Eladea

Chapter 27

Uh

Sorry

*unedited*
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Sage's POV

I watch with dull eyes as I slowly, mindlessly scrub the rust colored liquid, now dried, off of my hands. It was almost mesmerizing how the slow current whisked the red substance away, morphing it, swirling it into beautiful patterns that greatly contrasted to the crystal clear water of the stream before me.

I didnt bother with the stuff that was on my arms, my shirt and my pants. I just focused on my hands. Only my hands. The stuff was already three days old. I hadnt had the energy to scrub it off until now. I tried not to think about what it was. It made it too real.

Blood.

His blood. It was too painful. Too painful to imagine where the blood had come from. But no matter how hard a tried, I couldnt get his face out of my mind. Those beautiful stormy eyes, lifeless.

I tried not to look at my reflection in the water, but it was hard not to. Large bags had formed under my eyes. My hair was matted and dirty. My skin was pale and my eye sockets were sunken in. My normally forest green eyes were more of a dull grey. Blood was soaked on the lower half of my shirt and all over my pants. I looked horrible I knew. But I could care less.

I think what surprised me the most was the fact I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was just...numb. Like my mind was detached from my body. I was just floating from day to day. For the last seventy-two hours I've been doing nothing but sitting under a tree and staring at the ground. But for every one of those hours I expected to hear footsteps approaching. I expected that amazing irish laced voice to tease me. I expected to see a black matted head out of the corner of my eye. But it never came. It wouldnt. Ever again.

I had sat there for three days. No sleep, no water, no food. But the world kept moving. The sun still rose and set. The moon still made it's way across the night sky. The stars still came and dissapeared. Even now, under a sapphire sky, flowers bloomed, birds chirped, it was judt like every other day. Like nothing had happened. No life had been ended, and no life had been changed.

I knew any logical person would he angry about this. Angry that the world moved on. But I didnt. I couldnt. Was there someting wrong with me? After that fateful day I hadnt shed one tear. Everyone talked about the "5 stages of grief" yet, I dont feel like ove felt any of them. I mean, for three days I havnt felt anything, much less "denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance."

I finally take my hands out of the stream, but I dont get up. I dont have the energy to. Will I ever have the energy again? Will it always be like this? Will I never feel again?

You could have saved him.

No...no not now please. Please no.

It's your fault he's dead. Your too weak to protect him.

Stop. Stop it. Please stop.

In fact, if you think about it. It's your fault he's dead.

Oh goddesses stop...

Ironically, if you think about it, you killed-

Dont you say his name. As the goddesses as my witness I swear-