The Road that leads to Somewhere

PART THREE - June 2011 Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I take a deep breath. For the first time that day, I feel completely calm. I am standing in my favourite spot in the city, over looking the beautiful buildings and greenery that make up the place where I now live. I didn't think I would take to living in Edinburgh so quickly, but I took to it like a duck to water. I loved the culture, the people, the vibe and atmosphere that always seemed to be apparent in every part of the city. I loved the life I had built here, with my best friend, the friends we had made, and my job that I secured after graduating.

Libby had even found herself a boyfriend. His name was Logan, and he was tall, wide and as brash as you imagine any Scotsman to be. I loved him, he was awesome and he made my best friend happy which was the most important thing. We were fast becoming friends, which you wouldn't be able to tell if you saw us together. We had the same sense of humour, and we were constantly insulting each other whenever we got together. That's how I knew he would fit right in with us. He didn't try to impress me because I was Libby's best friend, he gave as good as he got when I started to tease him and right then I loved him for her.

Although at this very moment, I hated both of them. This was the third blind date they had set me up on, and I am as optimistic about this one as I was about the others. Which suffice to say, is not a whole lot. Where Logan found these guys I do not know, and part of me thinks he picks these men for me to rile me, but Libby approves of them too. Lets just hope this one doesn't talk my ear off the whole night about his failing comic book shop and how comfortable he is still living with his parents at 28, like the first guy, or regale me with tales of his ex girlfriend and how much fun they had together, eventually deciding that he still loved her and asking me how to win her back, like the last guy.

So that's why I am here, why I paid the fee to get in to Edinburgh castle at 5pm on a Wednesday night, so that I could get into my happy zone and try and go into this with an open mind. The only place I can manage to achieve that is my spot on the top of the hill.

It used to be a person that could get me into this zone, but I walked away from that person 3 years ago. Jamie is doing well after his life saving surgery. It took him a long time to get back on his feet properly, at least 12 months, and I kept updated either by him or my brother on his progress when Lib and I moved. Him and Rose split up a few months after I left but he would never tell me why. We still keep in touch occasionally and he still sends me dirty jokes sometimes, but I tried to distance myself a little when it became too hard and too painful to hear from him so much. Knowing he was so far away from me, not only geographically but also from whatever connection we had sustained, prevented me from moving on with my life so I cut down the contact. He never questioned it, mostly because he understood why I think, but also because he didn't want to push me and it reminded me how well he knows me. I haven't seen him since I left for Edinburgh. I was supposed to see him at Christmas but I skipped going to the pub. It would have been too hard to act like normal and I didn't want to put myself in that position.

I looked down at my watch to see it's already 5.30. I sigh, realizing I should be getting home to get ready to go out. I have an hour in which to do so, so I take one last look out at my favourite view and then make my way down the hill.

Lib and I live in a top floor, Victorian apartment about a 15-minute walk from the castle. We moved in about 5 months ago, and although I get paid a decent amount at my job for the psychology magazine I work for, no way would we be able to afford this place if Logan didn't own it. Luckily Lib met a guy who happened to be a pretty decent property developer in Scotland and when he found out we needed to move out of student accommodation after graduation, he would not take no for an answer. So we ended up in this gorgeous apartment with high ceilings, dark wooden flooring and big bay windows in both bedrooms, for hardly any rent between us. He really is a gem.