Slipping trough my fingers

Happiness

Meredith and the kids were sitting in the living room, Lexie and Mark just left. They decided to watch a movie. Zola and Bailey were closely watching as Ellis just snuggled into her mother's embrace while they read a book together

"Anyone who wants some dessert?" Meredith asked and all 3 kids nodded

"Can I help?" Little Ellis signed

"Of course!" Meredith smiled as they both walked into the kitchen.

"I want strawberry and vanilla" The girl signed

"I think I'll take the same. Bailey and Zola probably want chocolate. Can you go ask them?"

Ellis ran off while Meredith already filled her and Ellis' bowl with ice cream

"Vanilla and chocolate for Zola and only chocolate for Bailey" She signed as she returned back into the kitchen. The little girl took place next to her mother on a chair and was holding disco dip to put them over the ice cream

"Do you want some whipped cream?" Meredith asked her

"Yes!" She responded, her voice even heard.

Meredith's heart aches everytime she hears the little girl's voice. She feels responsible for what happened and all these years it actually felt as if everyone blamed her. At the hospital there was a lot of gossip. People stared at her, then the rumours started about her marriage and people giving their unasked opinions.

Meredith and Ellis walked into the living room with spoons and the bowls of ice cream. They started eating together and it was no surprise that Bailey was the first one to finish.

"I'm done" He exclaimed and put his bowl into the dishwasher

"Start cleaning your teeth, will you?" Meredith asked and the boy went upstairs.

Zola quickly followed but Ellis wasn't able to finish the whole bowl so Meredith put it on the counter

"Let's go brush your teeth" Meredith signed

"Mommy! Look!" Bailey ran towards her as he showed her something silly

"Wow, Bails! That's amazing" Meredith said

Ellis was the first one to put in bed. While the other kids were playing a bit in their rooms, Meredith got Ellis in her light colored wooden bed with her favourite yellow sheets.

"C'mon, baby. Time for bed" She signed at the girl

Ellis grabbed a book and looked at Meredith with pleading eyes.

"Of course" Meredith giggled and sat on the little girl's bed, opening the book.

After the story, Meredith kissed Ellis' head and moved over to Bailey's room. He usually kept talking and joking until it was time to shut the lights. Zola and Meredith just used to cuddle and talk about the day. Meredith decided to go downstairs to clean everything up before going to bed herself. She's been exhausted.

She was wearing a black tank top and blue shorts with a cardigan on top. She tried to be as quiet as possible to not wake up the kids when she got to her room. Climbing under the sheets. At this point she was fighting her tears. She felt lonely, she felt empty. She needed her soulmate back, her life as a wife, as a mother, even as a surgeon. She was lost in thoughts when the bedroom door opened. She expected it to be one of the kids but it was Derek.

"Hi.." He whispered as he got in and sat down on his side of the bed

"Hi" She whispered back, sitting a bit more upright.

An awkward silence filled the room and a tear escaped Meredith's eyes.

"I'll just go downstairs" he said and got up.

"Can you stay? Just for tonight?" she said, her voice breaking a little but she managed to hide it.

"Of course." he said and laid down next to her. They were not touching.

"Can I hold you?" he asked her. He felt bad for all those things that he had said and done.

"That's all I need right now" she said and turned on her side. He did too. He wrapped his arms around her and it just felt homey and safe. And natural. They both knew this wouldn't last long but holding each other right now, made tomorrow's fight sound a little less hard and unbearable

Meredith struggled to carry baby Ellis out of the water. She wanted to try harder but the gravity was keeping her in place. She managed to get the little vulnerable looking girl out of the water. Derek was there but it was silent. No one was speaking and the only thing Meredith could hear was her heavy breathing.

Meredith was asleep, reminded of what happened on that traumatic day until the scenery changed to what seemed to be her and Derek in the dreamhouse, she could only hope this wouldn't be reality..

Meredith and Derek were fighting. Derek was screaming at her.

"It's your fault. You did this!" he said and started gathering her things.

"Please. Derek, please. I'm sorry, it was an accident, Please don't leave me" she sobbed

"Mer? Meredith?" Derek shook her awake

"I.. No!" She sobbed as she woke up

"Mer, what's going on?" Derek asked, noticing the tears that kept streaming down her face

"I.. nothing" She turned around

"Meredith.. talk, please" Derek practically begged

"It's okay. I'm sorry for waking you. I didn't mean you to.. I'm very sorry" Meredith closed her eyes again and tried to focus on her breathing to calm herself down but failed.

Derek worried about her. He heard her screaming his name and 'please don't leave me'. Did she really believe that they had no future together? He rolled to her side and put his arms around her waist. "Mer.. please talk to me" Derek tried again

"I'm sorry" She turned around, facing Derek but not being able to look in his eyes.

"Mer, I love you. I can't live my life without you" He admitted, his head resting on her's

"I love you too, Derek. I really do" She replied. His fingers stroking her hair before he kissed her

"You'll be okay to sleep?" He asked her

Meredith waited a couple of seconds and scooted closer into Derek's embrace "Now I will" She replied before resting her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"I love you" She said

"I love you too, Meredith" 

AN // Go check my co-writer's profile! New chapter of our story 'Battle scars' will be out any minute