Casual Sabotage

Chapter Twenty-Five

Hammering at Brian's front door, I didn't even have time to feel the guilt that I may have woken him up from his sleep. But this was important. Brian needed to know what was happening and I didn't want him finding out through anyone else. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision or not when marrying Caleb, but my logic was that I had lost Brian before...I could lose him again, right?

The front door to his apartment slowly pulled open, when I was met by Brian dressed in a shirt and boxers, with his hair a tousled mess. He looked at me confusingly through tired eyes as he scratched at his head.

"Sal?" He wondered. "What the hell are you doing back here?"

"Brian, we need to talk." I replied. "Urgently."

He ushered me inside and closed the door behind me. I sat down on the sofa and turned to look at him as Brian soon joined me. "I'm not allowed to see you anymore."

"What?" He confused.

"Caleb said that the only way for me to prove to him that I love him was to say that I wouldn't see you anymore." I explained sadly.

"Oh..." Brian seemed to take the news better than I expected. "So, that means that you love Caleb more than you love me."

"No," I tried to deny. "Brian, I have to do this. I love you, I really do, but this was wrong from the very start. We both knew that."

"But it feels like I've only just got you back, Sal." Brian frowned. "I didn't mind that you were still with him because even having the time that we did together was enough for me. I can't have you out of my life, Sal."

He sniffled. "Please rethink this?"

"Brian, I can't." I admitted. "You know I'd do anything to make that happen but it's just not that easy."

"So, lose Caleb and stay with me." He was beginning to grow frustrated. "I'll give you everything he is right now. No. I'll double it. I'll marry you if that's what you want."

"But that's not what you want." I sighed. "Why would you force yourself into a marriage that you're not ready for?"

"Because that's just how much I love you, Sal." Brian argued. "I will do anything to see you happy."

"Brian..." I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I had already accepted Caleb's ultimatum.

"What does he have that I don't?" He asked. "If it's the romance side of it, I'll work on it! Sal, please think about this before you give him an answer."

"Brian, I already said yes to him." I revealed.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, hurt more to me than seeing Brian's face fall in that very moment. It was a conjuncture of pain, betrayal and complete brokenness. I felt guilty. I was guilty. But I couldn't go back on my word to Caleb now. For so long I had put off making a decision; I let the wounds deepen and fester until things exploded into the fine mess all three of us were in now.

"Get out." Brian instructed bluntly. "Get out of my house."

"Brian, please just let me explain." I was growing desperate now to make the most of our time together.

"Why should I?" He shouted. "All you've done these past few months is messed with my feelings, Sal! Fuck you. Seriously. You wanted me to change so badly and I was willing to do all that for you, just for you to go ahead and fuck me over anyway!"

"It's not like that!" I insisted. "Brian, will you just listen to me for one second!"

"What? So, I can hear 'Caleb said this, Caleb said that'. No, Sal. I want you out of here!" He fumed.