A Music In My Heart (VA Series 3)

Forty Second

R-18. Reader's discretion is advised. 

Gwen

"We became too dependent with each other that time that we forget to love ourselves as well." I replied as Dos ended his story. And now I understand. I knew everything and I clearly learned the side of his story. Nalaman ko na hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan noon at ang nahihirapan kundi pati si Dos. Wala akong alam sa lahat ng nangyari sa kanya and I felt bad that he carried everything alone.

I wiped the tears that went down through his cheeks. I tried to smile to tell him that everything is fine now. We found ourselves and our longing hearts are now connected again. Hindi ko masasabing pinagsisisihan namin ang naging break-up namin noon. It was just too painful that time and it was too hard to keep on holding on. Oo, mahal namin ang isa't isa. Pero mahirap magmahal ng iba kung hindi mo maibigay ang pagmamahal na iyon mismo sa sarili mo. Kung hindi nangyari ang break-up namin, we will not be able to find our self-worth. We were not be able to love ourselves again and bring back the broken pieces of ourselves once more.

If not because of that break-up, we won't be ready to love each other again. So it's still a good thing na pinili namin ang sarili namin. Na pinili naming pakawalan ang isa't isa. Siguro nga, hindi naging madali sa umpisa. The emotions was too hard to contain but everything brought us to the right places where we should be.

"I'm sorry Gwen. I am sorry for not fulfilling all of my promises to you before. Sorry kung nasaktan kita nang sobra-sobra." He cried again as he was holding my hands.

"You don't have to be sorry Dos. You have your own reasons and I understand everything." I wiped his tears once more. "I also want to say sorry for letting you go through all that pain. Alam kong ayaw mo lang akong pag-alalahanin but it pains me by the fact that I should knew as well. I don't have any idea for the past seven years. Kaya sorry... I'm sorry Dos."

Niyakap naman niya ako nang mahigpit at ginawaran ko rin naman siya ng isang mainit na yakap. It was the warmth I was longing for all these years. Parang pakiramdam ko, palaging may kulang. But now, Dos just filled in the feeling of extreme longingness I am having. "Babawi ako love. Babawiin ko 'yong seven years na nawala sa ating dalawa. We'll be better the second time around."

"Yes Dos. We'll make up the seven years we lost."

 Tama nga sila. Mas madaling magmahal kung natuto kang magpatawad. Hindi lang ng iba kundi pati na rin ang sarili mo. Mas madaling magmahal kung natuto kang magbigay ng ikalawang pagkakataon. Mas madaling magmahal kung wala na ang lahat ng bigat ng nakaraan dahil nagawa mo nang palayain ang sarili mo mula sa pagkakatali mo doon. And now, I am able to love freely because I was able to set myself free from all of the pains I had in the past. Right now, I am more willing to give it a shot again. I am ready to love again. This Gwen has been strengthened by experiences, pains, worth and love.

"I'll work hard to earn you again. And this time, I will love you even more. Kung alam mo lang, I badly want you back to my life. Kaya lang hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula but Gwen, could you give me a second chance to love you again?"