weird feelings

chapter 7

"bipolar disorder, is a mental illness who affect your emotions and your way to react or act" he start "I sometimes, when I get angry became violent because of it and in those moments I want you to stay away from me as much possible as you can. I don't want to hurt you" he continued "tom you aren't gonna hurt me, and in those moments you can't stay alone I can help you, my uncle was bipolar so I kind of know how it works even though I know it's different for everybody, and don't try to make me change my mind im going through all the steps with you no matter what" I exclaimed he looked into my eyes the whole time and it send me little butterflies in my stomach. " and lastly I have different stages of mood after a crisis, usually the first one is anger or severe sadness, then overthinking and stressing, then the depression phase that is the longer, then im just over productive but in a bad way like I train like 5 times a day, I don't eat, don't sleep and im never doing nothing" he finished, that was a lot to take in a round, but I got it pretty fine. The only problem is that I needed to tell hi something ass well, I just didn't how to tell him. I was still in the same position, to put his arms around my waist and pulled me into him again, I was happy he had the courage to tell me, and that he trusted me.

"so do you want to watch a movie while I continue my story?" I asked him as he sat down. "your story, huh," he smirked. "it's not that one dumbass, that's a different story" I explained and he raised and eyebrow at me "im serious" I said taking my laptop "oh yeah? What is it about ?" he asked and I chuckled "your not gonna like it anyways" I said and opened my laptop "you sure about that?" he asked and stealed my computer, as soon as I clicked on the file. He put it in air so I couldn't reach it and he started reading the file "tom give me back my laptop!" I yelled and he gave it back to me "sorry love I didn't wanted to make you anxious." He said and I took my laptop. I wasn't anxious about my story but for the email it had covered, the email for my masterclass... I didn't know how to tell him.

"tom I uh , I have a masterclass next week" I spit out, he looked at me confused.

"okay, where is it?" he asked and I sigh "in Atlanta, I'll be out for a week or more..." I said and he nod but I could see he was angry and sad?

"Tom, I'll be back as soon as possible" I tried to tell him but he cut me off "im coming with you, I don't want you to be in danger" he said and I closed my eyes at the complexity of this conversations, I couldn't let him come with me. "Tom, no I'll be fine and I have my body guard" I said but he shook his head " let me come with you, and I want to learn" he said pouting. "Tom, no you can't come im really sorry" I said he looked at me "but I need you" he mumbled and I looked at him tears flew his eyes "im only out for a week, I promise I'll be back sooner than you'll realize I am gone" I said and hugged him "still, I need you" he repeated calming down, I leg out a big sigh "all right,you can come" I said and he smiled softly. "okay, now we really need to get out of bed" I said and he chuckled I pulled him out of the bed and he took me on a piggyback. "Tom what are you doing!?" I exclaimed as he runned down the stairs with me still on his back, he didn't say anything but just made tiny jump while walking around the living room it was pretty fun. "hey, you want to do something fun?" he asked "isn't already" I joked he looked at me dead serious but we both burst into laughter. "so do you want to?" he repeated "umhh- sure, but umh what is it?" I asked he smirked, I was raining outside like crazing and I loved that. He pulled me towards the front door and lift me so I can't run away as soon as eh opened the door I understood and began to punch his shoulder. "Tom! NO! NO let me GOooo" I screamed and he laughed, he walked us both outside and in a few seconds I was completely wet. "Agh Im gonna kill you "I said as he put me on the ground, I started chasing him and we looked like childrens... I got at his level and catch him trying to make him fall but he inverted the roles and I stumbled on his foot and fell, he giggled and I opened my mouth wide. "YOUR DEAD HOLLAND" I yelled and got up "oopppp" he said giggling and running away again, I runned after him tackle him and went on him.

"I got you" I said and he smiled, "what are you smiling at?" I asked confused.

He flipped me over and began to kiss my neck, my breath got heavier and my back was arching slightly "at this" he said and runned away again, I rolled my eyes. "WHY DID YOU EVEN DO THAT?!" I yelled and he shrugged, I shook my head. I got up again and walked away to tease him, "hey where your going?!" he yelled, I didn't respond and continued walking, he soon enough came running to me and that's when I flipped him on the ground. "oh you" he said and I raised an eyebrow "what did you say?!" I acted like I was mad, his face went blank and I laughed.

"what are you guys doing?" a random girl asked, tom looked at her and seemed annoyed, it's like he knew her...

"hey tommy" she trailed and I knit my eyebrows making a confused face.

She looked at me up and down and rolled her eyes, who does this bitch think she is!

"hey, melissa" he said, okay he knew her and I really didn't like that I mean, it's not like it's my business but she's a bi- anyway

"Im sorry, who are you?" I asked walking next to tom, she chuckled "oh honey, im tom's girl" she said and I looked at him, he was looking at the floor. "come on we have to go" she said grabbing his arm and pulling him, "melissa we're not fucking dating!" he exclaimed letting go of her grip. "yeah but were fucking" she smirked, that was it, I went inside the house and slammed the door. I runned upstairs into my room and sat on the floor, I was so cold that I was shaking but I was too tired to get up and take a shower, I just sat there and stared at my bed remembering all the moments that Tom and I had these last few days...

Saying it like that we could think he was dead, or he left but no it's just my dramatic side talking , I didn't even know why I was making it such a big deal, he was my friend that was all.

I was falling asleep when I heard my door open, Tom entered my room and approach me, he lift me and sat me on my bed. "Y/n, your freezing come get a shower" he said and I didn't look at him. "Y/n" he repeated "what?!" I started to get angry. "your freezing, you really have to take a shower" he said "why do you even care?! Don't you have someone to fuck?!" I exclaimed not even realizing what was I saying "y/n, come here were going to take a shower" he said and I looked at him straight into the eyes with anger. "I.am.not.taking.a.shower.with.you.!" I exclaimed "y/n, calm down" he tried calming me down and I rolled my eyes. I went into the bathroom and locked myself up, "open this door" he said knocking on the door I didn't respond, I started undressing myself and I glass fell on the floor. "Y/n? are you okay?!" he said tapping on the door harder, I still wasn't responding "y/n please talk to me, im serious say something" he shout banging on my door, I just sat there feeling nothing after I took my pills, I then eventually opened the door, and got in the shower. My momma always teached me to let the bathroom open, because if you passed out and need help nobody can see you. I let the water run on my face and let my hair getting wet, I was sat on the shower floor having my knees in my arms and my head in them.

I stayed like that a good 30 minutes, humming some of my favorite songs/ sad songs mostly....