weird feelings

Part 24

Normal pov:

"your happy now?!" I yelled at her, she chuckled rolling her eyes. "I don't want to be there to find you when you'll be dead by suicide" she said and I break down in tears "yeah but I need you, I don't remember anything since 2 weeks ago and now you are mad at me about something I did almost my entire life, and I just told tom to go away! And now you want what in bonus? To leave me alone? You really think that's how I'm going to stay alive? Because it's not!" I exclaimed and she looked at me concerned but still mad. "How did I not see it? How didn't i?" she exclaimed and I hugged her tightly "no one knew before tom and Harrison" I whispered and she cried in my shoulder as I did. "haz woke up and looked at us, "what did I miss?" he asked in a tired and drugged voice. I laughed and sniffled my nose, "nothing, tom is home I guess and im gonna stay here tonight so you can go home if you want. "did something happened between you and him?" he asked and I sighs "at this point?" he asked and I nod taking a deep breath "all right im going home, im taking your car lizzie" he said "all right just take the blue one" she said and I plopped myself on the couch. "listen im sorry'" lizzie started but I cut her "please don't" I mumbled and she nod walking towards the couch. She sat next to me and I looked at her "I didn't wanted to tell you, cause I hate asking for help. I didn't wanted to tell you, cause I wanted to be able to get away from it without help." I said and she looked at me in the eyes, "it's okay to ask for help, but I understand you" she said and I sighs. She took me in her arms, "are you tired?" I asked and she hummed. I got up and turned off the tv, "all right let's go to sleep" I said and we tuned off all the lights and walked upstairs afterwards. I took off my joggers and my hoodie so I was in a loose t shirt, and climbed in lizzie's bed. I got under the sheets and looked at the ceiling letting tears escape my eyes. lizzie came next to me and sat down, "hey, it's gonna be okay" she said hugging me "no it won't, I just fight with you and I don't know if tom is safe or not, cause I fucking said to him to leave me alone" I said sobbing and she pat my back. "hey, it's okay here your phone. Call him" she encouraged me, I nod and unlocked my phone, I composed his number, but he didn't answered. I tried to call him at least 15 more times but he didn't replied. "oh god" I mumbled, "y/n, look at me" lizzie started "maybe his phone died or he put it in 'mute'" she tried to reassure me. "or he could be in danger" I whispered loudly. I called haz "hey, is tom home?" I asked stressing "is everything okay?" he asked and I sighs "just fucking tell me already haz!" I yelled "yeah, he is in his room" he said and I sighs. "all right, thank you" I thanked him and hung up. "he's home" I informed Elisabeth, "okay good, now come sleep you need it" she said and I nod. I put my phone away and lied back down in the bed, soon enough I felt asleep.

The next day:

I woke up, ate with lizzie took a shower and put some clean clothes on. "I'll see you soon, and take care of yourself" lizzie said to me trough my opened car window. "I will, I love you" I replied and she nod. I drove home and sighs in my car before getting out of my car, I got out and opened the front door. "im home" I shout from downstairs, haz jogged downstairs and hugged me "hey how are you feeling?" he asked me and I shrugged In response. "where is tom?" I asked and she pointed the ceiling "oh okay" I said and he shrugged lightly. I took my bags and walked upstairs, I opened my bedroom door and unpacked my bags while listening to music in my air pods. After I did that I lied on my bed facing my window and my back facing the door, i read a book, watched a movie, listened to my favorite music but nothing could distract me from tom so I got up and walked towards his door. I knocked on it, and I heard tom humming. I opened the door and popped my head inside his room "can I come in?" I asked and he sighs. "yeah" was his only word, I sat on the bed next to him and looked at him in the eyes. "im sorry for yesterday" I said lowly and he flickered his eyes to meet mine. He didn't reply, "I understand that you are mad at me and I get it, but please just say something" I asked him "I am not mad, but I am sorry you had to fight with lizzie because of me" he said and I looked at him "hey, no, it wasn't your fault" I said making him look at me, "yes but you aren't happy with me and I know, it I make you sad and I destroy you" he said fidgeting with my hands "are you in a depressive state, tom? I asked him and he sighs "I don't know but since you don't remember anything you are different even now. And I can't stop thinking it is my fault cause you are distant since that day" he explained and I took him in my arms "im here, and im not leaving, I love you" I whispered in his ear. "you do?" he asked and I looked at him "what do you mean? Of course I love you" I replied and he looked down "tom? What's happening?" I asked concerned "I umh, nothing. how was yesterday" he tried to change the subject. I took his hand in mine and he finally looked at me "tell me" I encourage him, "you can't love me" he said and I rolled my eyes "tom I already told you that I don't care you are ill, I lo-" he cut me off "no, I cheated on you" he said and I zoned out with a ringing in my ear, tears flew my eyes and I took my hands off of his. Time has lengthened and I saw all our parade memories, I wasn't moving and couldn't even look him in the eye. I took a deep breath and removed the emotions from my face, lifted my face and nodded in disgust.

