Under the Willow Tree | Draco Malfoy

chapter 34: that's not fair

Lorelei Jones | 4th Year

"Go on, Lorelei," Harry said and directed her towards the statue. It was their first meeting of Dumbledore's Army, and Lorelei was buzzing with energy. The Weasley twins had already approached her to apologize profusely, and Ron Weasley was really grateful -- and very smiley -- to Lorelei for taking the spotlight off him at the Quidditch game. Despite her fears that she wouldn't be accepted here for her rumored connection to the Slytherin bully, everyone seemed quite welcoming.

Lorelei had a giddy smile as she walked up to the statue with her wand gripped firmly in her left hand. She stared the statue down hard and took a few deep breaths. She could do this. She would do this.

"Expelliarmus!" she yelled, but the wand didn't fly from the statue's hand as expected. It tipped backward and then clattered onto the floor after a suspenseful moment of teetering. Lorelei slightly deflated, but Luna had a beaming grin on her face.

"You needn't be disappointed, Lorelei. It's progress -- you've never done something like that before," Luna hummed while she watched a couple other students try and fail to cast the spell.

Lorelei knew Luna was right. She truly had never tried that spell before, but it was still bringing her chipper mood slightly down. Was it because she was a Muggle-born? Hermione seemed to do quite alright as a Muggle-born, so maybe it was something in her technique.

Or maybe she just wasn't very powerful, a thought nagged Lorelei from the back of her mind.

Her lips pressed into a frown until Ron noticed and hesitantly approached the two girls. "Lorelei, do you mind if I help you a bit?"

Lorelei nodded enthusiastically and took a couple bouncy steps closer to Ron. He smiled and modeled the wand motion for the spell as if it were second nature to him.

Nevertheless, Lorelei mimicked the wand motion without casting the spell for a few minutes, grateful for Ron's critiques and helpful advice. She grinned once he told her that her form looked much better, and she tried to ignore the mischievous glances from the Weasley twins on the other side of the Room of Requirement.

Ron rolled his eyes once he noticed, but Lorelei pretended she hadn't seen it. Ron Weasley was nice -- and cute for sure -- but she didn't feel butterflies when he looked at her. She didn't feel like she was glowing when he said her name, and when Ron's hands brushed against hers during one of his critiques, she didn't wonder what his hands would feel like cupping her cheeks.

Blimey, she was in for it with that Slytherin boy, wasn't she?

Lorelei shook her head at herself as she left the Room of Requirement and walked alongside Ron, still chattering on about the best way to grip the wand when preparing to cast a more difficult spell. While she was asking him if holding her wand too tightly could be causing the problem, she noticed Draco Malfoy leaning against the wall of the corridor they were passing through. His lips were downturned into a nasty scowl, and his pale grey eyes were lethal as they latched onto Ron.

Without seeming to notice the pouting boy, Ron told her goodbye and ran off to join Hermione and Harry in the Gryffindor tower, leaving Lorelei alone in the corridor with Draco only a few steps ahead of her. She didn't pretend to not notice him. She gave him a small smile and a little wave, and he took this as an invitation to close the distance between them.

"Why were you talking to that bloody weasel?"

His eyes were harder than she'd ever seen them, and the closeness of that rage forced her to concede a step back to have some breathing room. He moved in closer, and she shifted back again, but this time, her back fell against the cold stone wall behind her.

Lorelei chewed on her cheek but met his stare dead on. It wasn't like she was hiding anything. "He was being nice—helping me with something."

"I can be nice and helpful too," Draco argued with his face pinched together.

He lifted a hand to her cheek, and Lorelei slightly leaned into it. His hands were cold yet comforting, soft yet rough too. Everything about him was a contradiction.

If he was mad at her, why was he holding her face so gently?

"Can't I have friends?" Lorelei asked in an exasperated breath as she looked up at him. She didn't like Draco acting possessive. That was okay to read about in books, but it wasn't the same in reality.

"Of course...but not him."

"Why not?" Lorelei pressed, feeling an irritation bubbling up in her chest. Ron had been only kind to her, nothing like his troublesome brothers. She had already decided that she liked Ron very much -- why did Draco have to try to take that away from her?

Draco groaned while he flung one hand about in his frustration. Lorelei mused that he didn't seem to find it natural to explain himself. Maybe he had never really considered before why he didn't like Ron.

So, Lorelei pressed on, voice raising uncharacteristically for her. "Why do you get to tell me who I can and can't talk to, when I've never made such demands of you? That's not fair, Draco."

"But he's—"

"Don't insult him to cover your own insecurities," she interrupted, her eyes scolding and hot. "Just talk to me."

As her voice pitched to a peaking volume, Briar Davies ghosted by at the other end of the corridor, but the dark haired Slytherin wasn't Lorelei's primary concern at the moment. Her gaze flickered back up to Draco.

His mouth had fallen open, and his eyes were still heavy with reluctance. Lorelei pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her frustration ebbed and crashed inside her—why couldn't he just trust her?

Respect her?

Draco retreating footsteps alerted her to his departure. His back was perfectly straight, his jaw set, and his eyes completely devoid of all of the things that normally gave Lorelei butterflies. Feeling the crushing weight of the galaxies between them, Lorelei began to cry.

Hearing her cries, Draco stopped and swiveled around to face her. His eyes softened at the sight of her tears, and he ran his hands over his face. "Listen, Lorelei... I'm sorry. I just..." He trailed off, eyes pained.

He crossed the distance between them again. Lorelei she held her breath. The words left unsaid hung in the space between them like a suffocating fog. She hoped he'd just say them—put them out in the air so she could breathe again.

Instead, he lifted his thumb and wiped away a couple stray tears. His cold, calloused thumb brushed over her lips and gently parted them. Lorelei's stomach fluttered like an entire field full of butterflies, and she hoped he would kiss her, even if she knew now wasn't the time just after their fight. Draco seemed aware of this timing issue too, for he backed away slowly and stared into her eyes.

And Lorelei prayed to whatever gods were listening that someday, he'd be brave enough to just be honest.

//

A/N: heyyyy, I've edited this chapter, because I never liked the fact that Lorelei slapped him originally. It's out of character for her and not really excusable. This feels more nuanced and also more her, but if this chapter seems a little disjointed from everything else—it is. I've rewritten the second half of this four years after it was originally written without changing anything else XD.