did you cheat on me with Brian, but when I confronted you about it, you denied it. Do you really think that I was that stupid?"

"I know." I couldn't think of anything else to say that wouldn't make the situation worse between us. "I should never have pursued things with Brian. It was dumb and the worst mistake that I have ever made. I should have been honest with you from the start."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying my best to explain myself. "I never should have lied to you and pretended that you were my first. I was just so hurt from the past that I felt like I had to protect myself from going through the same thing."

"Oh, so you put me through this shit instead?" He complained. "Thanks a lot, Sal."

"I'm sorry, Caleb. I really am." I apologised.

"If it ended so badly with Brian the first time, why did you continue with it this time?" He was curious to know. "I mean, was I not good enough for you? What did I do so wrong that it sent you running into his arms?"

"You did nothing wrong, Caleb." I didn't hesitate in my response. "But Brian has this way about him. He's addictive and he manages to seduce anyone that he wants to get his hands on."

Caleb rolled his eyes at my words, but it was all true. "I have no excuse as to why I did what I did. It was wrong of me to even think of another man when I have you. But at the same time, there's a lot of history between Brian and I."

"I'm listening," Caleb commented, moving to sit at the end of the bed. "What is the history between you two then?"

"What do you want to know?" I confused.

"Everything." He shrugged, clearly irritated.

"Brian was my first everything." I admitted. "Our time in high school together was an experience but he taught me a lot of things. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first...well, you get the idea."

I swallowed hard. "The break up that we had ruined me. For years I blamed myself and to finally have that closure made me realise that I needed him in my life. As a friend."

Caleb scoffed at that last sentence and rolled his eyes in disbelief. I brushed off the shitty attitude and continued to explain my side of things. "When I saw him that night at the comedy club, all those feelings of security came flooding back to me and I needed to heal old wounds."

"This has been happening since then?" Caleb asked, sounding hurt.

"The communication did, yes, but not the rest of it." I reassured. "Brian and I started hanging out together as friends, until one thing led to another and we hooked up at his place."

I wasn't proud of my behaviour. "After that, we knew that it was wrong to continue, but there was this undefinable need...this addiction...of having each other. Things escalated. We were so invested in the affair that we started to lose track of our lies and discrepancies."

"And then you said his name while in bed with me." Caleb finished for me.

"Exactly." I sighed. "Caleb, I truly am sorry for the hurt that I have caused you. I love you dearly, you need to trust me on that."

"You make that kind of hard to believe, Sal." He scoffed.

"How can I prove it to you?" I wondered.

"There's only one way that I can believe that, Sal." He commented.

"Which is what?" I asked. "Anything. I'll do it."

"We get married." Caleb offered. "Tonight. At that 24/7 wedding chapel."

"M-Married?" I stammered. "I...are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He puzzled. "I feel like it's the only way I'm going to see how dedicated you are to loving me."

"Married?" I questioned again. "I...guess so."

Was I thinking clearly? Probably not, but I was willing to do anything to fix this mess between Caleb and I. "We can get married."

"And you're not allowed to contact Brian again." Caleb added.

And there it was. The stab in the heart that I should have known was coming. It would have been way too easy for him to just ask for marriage without a cherry on top. Looking at Caleb, I knew that I had a decision to make.

"Okay." I accepted softly. "I will marry you tonight and I will not contact Brian again if it means that I get to keep you."

"You reek of desperation, Sal." Caleb pointed out. "I guess you really do mean it."

"Can I at least tell him what's happening beforehand?" I questioned. "That's the last time I will ever talk to him, I promise."

"Fine." He caved. "Meet me at the chapel in an hour and not a moment later. Do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." I nodded.

Unpacking his clothes, Caleb left me to it as I dashed out of the apartment and back over to Brian's place. I felt as though I was running around like a headless chicken, but this was important. He needed to know the reason why I couldn't speak to him anymore. I felt that I at least owed Brian that. Right?

I've never driven so fast in my life, but I only had an hour to tell someone who I loved with every last inch of my heart that we couldn't see each other anymore. I could only hope that Brian would understand the situation that I was in. Who am I kidding? He wasn't going to take this news very well at all.