Dear Diary | Proxies

iii. platform boots and the sushi incident

Dear Diary,
They weren't thrown off by how I dress.
They made me feel pretty.

I didn't get very many days of the week off from work, and when I did, I was content to sit at home and catch up on sleep and shows and anything I could get my hands on. Today, however, I had to get groceries, and I took the chance to dress my best. Working where I did meant I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, piercings, have dyed hair, or anything else that they would deem inappropriate. Outside of work, though, was a different story.

I had done my makeup lighter than my natural skin tone and set to work giving myself dark eyeshadow, contouring with black, and drawing a large spiderweb across my cheek, lines dipping into my ear and nose. I put in contacts that whited out everything but my pupil and swiped drippy black lipstick across my lips.

My outfit consisted of a red pencil skirt I had cut up to be a miniskirt, two pairs of ripped, black pantyhose pulled up to cover my legs. Then, I slipped on a cut-up white dress shirt, a bloodied vest, and my six-inch platform boots. The shoes made me almost six-foot-one, and I liked wearing them in public because men tended to get intimidated when I towered over them. I finished the look by slipped a ton of chains over my head and hairspraying my mohawk into place.

I glanced in the mirror, giving a little spin. Perfect.

My house was about a thirty-minute drive from Walmart, tucked away from most of civilization, but I enjoyed the drive, spending the time screaming along to music louder than necessary. Once I finally made it, I slipped a headphone in my ear and headed in, grabbing a push-cart and making a break for the chip section. It was Dorito time.

I hadn't been there very long when I heard a familiar voice squeak my name out questioningly. I turned at the sound and made eye contact with Toby who was standing near the end of the aisle and looking at me with wide eyes. I was seeing this boy everywhere, recently, huh?

Toby stuttered as I met his eyes, obviously trying to get something out but failing miserably as I gave him a soft smile. "Y-you-you-you're-re t-t-t-ta-tall," he squeaked as he began walking towards me.

"Grew in my sleep," I joked as I stepped towards him, meeting him halfway, my cart left to the side. Toby was about the same height as me without these shoes, so it must have been a shock to see me suddenly towering over him. "I can see over your head," I laughed as I looked over him dramatically before meeting his eyes.

"Are th-those yyy-your real ey-eyes-sss?"

I laughed at that, shaking my head. "No, Tobes, they're contacts." At the nickname, Toby's face went bright red, and he smacked his gloved hands over his cheeks, trying to hide it. "Sorry, I know it can freak people out, seeing what I look like outside of work."

Toby shook his head furiously. "No, no, n-no, no, y-you're really-y-y prett-tty."

It was my turn to turn red at the comment. That was not the normal compliments I would receive – no one had ever found me pretty while looking like this. "Even being six inches taller than you?"

Toby nodded, swallowing harshly. "Def-definate-nately."

I laughed at that and turned, striding back to my shopping cart and making a show of leaning on the handle of it, pretending not to notice as Toby's eyes shifted between my exposed chest and my face rapidly. "So, are the others with you today, or is it just you aga-"

I was cut off by the sound of someone at the end of the aisles. "Rodgers." I looked over to see Tim standing at the end of the aisle, having not noticed me yet. He was glaring at Toby as he strode over, and I slowly lifted myself standing as I watched him. Toby stuttered out apologies while Tim scolded him for walking off, claiming that he and Brian had been searching up and down the aisles for them. It wasn't until Toby had finally spit out that he had been talking to me that Tim finally took notice.