In My Mind

Let's See (Missy Elliott x Erica Campbell)

This has been in my drafts for a while, months actually. There may or may not be a part 2. Let me know what you think. I appreciate the feedback. Excuse all errors.

Erica
Warren called and wants me to work with a new producer. I'm on the fence about it because I love the vibe he and I have. Let's back track for a second, I'm Erica Campbell one half of the gospel singing duo MaryMary. My sister Tina and I formed the group when we were younger. We were discovered and then recorded Shackles and our first album. I've been gay for as long as I can remember but hid my sexuality from my family, friends and fans. So Warren and I got "married". But what you guys are now finding out is that we never we married legally. We had Krista through IUI because I refused to have sex with him. I couldn't. Eventually we "divorced" but I still work with as my main producer for my solo work. He's a good guy but he ain't for me. I've talked to a few women in the entertainment industry and they were all the same, too needy and whiny for me. Since being "divorced" I don't hide my sexuality and I'm accepted by the people who matter the most to me.

For the past four years I've been living my life openly. I was judged and criticized by many in the faith community. I lost some of my closest friends. What kills me about that is that I know for a fact that at least two of my former friends are lesbians too. Both women are also Christian musicians and are always speaking out against homosexuality. If only the world knew what they did behind closed doors. I'm not going to name drop but all you have to do is listen to their music. Me thinks they protest too much. The rumors you heard well they're definitely true. For a while I also stopped making music, just to concentrate on life, but I just got back into it. Warren had been encouraging me to continue to make music. So I recorded a few songs through the years. There are some songs I know that will surprise my listeners. They're a little hood but I still keep God first through everything. You can take girl out the hood but you can't take the hood out the girl.

I know I mentioned my daughter Krista. That little girl is the love of my life. She looks just like a mixture of me and Warren with his skin tone. Although I think as she gets older she'll look more and more like Warren. She's six now and will be going to school soon. I know six is late but its because of the way her birthday falls. She's so excited about it. We hang out a lot at Tina's house, she and my niece Laiyah are the best of friends. My life changed so much once she was born. Krista brought me joy in a time when I needed it the most. When we decided to have her I was so depressed because I wasn't living true to myself. She brings me joy!

I need to get up and get my day started. I put on my robe and headed into my bathroom. I took my shower and did my normal morning routine. After getting dressed, I walked into Krista's room seeing her already up playing with her barbie dolls. 

"Good Morning Mommy."

"Good Morning Babycakes. Whatcha doing?"

"Playing with Gigi and Lana. They wanted to have a fashion show."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep, they sure did."

"Well can we postpone their fashion show until later."

"Awww Mom, do I have to?"

"You can play until I pick out some clothes for you."

I went into her closet and pulled out two different outfits, sometimes my baby wants to be a little tomboy and other days a princess. I let her do her. There is no right or wrong way, as long as she feels loved and knows she can come to me with anything, that's all I care about. One outfit was a blue Champion sweat suit with her blue and black Jordan 1s, the other outfit was a frilly tulle skirt that was black and gold polka dotted, the shirt was white with gold writing and her jean jacket with gold ballet flats. Today I'm sporting some skinny jeans, with a red Champion sweat shirt and my Jordan 1s Bred toes. I came out the closet and laid the outfits on Krista's bed for her to choose. She chose the sweat suit because she said that she wanted to match my fly today. I ended up changing her pants to jeans like me. We quickly moved through her morning routine then ate breakfast. I made sure to brush our teeth before leaving the house.