Dear Diary | Proxies

xxi. lunches and pillow fights

Dear Diary,
These boys will be the death of me, but, like, a good death?

I mumbled along to the music playing loudly from my phone as I folded and put away my laundry. While being in the middle of a life-altering, extremely terrifying form of events, the mundane still needed to be done. I shook out one of Toby's shirts that I had accidentally stolen one night, swaying my hips and bopping my head as Lose It by SWMRS played.

I turned, letting the skirt I was wearing twirl with me, only to pause as my eyes locked on Toby's form. He was standing in the doorway, body tense as if scared I was going to get angry at him for watching, but I just grinned, holding my hand out to him as I sang along. "Tell me why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music," I sang as he pressed his hand in mine, letting me pull him into me. I pressed a hand to his back, the other to his shoulder, letting him sway with me. "Yeah if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it."

Toby threw his shoulder to the side, the tic rolling through his body, but he grinned, eyes bright with happiness as I spun us around. He giggled, pressing his face close to mine, feet stumbling as he helped me drag us around.

"I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna lose it," I sang along as the song ended. I pulled away, much to Toby's disdain. He trailed behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind once I grabbed my phone. He laid his head on my shoulder, thumb rolling against the skin of my stomach.

"What do you want to listen to?" I asked as I scrolled through my playlists.

Toby hummed. "W-whatever y-yyy-you want," he replied. "I-I jus-sss-st want to be wi-ith you."

I continued scrolling before pausing once a song caught my eye. "Oh, oh, oh!" I hit play, letting the intro play out as I pulled Toby into the middle of the room. "Come here!" I yelled, putting my hands on his shoulders while his fell back to my waist. I swayed back and forth, giggling to myself before leading him to start dancing around the room, both of us with two left feet but happy hearts. Once it hit the chorus, I began singing along, looking up to Toby as I did. "Hey," I spoke before singing, "I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings, uh-huh. That's right. Darlin', you're the one I want." We spun around, moving in time with the beat. "And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this, uh-huh. That's right. Darlin', you're the one I want." He bopped along, seeming to soak in every lyric I sang along to. "In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams," I trailed off as the next verse cut in.

"I-I like this-sss one," Toby chimed as I let the verse play through the room. He was beaming as he looked down at me.

"Reminded me of you," I replied.

He tilted his head curiously. "Me?"

I nodded. "Well, yeah, because I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings." I cut into the chorus, singing along with her again as Toby slowed down a bit, seeming to process my words.

"R-Really?"

I giggled, pressing my lips to his before pulling back to keep dancing. "Well, yeah, why would I lie to you? You're one of the most important people in my life - next to Brian and Tim, of course." In response, he grabbed my hand, twirling me around. I loved the feeling of my skirt lifting at the action, following my movements. "Come here. Listen." We got close again, feet moving faster. "I want to drive away with you. I want your complications, too. I want your dreary Mondays - wrap your arms around me, babyboy!" Toby's eyes lit up at the last part, following the instructions and wrapping his arms around me as I sang it again.