Slipping trough my fingers

Riptide

"Miranda, I need to take the day off" Meredith said through the phone "No.. I know-.. I need to take care of my daughter, Bailey!" Meredith started to raise her voice a bit when she apologized "I'm sorry. I'm exhausted and- I need this, Bailey."

Derek was watching Meredith call and was quite shocked by how vulnerable his wife looked as she was begging to get the day off

"Thank you, Bailey" Meredith said and ended the phone call.

Meredith didn't notice Derek and walked to the fridge, grabbing milk and taking out some bowls from the cabinet behind her as she started filling them with cereal and milk before she walked upstairs to go wake the kids.

Zola was still sleepy as she made her way downstairs while Bailey was bouncing towards Derek.

Meredith gently shook Ellis awake and greeted her with a little wave when she opened her eyes

The little girl waved back and tried to turn around

Meredith tried to take Ellis' attention "Hey, baby? You wanna sleep a little longer?" She asked

Little Ellis groaned and sunk deeper into the warm, cosy sheets. Meredith nudged Ellis once again.

"Okay, you can sleep in, just for today, alright? I'm gonna say goodbye to Zozo and Bailey and I'll be back to cuddle, okay?" she signed and gave her a forehead kiss.

"Yay!!" Ellis signed with her little hands.

Meredith went downstairs and saw Derek helping Zola and Bailey put on their shoes. He looked at her.

"Where's Ellis" he asked.

"Well she wanted to sleep in today so I let her" she half smiled and hoped Derek wouldn't tell her anything for spoiling Ellis.

"Okay, okay. I'll put the kids on their bus and I'll head to the hospital. You should go back to bed and get some rest, okay?" Derek said to her and gave her a kiss. Meredith nodded and waved goodbye to the kids and gave Derek a kiss before returning upstairs.

Meredith entered Ellis' bedroom and joined the girl in the small bed. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her a bit more in her embrace. She kissed the girl's head and took in the smell of her daughter.

"Mer, we're gonna adjust. We can learn how to use sign language and we'll be fine!" Derek assured Meredith in the conference room. Bailey and Richard left them to let the news sink in.

"Derek, what if she'll blame me? I should have watched her better! I should have taken better care of her! She can't be deaf! She can't!" Mereidth started yelling and slammed her fists against the table

Derek grabbed her arms "Meredith, stop!" It came out a bit harsh.

"I.. tell me I'm not to blame! You think the same thing, Derek!" She yelled again

"Fine. What do I have to say? That you're to blame? Want me to say that?" Derek snapped

"I-.. I need to see Ellie"

"Mer, stay!" Derek now yelled

"Mommy!" The kids yelled as they ran into the conference room

"Sorry, couldn't hold them" Alex said as he put his head inside of the room, noticing the defeated expressions of Meredith and Derek

"Mommy!"

"M-ommy!" Meredith woke up, hearing Ellis' voice. It took her a while to steady her breath and it seems like Ellis saw something was off

"Mommy? Are you okay?" She signed

"Yeah, just a dream, don't worry, baby" She tried to smile

Ellis wrapped her little arms around Meredith "You always give me a hug when I'm sad" She sighed

Meredith was fighting the tears that wanted to stream down her face. "I'm so sorry, Ellie" She whispered, knowing there was no way her daughter could hear her

"Can we have breakfast?" The little girl signed after a while

"Of course" Meredith said and stood up and grabbed Ellis' hand

"Where are Zo and Bails?" Ellis asked

"They're at school sweetie" Meredith signed back

"Why don't I have to be at school?" Ellis asked

"After yesterday we thought it would be the best. Now, what do you want? Oatmeal, cereal?" Meredith asked

"Cereal!" Ellis rapidly replied

"Cereal it is" She smiled and poured a bowl of cereal and handed it over to Ellis when her phone rang

"Lexie?" She sounded shocked "No, I'm fine.. Lexie, I promise I'm fine. I'm home with Ellie.. Yeah.. no!" Meredith was pacing in the kitchen "Lexie, Derek and I are fine, I am fine and the kids are fine. I promise!" Meredith said as Ellis was too busy eating her cereal "Okay, Lex. See you tonight, bye" Meredith said and hung up the phone

"Aunt Lexie and uncle Mark are coming over tonight" Meredith signed at Ellis

The girl's arms flew in the air as a shound, familiar to 'yay', left her mouth.

Meredith smiled at the sight of her daughter being so excited "What do you think of a bath now?"

The little girl nodded and Meredith carried the girl back upstairs, helping her out of her PJs

...

"Ellie, time for your hair" Meredith said

"Noo!!" She shook her head violently "I don't want to wet my head" Ellis signed and started tearing up.

"Why not, baby?" Meredith signed back.

"I had a dream, I fell into the water and I couldn't breathe and then you were crying mommy, so I don't want to." Ellis signed very vividly, the mere thought of her dream clearly making her upset. Meredith almost started sobbing. Her little girl remembered everything. She remembered what happened and was now dreaming about it.

"Okay, it's okay. Let's get out of the bathtub, okay?" Meredith tried to stay as calm as she could. She wrapped Ellis in a towel and took her to her bedroom. After she got dressed she gave Ellis a little picture to draw and called Derek.

"Mer? Hi, what happened?" Derek sounded from the phone.

"Derek, Ellis remembers what hap- happened that day. She had a dream about it last night a-and she told me while I was giving her a bath and I- I can't.." Meredith was crying and started hyperventilating.

"Meredith, listen to me. You are okay. Ellis is okay. You are an incredible mother to our kids and whatever happened that day was not your fault. And whatever is wrong with our girl, we'll figure it out and fix it, okay? Take slow deep breaths." Derek calmed her down through the phone with his soothing voice helping her normalise her breathing.

AN // Collab with the amazing @pompeoismyrock she's the absolute best! <3