𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰𝒔 𝑮𝒐𝒍𝒅| 3

15: Weak

Happy Valentine's day, guys!

*
I'm challenging you to write three love letters.
One, to God... Or Allah... Or whoever it is you worship.
One, to yourself, cos you deserve it.
And a third for someone you've not appreciated enough in your life.
I'm challenging you to not be unkind today. Can you do it?
*

Asa

After two weeks of preparations and special study sessions, Dynamis was officially a weekend away. I found myself anticipating the entire tour. I was confident in myself and in my team. I had never been happier.

Olanma was getting better and finally out of the hospital, Tasha was going back to school and we were going to be moving out of our cramped, insecure neighborhood by weekend, my grades were better than ever and my friends... My friends were quickly becoming everything to me.

Seeing as Kosi was somewhere in India, doing a photoshoot for India Teen Vogue, and Jemi was in Durban, wrapping up his under eighteen basketball career, I thought I'd be lonely and friendless.

But, I wasn't.

Detra was a godsend. She flowed easily with Amir and Dave... Jordan dropped by all the time when he wasn't prepping in the theatre. His humour and childish aura was everything. Osahon was nice enough to say 'hi' to me when we passed in the hallways and even took it upon himself, all the time, to ask if I needed a ride to the subway.

Besides the gang, there were a few faces whose niceness to me bugged me. Somma was quick to wave at me whenever she saw me in the hallways. She'd smile, wave shyly and quickly walk away. Zain had always treated me like a human being, even though she was Haliya's cousin... And Jahseh...

Jahseh was another.... Very interesting person. He used to ignore my existense before, so it surprised me a bit anytime he acknowledged me whenever he wanted to talk to his cousin.

These tiny action by these guys I never used to care about, I felt stuffed full with sunlight.

I was slowly finding myself. Slowly realizing who I was now, without Kam's radiating halo all over me. For the first time, I was coming to terms with who I really was without anyone dictating it to me. I wasn't Kam's girl or ice witch or new girl... I was Asachi Selene Dooshima. I was me.

The rumours were dying down. As long as I kept my head low and avoided attention, my days went pretty well.

In everything, watching Kam deteriorate everyday... It destroyed me. Sneaking glances at him everyday, following up behind him and never having the courage to call out to him... To see that smile, once ... Just once more.

His skin that used to be a healthy, bronze complexion now looked ashen and pale, the brightness in his eyes had stuttered out and he slept in class everyday. The teachers didn't call him out. No one bothered him. Everyone had heard the news and everyone felt sorry for the golden boy that wasn't so golden anymore.

He had lost hope. I knew he had lost hope because I knew what it was like to lose hope.

Seeing our relationship from a distant eye and a third person point of view made me realize everything that was wrong with our relationship. Everything we could have done better... Everything I could have done better.