Broken Kitten

I'll Make it all Better

"Josh, you need to get over here." I heard Chris speak into the phone as I layed curled up on the couch, crying my eyes out. It felt all too familiar and I couldn't take it. "Josh, just get here..Its Haven.. She needs you."

"Havy, please talk to me." Chris begged as he got off the phone. But I just couldn't. He tried his hardest to talk to me and calm me down but I just couldn't.

"What happened?" I heard Josh's voice over fifteen minutes later.

"I wish I knew. She wont even talk." Chris told him.

"Haven baby." Josh spoke softly as he knelt down in front of the couch. "Come here, Kitten. Everything's alright, daddy's here." He gently picked me up and sat down on the floor, placing me in his lap. I rested my head against his chest as I continued to cry. He held me tightly against his body as he rocked us back and fourth.

"P-pl-plea-se." I begged but I couldn't get the words out.

"Shhh, kitten. You're okay. Daddy's here and I'll make it all better." I shook my head against his chest. He didn't understand because I couldn't get it out.

"A-and-" I sobbed, not being able to speak.

"What is it Angel?" He asked, pulling back so that he could look at my face. "Kitten, I need you to take some deep breaths for me okay? You've gotta calm down so you can tell me what happened." He coached me thru taking a couple deep breaths and it worked to calm me down enough to be able to get more words out. "Now what is it Angel? What happened?"

"I- I went to g-get stuff and A-An-Andre-" I cut myself off with sobs.

"Andrew? What did he do?!" He immediately became enraged, but I couldn't blame him and I know the anger wasn't towards me.

"H-he was th-there and.." I hid my face in his neck, trying to push away the memories and thoughts that were popping into my head. I put my hand against Josh's chest feeling his heartbeat a little faster than normal. I focused on the fact that he was holding me and I knew that meant I was safe. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, taking in the smell of his cologne.

"And what my angel?" He asked, softer and calmer now that I was starting to calm down some. "He didn't touch you did he? You know Ill fucking kill him." I nodded my head, causing Josh to growl.

"That's it. You're not going back to that place ever again. We're moving your shit out and you can either come live with me or with Chris but there's no way in hell that I'm letting you go back- even if its to grab something." I didn't argue with Josh because honestly I didn't have the energy to.. But on top of that it was because I knew he always kept my best interest and my safety in mind and so I trusted him.

I trusted him with my body, I trusted him with my life, I just completely had trust in him.

"Hey Chris!" Josh called out, causing me to whine and cover my ears. "I'm sorry angel." He told me, smoothing my hair down.

"Yeah?" I heard Chris's voice moments later.

"She's not going back to that apartment, there's no chance in hell I'm letting this happen again.. We'll figure something out with her but.. I just cant."

"Haven knows she can stay here.. I don't mind her moving her stuff in..."

"I wouldn't mind her moving in with me, she practically lives with me anyways but I'm not sure if that's... A good idea."

"Lets just move her in with me for now.  And you guys can always figure it out from there." Chris told him.

"Is that okay kitten? Can we move you in with Chris?" I nodded my head, trying to focus on the positives of the situation so that it didn't set off my anxiety. Of course I was scared to give up my own apartment, the one place I knew I always had if I needed it. "You think the guys would help us out?"

"Yeah.. I'm sure if they're not busy they wouldn't mind.. Are we trying to do it today?"

"I'd like to.. Just so I know she's safe."

"What happened with him Havy?" Chris asked me. Josh slowly rubbed my back, keeping me calm and comforted. I shook my head, I couldn't make myself say the words. "Will you tell Josh if I leave?" He asked, I shook my head. "Would you tell me if its just me and you?" I shrugged. Even though I felt safer with and closer to Josh, I was scared of his reaction more than I was Chris's. Of course Chris was gonna be upset, but probably not as upset. Josh helped me up and sat me on the couch before kneeling in front of me. He rested his forehead against mine and cupped my cheeks in his hands.

"Please talk to him Angel. We've gotta know what happened, okay? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." He softly kissed me before leaving me alone with Chris.

Chris sat down next to me and put his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

"What happened Havy?"

"He-" The tears starting coming back, making it a little harder to speak. "I didn't want to.. B-but he ma-made me."

"You know how much Josh is gonna kill that fucker? Especially if you're trying to say what I think you are."

"I know I.."

"It'll be okay, Haven." He pulled me even closer and wrapped his arms around me. "I got ya little sis, everythings gonna be okay." Eventually we got up and went to the kitchen to be with Josh. I sat down on Josh's lap as Chris called Ricky. I was calmer now but I was still a mess. "Is my kitten sleepy?" Josh asked me, running his hands up and down my arms slowly. I nodded my head. I had cried myself into exhaustion. "How about I take you upstairs and get you into bed then, how about that?" I shrugged my shoulders. A part of me was so tired that I was okay with that... But at the same time I just wanted to be around Josh and Chris. As if he was almost able to read my mind he asked, "Or maybe I could get you comfy on the couch, would that be any better?" I nodded my head as he picked me up and carried me on his hip like you would with a child. He sat me down on the living room couch before disappearing upstairs, and eventually coming back into the room with pillows and blankets. I watched him as he placed the pillows on the couch before moving me so I was laying and placed the blanket over me. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Try to sleep, I'll be right back my angel." Despite my whines and protests he left the room and headed towards the kitchen. I drifted off fairly soon after.

"Haven..  Hav... Havy." I heard my name being repeated over and over again, waking me up. I groaned and turned away from the voice, causing him to laugh. "Haven, wake up before I get the water."

"Go away." I mumbled, snuggling deeper into my pillow.

"Kitten." I heard another voice, before I felt a pair of lips on my cheek. "Wakey wakey little one." I let out a small mew as I turned towards him, opening my eyes. "You can't just sleep all day." He joked. I reached out and wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to pull him down on the couch with me but he picked me up instead. "I need you up kitten. We've gotta start getting you moved.. After all its already past two.."

Once I was up things started moving pretty fast. A couple of the guys came over and we all headed over to the apartment. We spent pretty much the rest of the day packing stuff up and moving it all out. We even ordered take out to the apartment so we could take a quick break and all have dinner together. Even though we took everything to Chris's, at the end of the day I still went back to Josh's. After all that was home to me.

Which was crazy because I hadn't been staying with him for that long. But sometimes it doesn't matter how long you've been somewhere or been with someone, home just feels like home instantly.