Slipping trough my fingers

Voilà

Meredith woke up when tiny hands were shaking her awake. She opened her eyes and saw her 3 kids smiling

"Hey babies" She said and made sure she signed the words with her hands to not exclude her youngest daughter "Who wants breakfast?"

All three nodded and they got out of the bed. Bailey ran downstairs with his arms spread. Zola was telling about the dream she had last night and Ellis's head was resting in the crook of Meredith's neck

The kids sat down at the counter and Meredith pulled out 3 bowls and started pouring cereal and milk into them before handing them over to the kids.

Meredith started to get the kids ready for school. Zola and Bailey are both in elementary school now. Ellis is still in kindergarten that was inclusive to deaf kids. She is really having fun attending classes and learning to sign although she still struggles a bit given how little she is.

She managed to get Zola's hair fixed because that is the only thing she can't do by herself yet. She put Bailey in his outfit for school and helped him brush his teeth. 'So far so good' she thought. But when it was time to put Ellis in her outfit for the day, the little girl refused to get out of her princess Elsa ,from the Frozen movie, nightgown.

"Sweetheart you can't wear this to school. This is your outfit for when you nap. You have to put on another outfit for school." She signed and tried to persuade the little girl. But Ellis got upset, she started crying and throwing a fit. Meredith was already exhausted from getting the other two kids ready and Ellis being upset just made her heart squeeze.

"Ellis, baby, look at me. You can wear a different outfit to school and then when you get home we can have a tea party with me and Zola and Bailey in your princess outfit okay ?" She signed. Ellis seemed to accept the idea and nodded in agreement. After this heroic attempt to get Ellis ready all three kids were ready for school. And she was already 20 minutes late. 'Great' she thought and left.

By the time she got to work she was 40 minutes late. She went to the nurses station where she spotted Bailey and Derek talking.

"Grey you're late we have patients to see" Bailey said not lecturing Meredith but also reminding her that patients won't save themselves. Bailey didn't ask her the reason she was late because it was obvious. Meredith looked absolutely exhausted.

"Well, if you can't be on time maybe we should get a nanny. Maybe she will actually get the kids ready on time" he said with a chuckle but also kind of meaning it. Both Meredith and Miranda looked at him astonished.

"Maybe if you were ever home, you could actually see how hard it is to get three kids ready for school by yourself. Especially when one of them is throwing a fit. But what would you know? I'm the one doing that every morning". Meredith said and stormed off. Miranda scoffed at him and followed Meredith.

Meredith hid in a supply closet. Tears were streaming down her face when Miranda entered the room.

"I.. I'm sorry, I'll start working now"

"Meredith, stop. Tell me what's going on" Miranda said with her motherly voice

"It's okay, we're okay" Meredith stammered and stood up

Bailey held her from running away "You're not okay. What's been going on with you and Shepherd?"

"Bailey, we're okay. We're gonna be okay." Meredith wiped away her tears and walked out of the room to go changing

Miranda frowned but let her go. She made a mental note to keep an eye on Meredith.

...

"Can someone page neuro?" Meredith yelled as she brought her patient into the examination room

"We did, no response" A nurse said

"Who's on call?"

"He-Shepherd" The nurse replied

"Page him again" Meredith ordered

"What's this? He isn't coming?" The patient's husband asked

"Sir, I promise you, he'll be here as soon as possible" Meredith tried to calm the husband down as she did a quick neuro exam herself.

"Well where is he?" The husband started to yell after a minute

"Sir, please calm down" Meredith said as she tried to calm the man down who was slamming his arms into the air

"Stop and go get her a doctor!" He yelled before he slammed her against the cabinet and she hit her head.

When the man pushed Meredith Alex and Derek simultaneously walked in. Alex kicked the man out before handing him over to security.

He ran back to Meredith to check if she was fine. "Mer? Are you okay?" Alex immediately asked. Derek had been frozen in his spot when Meredith looked at him angrily.

"Where the fuck were you?" She yelled

"I-I..." he started as he walked towards her.

"No. Stay over there, you've done plenty already." she said.

"Mer, come on. Let's get you for a head CT" Alex said as he led her out of the room

...

"You're fine, just a small concussion. Go home and rest" Alex said when he looked at the scans

Meredith nodded and walked to the attendings' lounge and started changing her clothes.

"Mer?" Derek stepped in

"Leave me alone, Derek." She sighed

"Mer.."

"Derek, I just wanna go home and cuddle my kids. I'm exhausted and my head hurts, okay?" she calmly whispered.

Derek nodded and let her go. He was worried, deep down he still loves her as much as he did all these years ago, he was still madly in love with her. He was just upset all the time, not being able to control it.

"Mer! I.. I'll be home tonight. Is that okay?"

"Can we please just not fight? I'm so tired of this. We are either fighting or exist in this unbearably uncomfortable silence. I'm exhausted..." she sighed and left the attendings' lounge.

Derek stayed there. Her words were like a knife in his chest. He didn't do this intentionally. He would never treat her like this on purpose and hurting her was the last thing he wanted. He got lost in his thoughts.

"There you go Ellie Belle. Good job!!" Meredith clapped at Ellis who was acing her walking. It was a normal Sunday when the family of 5 would hang out near the pond. Derek was helping Zola ride her bike and left Bailey in the water playing with his water toys. Meredith saw Bailey alone in the water and panicked. He already knew how to swim but she felt a little uncomfortable leaving him alone in the water.

"Bailey! Come out of the water. Mommy doesn't like it when you go in by yourself" she shouted at the little boy. But he didn't obey. She sighed and got up to get him out herself. But what she didn't notice was that Ellis got on her feet and followed her. She wasn't quick but she managed to climb onto a big rock next to the water. As Meredith was occupied getting Bailey, she didn't see Ellis. She got Bailey out of the water and wrapped him in a towel to warm him. Bailey then pointed at something in the water and spoke.

"Mommy what is Ellis doing?" he said. Meredith innocently looked where he was pointing, smiling thinking the little girl was doing something silly again. Her eyes widened in shock and fear when she saw the little girl had fallen into the water and was failing at floating. She screamed her name and ran into the water fully clothed, not caring at all about that. She got her out of the water and by then Derek had noticed what was happening.

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