Casual Sabotage

Chapter Eighteen

After spending so many days at my place, Brian and I opted to head over to his for a couple of days to give us both a change of scenery. I had packed enough clothes to last me, not that Brian had said I would be needing any if he had his way with things. Clothes to him are just, and I quote, 'a delay in getting your body against mine'.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and I had gone for a nap in the bedroom, leaving Brian to entertain himself for an hour or two. It gave us some time away from each other, which was often a good thing. We didn't want to have any reciprocations of previous problems. I made my way down the hall to use the bathroom, washed my hands (obviously) and headed for the living area. I could hear repetitive video game sound effects and fingers clearly smashing at the controller buttons.

Sure enough, once in the doorway, I came to find Brian playing Call of Duty on his Xbox. He was perched on the edge of the sofa with his gaming headset on, focusing heavily on the TV screen in front of him. His hands were lightning fast as his player ran, dodged and slid all over the map. Looking closer, I could see the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his lips in concentration – which admittedly, was pretty cute.

"Hey," I greeted, taking a seat beside him.

"Hey," Brian replied back distractedly.

"Having fun?" I wondered.

"Yeah, the other team suck." He chuckled, not tearing his eyes away from the TV. "Did you have a good nap?"

"It was pretty average." I shrugged. "Your bed always was lumpy."

"Yeah..." Brian acknowledged. "I should probably buy a new one."

He shot me a quick glimpse after his character had died and was waiting to respawn. "What else did you do?"

"Not much...just slept and used the bathroom." I answered.

"Did you leave the seat up?" He questioned.

"No, I'm not an animal, Brian." I laughed at him.

"Just checking." He smirked, still playing his game. "So...you did nothing else then?"

"No." I repeated. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Just wondering if you cranked one out over me." He teased.

"Not over you, hell no." I played, getting the reaction out of the man that I wanted. Brian paused his game and turned to face me. He shot me an offended expression but I could tell that he wasn't being serious with me.

"Now that hurt." He frowned. "Am I not jack off material for you, Sal?"

"Nah," I mocked, soon gaining a playful punch to the side as I laughed.

"Lie all you want to, Babe, but I know you too well by now." He jested. "I am so someone you touch yourself over."

He resumed his game. "Repeatedly."

"Yeah, sounds about right." I admitted, scooting closer to him on the sofa.

While he was playing, I cuddled into his side as Brian moved his arm up and over me and leaned back. I watched him play for a little while longer, just enjoying the time together before things were to return back to normal. A heavy sigh reluctantly fell from my lips, gaining the attention of the man against me.

"That was a big sigh," He notified. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." I excused. "Just enjoying this time with you."

"You know, while you're down there, you wouldn't want to give me some head..." Brian suggested as I looked up to frown at him. "I take that as a no then."

"It's a no." I reassured without hesitation, sitting up. "Can I play too?"

"Sure." Brian smiled, pointing across to the TV cabinet. "The spare controller is in the bottom drawer."

I collected the second controller, soon returning back to the sofa as Brian loaded up a 1v1 game for us to play. "Now, I must warn you that I am a pro at this game."

"That's what you think." I scoffed whimsically. "Just you wait and see."

"Sal, Honey, just trust me on this one." Brian stated. "There's no way that you can—"

My bullet was sent tearing through his character's head seconds into the game starting. "—beat me..."

Brian looked confused at what had happened. I cleared my throat and looked at him smugly. "You were saying, Brian?"

"Alright, alright, why don't we just settle down." He proposed. "That was just beginner's luck."

I went on to kill his character another three times in a row, each time watching as Brian's gamer rage increased. He was determined not to let me – a complete noob – beat him on my first go. I couldn't help but laugh at him and soon Brian managed to see the funny side of things too. He ended losing to me, but I'm pretty sure that he let me win in the end.

Settling my controller down onto the coffee table, I turned to look at Brian as he pulled me into his embrace and kissed at the top of my head. There was just something about being in his arms that made me feel secure and out of harm's way. I could feel him drawing light circles along my lower back as we sat in silence, just appreciating the company of each other.

"I don't want these two weeks to come to an end, Sal." Brian revealed after some time.

"But they have to." I insisted reluctantly. "I love Caleb, Brian."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed heavily. "We shouldn't even be together right now. I feel like I'm in the way."

"You're not." I reassured. "Brian, this is all on me. I don't want you to blame yourself."

"Kind of hard not to." He replied solemnly. "Here I am falling for you all over again knowing full well that you're going to be returning to him in a matter of days."

"I'm sorry that it can't be how it used to be." I apologised sincerely.

"I deserve it." He accepted. "I should never have given up my chance of having you. That's been the biggest mistake of my life, Sal."

"You don't deserve it, Brian." I denied, shaking my head as I sat up to look at him properly. "You deserve to be happy, to be loved and appreciated for the way that you are."

"But my happiness is with you, Sal." Brian expressed tearfully. "It's the smile on your face, the loving feeling of when we cuddle, the tenderness of your kisses and the passion in the sex. It all adds up to you."

He wiped at his eyes. "I don't know if I can find that with anyone else."

"You can." I promised. "Maybe we shouldn't have spent so much time together recently...I should go."

"No." Brian panicked as he grabbed hold of my hand to stop me from moving. "Please don't go now."

"What about Caleb?" I confused, not knowing what my heart wanted anymore.

"What about him?" Brian countered, placing a finger under my chin and pulling my gaze onto his. "It's just you and me right now."

He leaned in closer and kissed me tenderly, only adding to the confusion. One minute he was regretting getting in the way, the next he was leading me on. I didn't know what to do or say anymore; my feelings for both Caleb and Brian were too extreme now for me to make a sensible choice without hurting someone deeply.