weird feelings

Chapter 26- Heartbreak

We get out of the hospital room and I saw lizzie and haz sat down on the chairs in the hall, I took tom’s hand and we walked towards them. Lizzie got up and hit harrison’s arm, she walked towards me and hugged me then Tom. “im sorry tom” she said referring to the fight we had 2 days ago. He smiled weakly and nod “all good” he replied, “hey mate” haz said hugging him “hey” tom replied. “lets go home” he continued and I nod. We all walked out of the hospital and waked towards lizzie’s car. “tom you go in the backseat, haz passenger and I am going with tom” I said and they all agreed. Haz and tom sat inside the car and closed the doors, I hugged lizzie and she kissed the top of my head. I let out a tear, and she wiped it “im gonna stay with you guys at home, okay? So you can talk to me” she said and I nod letting more tears stream down my face. “okay, let just go home. Im tired” I said and let go of me to go in the drivers seat while I was wiping my tears and got in the car. “are you okay?” tom whispered as I got in and I nod “im fine” I lied and faked a smiled “come here” I said and pulled him so I was side hugging him. He closed his eyes as I played with his hair, we got home in a bit of time and we all walked in. lizzie took my hand and rubbed it with her thumb to reassure me, “im gonna sleep on the couch” she said and I walked towards the living room. I opened the couch to make it bigger for her to sleep on it. I took pillows and a blanket and put all on the couch, she kissed my cheek and put her phone to charge.
I walked with tom upstairs and went into his room, “im gonna take a shower” he said and looked at me, I was bitting my cheek and he walked closer to me “what’s up?” he asked “im coming with you” I said and he frowned “what?” he asked and I nod “im coming with you” I repeat. “all right” he chuckled, we both walked inside the bathroom and I sat on the toilet after closing it. He looked at me and squint his eyes “why aren’t you taking you clothes off?” he asked and I stared at him. “im just checking on you tom” I said and he looked down. “okay, but can you just take the shower with me. I won’t do anything I promise” he said and I swallowed. “I know you won’t, it’s just i- okay” I agreed after looking at him. He took his clothes off, turned the water on and got inside the cab, I did the same and walked inside. He turned around and looked at me, I looked down at my body and saw bruises he walked closer and touched them. “did he do that to you?” he asked and I sighs I didn’t wanted to reply. He understood it was him and he put a strand of hair behind my ear. “you know you can touch me” I whispered and he passed his hand on my cheek “you know that’s not what I mean” I replied and he sighs “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable love” he said “you aren’t it’s the opposite Tom, I need you” I whispered. “I need you cause at the moment you are the only man I trust and I love you” I said and he kissed my lips. He took me by the waist and pulled me closer to him. My skin was damp and and his was wet caused by the shower hitting his skin. “if you don’t want to we don’t have to y/n” he said and I nod “i- I want to” I replied and he sighs, he kissed down my neck and pushed me gently on the wall, he trailed kisses down to my chest and I pushed the flashback away. He trailed his hand to my belly and just upper my core, he stayed like this so I took my hand and pushed his hand to my core. “is it okay?” he asked and I cut him by kissing him, I felt his erection grow on my belly and he aligned himself at my entrance, I took a breath and he entered me slowly not to hurt me. We put our foreheads together and he looked at me in the eyes, he began trusting in me and I gasped at the pleasure. “does it hurt?” he asked and I shook my head. He continued trusting in me and I closed my eyes, I soon had my high and tom his. Fortunately tom didn’t saw the tears on my face cause of the water, we got out of the shower and I wrapped myself in a towel and gave one to tom. I got out of the bathroom the cold hair hitting my body, I shivered walking to the bed and taking a large hoodie from tom’s closet. I lied in the bed and tom followed me. He fell asleep but I couldn’t, I couldn’t because everytime I closed my eyes I saw the scene. I saw him.
Hours passed and I couldn’t let myself fall asleep, I looked up from the wall and my eyes met the ceiling, i analized it for about 5 minutes before I got bored… I sat up facing the window, the moon lighting my face. I looked over my shoulder and saw Tom, he was sleeping and I couldn’t resist but put a strand of his cury that had fallen on his forehead, back in place. I smiled shyly as he scrunched his nose at my touch. I looked back at the window and got up, I walked towards it and looked at the empty street. I wondered if I didn’t froze when I saw tom getting cpr, I wouldn’t of had been rape.
But y/n have been, and we don’t know what would of happened if she didn’t froze or if she wasn’t at the hospital but at lizzie’s. We don’t know and we never will.
y/n in this story? She lost a lot of things, but she isn’t the one who lost the most.
Lizzie did, she lost her parents in a plane crash, her best friend died and her other ones want to did. But she lost mostly her trust in y/n and that will cause a lot of issues. Once they were inseparable and now her trust is lying on a thread ready to break at any moment.
