Broken Kitten

We're Going to the Hospital

I wanted Chris. I wanted Josh.. I just wanted my head to calm down but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't control the thoughts. It felt like I was trapped and I so desperately wanted to escape but there was no way out. I clutched my pillow tighter as a small scream escaped my lips as I layed curled in a ball in bed. I forced myself to take a deep breath, taking in the smell of Josh's cologne that was all over our sheets and blankets.

It's okay.. Everything gonna be fine, Josh has to come home eventually and.. It'll be fine. I told myself.

It was just a hard day, I knew It would pass but in the moment it seemed like there was no end. Like the world might as well be over.

Tears soaked the pillow as they continued to run down my face, I just couldn't stop them.

It was the first day that I had been left by myself since everything had happened and well... I wasn't handling it the greatest... Clearly.

God knows how long I layed there crying untill I eventually dozed off, my body exhausted.

"Haven?!? Have- fucking thank god." I woke up to Josh's panicked voice. He came over and knelt down by the bed as Chris appeared in the doorway. "Don't fucking scare us like that angel." He mumbled, smoothing my hair back out of my face, pieces were caked to my face from falling asleep with the tears everywhere.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, unsure of exactly why they seemed so worried.

"What's wrong baby?" Josh asked, knowing something was off. I shook my head and forced my mind not to think about it. I didn't wanna cry again, my head was already pounding.

"I was calling and knocking for half an hour... Did you not hear anything?" Chris asked.

"I.. I'm sorry.. I think I fell asleep."

"You think? Haven, what's going on?" He pushed.

"I- I do-n't know.." I shrugged. Josh looked back at Chris before they both turned back to me.

"Were you asleep the whole time I was gone?" Josh asked.

"I'm.. Not sure. How long was it?"

"Baby I was gone for four hours.. How do you not know? Did you do anything while I was gone or did you just lay in bed?"

"I stayed in bed... Why are you guys asking me so many questions?"

"Because you're not acting like yourself Haven. Whats going on?" Chris asked.

"I'm fine..  I'm just fine." I assured them. But even they knew I was lying and I couldn't fool myself either.

Josh stood up and held his hand out. "Come on baby, lets go downstairs and get you out of bed." He spoke. I hesitated, not wanting to move. "Come on Angel. Get up." I grabbed his hand and he helped me out of bed. I felt a little weak, so I leaned on Josh for support as he helped me down the stairs. Once we were on the lower floor of the house we went to the living room and I sat on the couch, with Chris beside me and Josh knelt down in front of me.

"I need you to tell me what you did while I was gone Haven."

"I did nothing."

"Haven." Chris growled.

"Did you leave the house? Did you get out of bed? Drink anything? Eat anything?" Josh asked.

"I stayed in bed.. Why are you guys..?"

"Because you're acting odd." Chris spoke. "We both know that you're never this hazy and out of it."

"I've just had a bad day." I sighed.

"How'd you have a bad day if you did nothing?" Chris pressed, starting to irritate me.

"My minds just been getting to me, okay?!? Is that what you wanna fucking hear?!" I yelled at him, immediately grabbing my head as it started pounding and hurting even worse. Josh gently put his hands on my shoulders.

"Does this have anything to do with you know who?"

"I mean probably. But I don't know. Are you guys done now?"

"Did you take your medicine Havy?" Chris asked, causing me to let out a frustrated growl.

"Of course I fucking did. Though I don't know why I try, it doesn't work." I sighed as Chris got up and disappeared. I layed my head on Josh's shoulder as it felt like it was going to explode.

"Angel.. I think its best for you to maybe not be left alone for a while. I know you think you're a big girl and can handle it but... You're going through alot and I'd feel safer if you were always with someone.. Just for a little bit." Even though my pride begged me not too, I nodded my head and agreed. In all honesty I just wasn't ready to be by myself. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. I felt mad at myself and proud of myself all at once for doing something I always refused to do; admit I needed someone else.

"How many of these do you fucking take?" Chris yelled at me, shaking my pill bottle as he appeared back in the room.

"One." I rolled my eyes.

"Then why the hell is there only 19 left when the label says you just got this bottle five days ago. Haven!"

"I.. I dropped some."

"Fucking bullshit! Don't fucking lie to me, Haven!" He seethed.

"Alright, alright. Stop yelling at her Chris." Josh warned.

"Shes my fucking sister, stay out of this."

"And I'm her-"

"Yeah you're her fucking dom AND I'M HER FUCKING BROTHER!" He screamed.

"And yelling at her isn't gonna fix anything! It isn't gonna get her to tell you anything!"

"Like you would know." He scoffed.

"Please stop." I begged them. "My head is fucking pounding, stop yelling."

"Baby.. Tell us the truth." Josh begged.

" I took a couple, okay?" I confessed. "My dose wasn't working so I took a couple extra.. I just wanna feel normal again." I sighed, feeling some tears slip. "I'm tired of feeling so broken and fragile."

"Baby you cant do that. There's a dose on the bottle for a reason. Haven, you could've killed yourself."

-

"Alright, we're going to the hospital." Josh sighed as I layed on the couch.

"No, I'm f-fine." I protested.

"You're going. That's it." Chris didn't leave any room to argue. Josh came back in the room with my jacket, making me sit up.

"Please don't make me go.. I'll be fine." I pleaded with him.

"Baby I-"

"You are going Haven. Don't try to guilt trip him." Chris spoke firmly. Josh helped put my jacket on before helping me up.

"I don't need to go." I argued, pulling out of Josh's grasp.

"You don't know what you need." Chris rolled his eyes before coming over to me and picking me up. "I mean come on, you're shaking like a fucking leaf and I'm scared that if we let you fall asleep you wont wake up."

"You guys can't force me to go like this."

"I can and I am Haven. I don't want you to die, alright?"

We ended up going.. What a surprise and they ended up observing me overnight before sending me home to Chris.