𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰𝒔 𝑮𝒐𝒍𝒅| 3

32: Change

_Esquell, happy birthday babee🥺🔥🔥 cheers to you turning a year older🥂
*

Take me back to the days when I was younger
All this bullshit is overrated."
-Jon Bellion.
*

Kam

We were back to where it all began. Back at the beginning. The moon above us, the air around us and the sea, in front of us.

I touched her hair, my hands finding it's way through the coily two inch hair and looked into her wide, expectant eyes.

"It actually looks good," I whispered, inspecting the damage. "Do... Do you like it?"

She nodded and beamed at me. "I love it."

"Who did this to you, again?"

At this, she recoiled. Bit her lip. Avoided my gaze. Mumbled, embarrassed. "Three junior students. They cornered me in the girl's bathroom. They'd already done a lot of damage when Haliya walked in on them... She returned the favour."

My chest strained painfully. "Do you remember their faces?" I rasped, knuckling up my trembling fingers.

She shook her head, reached for her wig. "No. I wouldn't even want to."

I stared at her. She avoided my gaze, poked at the hole in her sweater. Her chin was trembling, she started gasping and wheezing and when I held her to me, she exploded into tears, clinging to me like I was her lifeline.

When she was mine.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I cry so much these days and it's so pathetic and I'm so pathetic and-"

"Hey, shh." I kissed away her tears, touching the tip of my nose to hers.

She hiccuped, choked on a sob. "God, you just lost your grandfather and you're listening to me talk about how I was bullied when we broke up."

"For the record, we never broke up." I quipped.

She laughed. Shook her head. "See, this is the thing about you. Please, don't change the topic Kam. Tell me how you feel. How do you feel?"

I sighed, fell back against the picnic blanket, pulling her down with me.

I inhaled. Exhaled. Puffed out a breath. "I don't know how I feel."

There was silence except for the crashing of waves and voice of the wind.

"I can't get the image out of my head. The horrible smell of death. I... I've never seen anyone get shot before and I... Fuck! I don't know, everything is such a mess."

"Go on..." She whispered.

"I..." I swallowed, squeezed my eyes shut. "My chest... There's something in my chest that feels like it's being ripped apart and torn to shreds. I can't breathe. I can't think. I feel powerless... And I feel angry for feeling powerless."

Her eyes were drawing the truth out of me.

"I feel... Numb. Alone." I swallowed. Whispered. "Scared."

I stared at her. Her sharp chin was resting on my chest, eyes like thunderclouds, stared back at me.

And then she leaned over, pressed a soft kiss to my lips. Leaned back, looked me in the eyes and whispered. "Did you feel that?"

"Yeah..."

"Good, so you're not numb. I just proved it."

"Yeah?" My hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her back to me. "Prove it again." I murmured, my eyes fluttering shut and finding her lips again.