To come back with y/n, she moved from the window and walked quietly to the door. She got on her tippy toes not to wake tom up, she closed the door and walked tiredly down the stairs, she walked towards the kitchen and sat on it looking at the wall blankly “can’t sleep?” lizzie ask and y/n turned her head to the left to face with her best friend “nope” she replies and lizzie just nods. y/n bits her cheek indicting she’s anxious and thinking. “I can’t sleep either come here, we’ll watch a movie” the blonde girl said and she tap a spot on the couch to indicate y/n to sit next to her. y/n get out of the counter and walks towards her friend. She sit next to her and look at her hands fidgeting with them, “so what do you want to watch?” lizzie asks “I umh- can we watch uh, we can watch izombie?” y/n asked and she chuckled “course, come here” lizzie smiled, and y/n lied on her lap.
Lizie chuckled and turned on the show, I looked at her then at the tv.
I felt myself relax after about 4 episodes and fell asleep, she was playing with my hair and it made me feel safe.
When lizzie realized y/n was sleeping she allowed herself to do the same, so she turned the tv off and closed her eyes, falling asleep within 5 minutes.
Tom woke up when he didn’t feel y/n next to him as he tried to snuggle to her, he sat up and palmed his face. Walking down the stairs he saw lizzie & when he walked closer he saw y/n on her lap, snoring. He looks at her face and decide to go back upstairs, she is in good hands and nothing will happen to her. He walk back upstairs and lie back in his bed looking at the ceiling, he want for y/n to be okay. But he doesn’t know how to help, after an hour of trying to find a solution he fall back asleep.
5am: y/n wakes up and turn her music in her airpods on, listening to “when we all fall asleep where do we go” she remembers Billie, she hadn’t text her in a while and she feels guilty. She open Instagram and text billie
Texts-
y/n – hey bills, how are you ? I miss you so much but I have a surprise.
Billie- hey mamma! Im good what abt u?
y/n- fine, im fine thanks
billie – you sure?
y/n – yes!
Billie- okay, so what is the surprise?
y/n – I am planning in moving in LA :)
billie- wait, that’s awesome
y/n – yeah, it is I am so glad I’ll see you so often
billie – im glad, now im so exited when are you moving?
y/n – well I need to tell tom that im still moving so yeah
billie- wait he doesn’t know? What happened ?
y/n – can I call you it will be easier
billie- yeah of course e

end of texts:
billie called me and I walked on the porshe on the swing, I sat down and pressed ‘answer the call’ and put the phone to my ear. “hey, what’s up?” billie’s voice echoed in y/n’s ear before snapping back to reality. “hey, I uh” I paused “hey take your time” she reassured me “2days ago I find out tom cheated on me, so I had decided to move with lizzie in LA but then yesterday I was packing my stuff and tom faints and we got in the hospital and find out he overdosed, and I umh at the hospital I got raped while tom was having cpr” I explained to her “oh god im so so sorry love,” “and yeah I almost forgot, Tom didn’t cheat on me he told me that because he tought I wasn’t happy with him” I finished. “I I don’t know what to say, but you have to talk to a therapist, it’s really important”  she said and I nod “yeah I  should, im gonna call my therapist that I had when I was in LA” I said and she hummed. “okay, do you want me to flight to yours?” she asked me and I chuckled “it’s hours” I said and she scoffs “it’s no problem, tell me and I’ll take the jet” she said and I laughed “of yeah that’s right, I forgot you had a private jet” I chuckled and I could tell she was rolling her eyes right now. “I -I yeah I would-“ billie cut m sentence off “im coming, im doing my suitcase and im coming” she said and my eyes widened. “can we stay on the phone please?” I asked her and she agreed. We both turned put cameras on and I could see her doing her suitcase “just tell me, your in London right?” she asked and I nod “allright!” she exclaimed “you do know it’s like 9 pm in LA right?” I asked her and she squint her eyes looking at the clock, “oh yeah, it’s no problem. Wait you do know it’s like 5 am in London ?” she exclaimed and I laughed “I know” I laughed. “mom! Can I go to y/n’s? she needs me” billie shout from her room and I frowned, I saw Maggie walking inside billie’s room and she waved at me. “hey y/n!” she exclaimed “hi Maggie” I replied smiling at the camera. “how are you doing?” she asked and billie hit her leg and made a sign to zip it, “im fine don’t worry” I reassured Maggie and she smiled back at me. “mom, can I go then?” she asked again and Maggie looked down at the blonde haired girl. “yes you can” her mother smiled “thanks!” she made the lama voice and face, we both laughed and Maggie left the room. “okay, I just need to call paul so he knows” she said and I furrowed my brows, “paul is the pilot” she smiled. I nod and she looked at me “your gonna be okay mama” she said and I sighs looking at the street. “y/n, look at me. You will be okay” she repeated, and I nod my lips tucked in my mouth. “let me just call him and I will be on the road to come to yours.” She said and I smiled, she took a phone next to her and called paul. Saying she needed to flight to London as soon as possible, occasionally she looked at me and smiled. She eventually hang up and forced a smile “im finishing my suitcase and im coming” she did a little dance and I laughed. “good, so finish it! I want to see you” I exclaimed and she put her hands in the hair like I was arresting her. We talked till she was on the plane which was 15minutes later and I hung up. I looked at the sky and the sunrise was gorgeous, after I bit I fell asleep and rest.
