Broken Kitten

Queen

"Hey, good. Its going good but uhh.. I need you to come get Haven. She's just not doing well this tour." I had went on tour with Motionless while Josh had stayed back home. I wasn't staying for all entire tour but most of it... Well unless Josh made me leave like Chris seemed to want.

"Why? What's going on?"

"She's not sleeping well.. If at all and she's just really wearing herself out. I think its best that you come and get her. I know she's not gonna want to leave but we've gotta put her health and safety first."

"Is she with you? Let me talk to her." I made no effort to move as I sat on the opposite side of the couch as Chris with my arms crossed over my chest. I wasn't exactly happy about him making me leave. Chris put his phone infront of my face and I was greeted by Josh, on facetime as he drove somewhere. "Hey baby.. What's going on?"

"Chris is making me leave tour." I rolled my eyes, not exactly happy about it.

"It's for your best interest." Chris tried to reason. I knew he was worried but it was something I felt I could work through. I'd be fine.

"Haven, if you're not getting sleep then you shouldnt be performing like that..  I think you should come home and rest. Maybe you can rejoin them later."

"You guys." I groaned. "I'll be fine."

"Haven. I'm coming to get you. Don't argue with me."

"When was the last time you got a full nights sleep?" Chris tried to prove his point. I wasn't going to lie infront of Josh.

"I'll get one tonight." I sighed

"Yeah you will, because you'll be sleeping next to me in a hotel bed instead of the bus so I can take you home with me after tomorrow's show." Josh spoke, his turn signal clicking in the background.

"Haven's leaving?" Ricky asked, walking in.

"Yeah.. Shes not really doing well. I think she's having a withdrawal from Josh." Chris teased. "Actually that and she's not use to the bus and touring anymore."

Chris and Ricky ended up going off together while Chris left his phone with me so I could keep Josh on facetime.

We talked as he went through a drive thru and grabbed a coffee, and as he drove to work.

He took the time to greet everyone when he walked in the shop, but still kept our conversation up. We talked for hours untill we all had to get ready for the show.

"Alright baby, I'll let you go. Have fun and rest up when its over. I'm grabbing some stuff from home after I close the shop and then I'll be on my way Angel."

"Alright." I sighed. I missed him, so I was more than happy to see him but I wasn't ready to leave tour. "I'll see you later I guess."

"Don't sound too sad kitten. We'll talk later, okay? I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye my love."

"Bye."

When the call ended I moped on over to the bathroom and put makeup on. Getting dressed afterwards.

"Look at my beautiful baby sister." Chris smiled at me after I was all ready. "Looking like a fucking queen." That was a nice way of saying I basically looked like a dominatrix.

"I look like I should be with Vinny." I joked, shooting shots at him to try to brighten the mood.

"Give me a break. I'm no-" Vinny started.

"You can't tell me you wouldn't get down on your knees for her. Shut the fuck up." Ricky shoved Vinny's shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure Josh would even be down, calling her mistress and begging for her." Vinny stated matter of factly.

"Okay and? Who wouldn't?" Ryan joined in. I'm pretty sure they were all just trying to distract me and keep the mood up.

"You could be my mistress any day." Ricky winked, completely kidding. Him and I were both in happy monogomous relationships. I pulled on my black leather knee high platforms as the boys finished getting ready.

"Alright. Are we set?" Chris asked, coming up beside me as I stood in the full length mirror, making sure I looked okay. I had on a black skin tight dress that was low cut and leather, with a black jacket over top and some mesh tights.  My prop and mask were on the table to grab as I exited the bus.. But I didn't feel ready.

I wasn't ready for this to almost be the end of tour for me.

"Havy." Chris spoke, making me look up at his reflection as he stood behind me. I noticed his phone in his hand as he put a hand over my shoulder and took a few pictures of us. Probably for memories. Maybe for the fans.

The show went well and afterwards we went back to the bus, taking turns getting showers before we all crashed and hung out in the main area of the bus.

"You know, we're all gonna miss you.." Ricky sighed, putting his phone down and looking at me while I layed across Chris lap while he texted his girlfriend.

"I'll miss you guys too.. Alot. I'll miss the shows and.. I don't wanna go."

"But you have to put yourself first Havy. Im never gonna stop trying to teach you that. Let's be honest with each other here. I know you arent getting sleep on this bus and without Josh. And you know just as well as I do that you need him, you need to be with him. You're codependent and you always have been. I understand it, I get you Havy." I sighed. I mean, he was right but that still didn't mean I wanted to go.

" I wish he wouldn't have quit the band.. Then I wouldn't be having to chose right now! How fucking dumb could he be?"

"Haven." Chris warned. "You dont mean that and youre just frustrated. You and I both know why he left and its the best thing for him. Don't get hung up on that." I sat up and layed my head on his shoulder.

"I just wish he was in the band so he'd be on this tour and I wouldnt have to leave."

"I know. But it is what it is and I mean.. This isnt the end of you touring with us. You just need a break to go get it together and come back to us."

Josh got in pretty late that night and hung out with all of us as a group for a bit untill it was time to go.

"Please Josh? Please.. I mean, it'll save us a drive in the morning and I promise I'll get sleep now that you're here. Please! Can we stay tonight on the bus?" I begged him. "Please daddy?" I whispered.

He looked at Chris, before looking back at me.

"I don't think your brother would appreciate that Hav."

"I don't mind.. Things have changed since the old tour days and I'm okay with you two.. You know that. If it gets her some sleep and some piece in mind then thats all that matters."

"Please, please, please, please." I repeated over and over.

"Fine Haven. But you have to get sleep." Josh caved.

And that night we settled into my bunk and he pulled me close.. We talked untill I fell asleep like the old days and everything felt so absolutely perfect. I wished I could freeze time and cherish those moments and hours forever.