Hearts & Stars (A Paul Stanley X Tommy Thayer Rock & Roll Love Story)

Chapter 7-The Cat & The Spaceman hang out (Tommy Thayer POV)

A/N: Some funny moments...some angst...some surprises Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"You sure Gene doesn't mind watching your kids & us hanging out?", I asked Eric as we drive somewhere to eat.

"Nah, course not! It's been a while since I've hung out with one of my best friends!", Eric smiles as he makes a turn.

"One of your best friends?", I mock an offended look and tone & roll my eyes.

"Hey, you can have more than one you know. Plus, I just wanted to get you out of your house.... you've been kind of reclusive since the show.", Eric glances at me from the side while still concentrating on driving. I sigh.... I haven't meant to be reclusive, it just kind of happened. I mean I've talked to Paul (pure torture), talked to Peter...Eric, Fox. Bruce.... but I haven't really been anywhere.

"Eric, I appreciate this, really I do, but everything's ok...I promise.", Wow I don't believe that in the least.... I am doing a piss poor job of convincing myself and Eric too it seems....

"Tommy, no offense your full of shit. You're not ok...I don't get it...You & Paul.... why the hell do you keep dancing around one another and torturing yourselves?", Eric is concerned I can tell.

"Ok, so I'm not ok.... And I don't know! How am I supposed to tell Paul I love him?! I'm not good enough for him and him...I don't know why he doesn't say how he feels either. I mean in my head I know he can't stand Ace, that they were 'fuck buddies' and all.... but their history. Paul's a good guy, maybe he doesn't want to ruin our friendship?", I practically whisper....it feels like the walls are closing in.... I can't...no, no not now! Eric notices I'm fixing to have a panic attack and pulls over at what just so happens to be a restaurant. My breathing is becoming shallow...this...it hurts.... I barely notice that we're not moving, that the engine is off, and that Eric pulls me into his arms & rocks me back & forth gently.

I am still hyperventilating.... Paul, why...why can't I just take a chance & say 'I love you'? Why can't you for that matter? Why are we both such fools? Why does love have to hurt SO much?

It takes Eric a half hour to calm me a down and for me to no longer be panicking. I pull away from Eric & try & smile...I find I can't.

"Tom...maybe we should go take you home?"

"No! NO! I will be fine...I need to take my mind off stuff.... please Eric!", I plead with him.

"Ok, Tommy if, you're sure. Now let's see if we can get you cheered up huh. And ooh, look Italian! I am so hungry!", Eric exclaims excitedly & I have to laugh.... He's a regular energizer bunny! I am so incredibly grateful to have a friend like him!

"I think you should have a different make-up design! You could be the Kiss Bunny!". I tease Eric as we get out of the car & head inside. Eric rolls his eyes, but smiles & I can tell is relieved to see me smile.

We order our drinks & talk till the waiter comes back...

"Eric, I can't thank you enough for calming me from my panic attack. Your more than a friend, you're a brother.", I aim a grateful smile at Eric.

"Tommy, it's what family is for.," Nothing more is said as we soon order our food and just spend time talking & laughing. It's just what I need....

After we eat, we go to play pool & I totally cream Eric by the way who pouts every time he doesn't win, but still, we have a blast.

"No fair! Your taller & stuff and-and—" Eric crosses his arms a habit he picked up from his husband: Gene.

"Aw, is the demon kitty jeawous?", I tease in a cutesy voice & Eric just flips me off.

"You suck Tommy...Hey, want to go for Ice Cream?", Eric asks enthusiastically. I ruffle his hair fondly and he frowns, but there is a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"You & Gene are made for each other...but yeah ice cream sounds great!", I say as we head out the door as we head to an ice cream place.

"Hey! We do more than eat & have sex you know!", Eric protests. I just laugh at him. Sure, you do, Eric sure you do...seriously I know how much you & Gene really love each other. I haven't thought of Paul until now...no, not again! I thought my mind would be occupied for longer, but its not the case. I don't know how much longer I can take this.... My mind for a time has been occupied, but my heart has not, my feelings haven't gone away...they aren't going too.

Eric thankfully notices nothing is once more amiss...no panic attack this go around, though my fingers are crossed on that.  We find a little ice-cream shop and I get a simple chocolate cone & of course Eric gets a banana split, go figure.

"You got napkins, right?", I asked him and at his offended look...I'm guessing yes.

"Well, duh! I know I make a mess.... don't rub it in Thomas.", Eric says. "Sides I'll work it off later!"

"Ugh, I know your 'work outs' are mainly sex...I don't need to know that!", I take a bite out of my cone.

Eric takes a bite of his split before answering, "Hey! I go to a gym too, ya know!"

"Sure, you do...and you mean you & Gene have sex at the gym too?", I burst into laughter & so does Eric.

Why am I such a mess? I mean I am having a good time, really, I am.... Paul, Paul I love you so much it hurts & I know you have feelings for me too...THAT I can see now...I can see that much at least.

What the Hell am I going to do though when I'm home alone? Paul, are you as tortured as I am? Are you too struggling with insecurities? Someday soon, I hope we can both fully let go. I really do hope so...Somehow it will happen sooner than I think.

A/N: Cant wait to hear your thoughts on this! Much love to you all!!