Someone you loved

Chapter 23

A chapter from Kakashi's P.O.V.! Something new and hopefully not terrible.

Love, Stella 

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It was odd to be able to hold Chiasa like he had yearned to. And that was something else entirely to wrap his head around. When had Kakashi started to care about the Uchiha like this?

Oh, it was embarrassing that he hadn't seen it earlier, how could he have missed all those signs? Since Rin, Kakashi had never cared how his fellow shinobi saw him, perfectly fine with being called cold-blooded, friend-killer, monster. That's what he was after all.

But with her... he had wanted her trust, wanted her to sleep peacefully while he was in the same room. And when she did, it had felt like a bolt of lighting had hit, it made him feel alive. He had let her in his apartment – not home, because home was only around his pack – and in his bed, sleeping with his back wide open and the inexplainable knowledge that she'd defend him.

It was the first time he had slept without nightmares or the paranoia that came with being a shinobi.

The mission in Wave followed and while it had strengthened the feeling of pack, of his to protect and defend and care, it had also torn the kunoichi away. Kakashi didn't like thinking about the time after, when he had descended back into hell, not really understanding why her absence felt like a part of his heart had been ripped out.

If someone had asked, he'd have no coherent explanation as to why he left his apartment unlocked every time he went on a mission, other than that he simply couldn't bring himself to.

Then the Chunnin exam had come and with them Orochimaru. He had been helpless when Chiasa lay feverish and pained in his bed, tainted by the Snake's seal when she had defended their pack, alone, because Kakashi hadn't been with her, because he had been too proud and stubborn to talk to her. And it had almost cost him the Uchiha, his Uchiha.

The anguished, pleading look in her eyes when she had told him she'd not let Orochimaru win, one way or another, had shaken his very core, the possibility of her slipping through his fingers never closer, or at least that's what he had thought back then.

He couldn't help her, he was useless in protecting her, all he could do was hold her when the seal was gone, her screams echoing in his nightmares for the weeks to come.

With the taint gone, and having his pack and Hime around, he had thought they'd be okay. He had been wary of course; it was only a question of time until Orochimaru would be back and this time he'd be ready. He'd present his pack with the Snake's head as was tradition in his clan, the wolf in him lusting for the hunt, stronger and fiercer than he had ever been.

However, he had not been prepared for an invasion of Sand and Sound combined. He should have known better, really. The fates would do anything to take his pack away.

History repeated itself that day as he failed once again to protect what was his, her screams so anguished they even stopped the battle momentarily. His heart had shattered as he saw her slump over, covered in blood and tears, and there he had realised that she was more than pack.

Holding her in his arms, his hands painted with red – a colour he couldn't get rid of, no matter how many times he scrubbed himself raw – he realised that she held his heart in her hands; hands that could and would bring destruction to those that dared to hurt her precious ones. Fire and wind would tear through any obstacle and Kakashi would follow it, his lightning paving the way for her if she allowed it.

The last chains that had bound and shackled him to the village, small and barely noticeable as they had been there since his birth and the whispered promises to protect what his almost-pack had died for, burst under his rage and fury.