I then got up and walked to the door, turning on my heels I knew tom was looking at me but I couldn't care less about him anymore. I turned my head one last time and said "lizzie was right just like Haz". I closed the door behind me and walked to my room.

14pm:

"knock, knock" haz mimicked behin my door "come on in" I said and he walked inside my room "hey.." he trailed and I sighs "im fine all right, if you could just go on internet and search for two flights tickets to Los angeles, that would be great" I faked a smile at the last sentence "y/n you don't have to leave" haz told me and I squint my eyes "oh yeah? Is tom moving then so lizzie can finally have the room I had always promised her!" I exclaimed "no, im not moving but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want you to go in la" tom said peeking his head out of my door "you got a lot of fucking nerve to tell me what to do" I exclaimed "im trying to protect you" he exclaimed "if you wanted to protect me you should of never came in my life at first" I shout. He flinched then nod his head slightly moving his eyebrows up and quickly down, then walking away. "god, now if you could do what I asked you?" I asked haz he sighs and opened my laptop, he booked myt flight and I texted lizzie

Texts:

Me- hey, we are moving out so start packing all your stuff

Lizzie- wait, what when, why?

Me- we are moving out (only the both of us) in 2 days, because tom cheated on me :)

Lizzie- oh no im so sorry

Me- anyway, it's in la the appartement I bought 2 years ago so yeah, and there is nothing there so you have to take everything

Lizzie- I umh okay

Me- I'll come help you tomorrow to pack the last things

Lizzie- all right, see you tomorrow

Me- see you

End of texts:

"thank you haz" I hugged him, "hey, don't forget that im here and if you need to call me because of your issues, you can" he whispered in my ear. I nod and got up to pack my things "so, are you going to help me?" I asked and he chuckled. "we put all my clothes except those for tomorrow and after tomorrow, in a suitcase. "all right can someone put some music!" I exclaimed, music began to appear from then hall and I turned to see tom in my door holding his speaker, I rolled my eyes "what do you want" I asked "I want to talk" he said and I chuckled "im sorry this is not going to be possible" I replied "y/n, please I just want to talk" he said and I shook my head. "all right, but first you have to help m- us packing my things" I said and he bit his inner cheek "I, well -" he started "you got a problem?" I glanced at him and he shook his head. "all right so get your ass up here, I need your help" I said and he walked towards me putting the speaker on the table. "so what can I help you with?" he asked "if you can dismantle my bed and my dresser, that would be cool" I said and he nod "of course love- im sorry" he said and I looked at him, I rolled my eyes Haz looked between us and raise his eyebrows in shock of the tension in my room. I sighs "okay, I'll be downstairs" I said and quickly left the room.

Tom pov:

"you really fucked up man" Haz said and I sighs, he looked at me "wait, you didn't-"Haz started "no I didn't, of course I didn't! but she isn't happy with me and now she don't have to feel obligated to stay with me because she promised she won't leave" I whispered and he sat on the bed shaking his head "you are the dumbest person in the world" Harrison exclaimed and I sighs. I walked downstairs and saw y/n sat on the couch drinking a glass of water. "look y/n, im sorry" I mumbled from behind her and she turned her head "but please don't move out, I -" I started "you what?" she asked annoyed "I- because I need you" I spit out.