Tom’s pov:
As I walk downstairs I don’t see y/n, so I walk upstairs I check in her room, in haz’s in the bathroom I look everywhere but I couldn’t find her. I start to panic and try to remember when was the last time I took my pills, and I can’t find to remember. I take my head in my hands and try to think where y/n could be, but I don’t know that either. I turned to take some coffee and look over the window and see foots on the swing, on y/n’s swing. Anger start to boil in my veins and I walk out of the house on the front of it. “excuse m- y/n?” I turn my behavior as I realise it’s y/n that is laying on the swing, I crouch at her level and brush a strand of her hair and press a kiss on her forehead. She wakes up and I look at her, “im sorry I feel asleep” she said instantly without opening her eyes, she sighs and open them “hey” I mumble “hey, how are you feeling?” she asks me “im fine” I reply. I take y/n in my arms and carry her bridal style in the house. “tom…” she mumbles her eyes closing “shh, it’s okay” I reply and she let herself fall asleep. I open her bedroom door and lied her gently down on her bed, I put her under the sheets and covered her with them. I opened her drawers to search for my pills, since I couldn’t find them. But I never thought I would find what I did…
I opened the drawer and found boxes pilled up, boxes that contained pills and blades, I looked over at y/n and shook slightly my head. I took the drawer out of the nightstand and walked out of the room with it. I walked downstairs and put it on the counter “goodmorn- what is that?!” lizzie exclaimed and I turned to face her “that’s y/n’s drawer and what is inside of it” I said taking a box to show it to her before throwing it again in the drawer. “wha-why- where is she?!” she asked worried, “she’s asleep in her bedroom” I replied simply, she walked upstairs and I followed her before she did something stupid. “lizzie stop” I whispered as I got at her level, “we can’t just do nothing!” she whisper-yelled, “just let her sleep, she needs it besides I’ll talk to her” I told her and she grinned at me. “what?” I asked as she was still looking at me. “you better go there with her and do something” she threatened and I sighs.
I walked in the room, closed the door behind me, walked closer to her and lied down taking her in my arms.
“Tom?” she mumbled and I looked back at her, “yeah?” I mumbled back “I need to talk to you” she said and I nod.
Y/n’s pov:
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again just for a second, “I’m moving in LA and Billie is on a flight to come over” I spit out and he let go a bit of me to look at me in the eyes. His arms now on my waist as we both sat up in front of each other, he looked at me confused like he didn’t understood what I had just said and I sighs.
“so your leaving?” he asks and I gulp, “yeah, I need to make my experiences and live my life.” I said and he shrugged his shoulders furrowunf his eyebrows. “then I’m coming with y’a” he said and I looked away letting out a big sighs then bitting my lower lip. “Tom you have your life here, you can’t love in LA that is crazy” I tell him and he shake his head.
“no, I have nothing exept you and if you leave… you can’t leave me” he said eyes glossed. “I’m not Tom, I it’s just a lot right now” I whispered, brushing my hand over his cheek and palming his features with my thumb, our foreheads glued together…
“so I’m moving with you” he said and I looked at him in desblief, “I-what about Harrison” I asked and he shrugged “I I don’t know” he confessed and I shook my head. “no Tom, I’m moving with lizzie in LA, your staying here with Harrison. I don’t want him to feel like he’s being abandonned” I said and tears flew his eyes “it’s not harrison that you are going to abandon but me” he said before walking towards the door, his palms turned into fists.
“Tom, when was the last time you took your pills?” I asked and walked next to him looking up at his face. “tom” I called him taking his hand slowly in mine.
“leave me the fuck alone” he said in an angry tone and I gulped, “Tom it’s me, look at me” I said, my hand making her way to his cheek.
“it’s okay, I’m here” I repeated till the moment I saw him relax and turning back into his true self. I took him in my arms and swayed us, “it’s okay, it’s okay I’m right here. I promise I’m not going anywhere without you” I mumbled in his ear. “you have to take your pills love” I said and played with his curls. “yeah…” he whispered and I walked him towards my bed, sat him down and gave the browned haired boy his pills. I sat on his lap my legs wrapping on his waist and facing him. I kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly, “I have a question” tom said and I looked at him “go ahead” I encouraged him. “why was your drawer filled with blades and pills?” he asked and I gulped looking away. “y/n?” he called me to have my attention, “I-I don’t know I found them and I needed to tide them away” I explained and he sighs looking down. “why didn’t you tell me?” he asked and I puffed my cheeks “it was when I was packing to move out… we were in a fight.” I trailed off, “y/n whatever is going on between us you can always talk to me, always.” He insisted looking straight into my eyes.
My phone dings and I look at the direction where the sound come from, I took my phone and saw a text from Billie. “I just need to answer this” I said and he sighs “yeah right you HAVE to” he said rolling his eyes “what is wrong with you?!” I exclaimed and he chuckled “you know what? Go fuck yourself!” he yelled and I looked at him right in the eyes. “get out! Now!” I yelled back and he smiled “with pleasure!” he replied and I sighs “were done”.