The Road that leads to Somewhere

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

            I took a step outside and cursed the darkness. There were a few dim lights on the walls of the pub but they didn’t span the whole outside area, so I squinted as I looked for Jamie, taking tentative steps forward. I heard a movement from my right, from around the corner of the building, out of sight, so I headed into the corner. There he stood, propped up with his back against the wall, one knee bent with his foot on the wall. He was wearing a thick cable knit dark grey jumper, with dark wash jeans that sat perfectly on his hips. He had his arms crossed and he was looking down. I coughed a little to get his attention and he looked up straight away, uncrossing his arms and a small smile appeared on his face.

            I gave him a small smile back and walked towards him so that I stood in front of him. There was no one else outside on this cold Christmas Eve. We were alone.

            “Hey” he said quietly

            “Hey back”

            I waited for him to talk to me, apprehensive about what he had to say.

            “You okay?” he asked and I nodded in response, “How’s college?”

            I sighed and looked down, before looking back up at him, straight into his eyes, “Yeah, college is fine, but have you bought me out here to swap pleasantries or have you got something to say to me?”

            “Yeah…erm…okay, I did bring you out here for a reason” he admitted, and my heart started racing again. Bad idea to look into his eyes, now I can’t look away.

             “It wasn’t for the shit conversation was it?” I teased and he seemed to physically relax, prompting me to follow suit. I have to remember this is Jamie, Jamie who I grew up with. I shouldn’t feel nervous around him.

            “No, at least I hope its not a shit conversation” he laughed and I smiled in return, “first of all, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you all night, you look so beautiful, it pains me not being able to touch you”.

            I took an intake of breath at his admission and my body tingled all over. Wow. That was actually really sweet, how can I not fall for him when he says things like that to me?  I opened my mouth to say thank you but he held up a hand to stop me.

            “Wait, let me get this out before I bottle it” he said, tensing slightly again, “Secondly, I want to be able to touch you and hold you whenever I want, I know that’s pretty much impossible at the moment, but I would settle for when we get the chance, if you would let me” he said, reaching up and true to his word, grazing the side of my face with his knuckles. That one touch was enough for me to agree to whatever he wanted to offer me, right there and then.

            “Thirdly, I know this might come back and bite us both in the ass, and it is a risk, one which I am willing to take, but I really want to make something of this…. us I mean” he finished, as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

            “What are you trying to say Jamie?”.

            “I’m not explaining myself very well am I?” he said, giving me a sheepish smile I couldn’t help but melt at.

            I smiled back and took a step towards him, “Not really, but when do you ever?” I teased and he chuckled softly.

            “What I’m trying to say is, I’m not sure what this thing is between us, but whatever it is, I think we should do something about it, nothing serious, but just spend some time together, just the two of us, without any disruptions from anyone” he explained and I nearly passed out. Is he saying he wants to be with me?