CRUEL DRACO MALFOY
PANSY: When you're fourteen you don't know anything, well the blood that ran through my veins was pure so that made me someone. I could act the way I wanted but more importantly, say whatever I wanted too.
When you find someone equally as vicious as you, you think he's the one. And well Draco Malfoy our fourth year was intimidating, tall, and well so bad, at fourteen that's enough to make you lose your mind.
Draco and I just loved being able to be our true selves around each other, which was cruel.
DRACO: Yeah Pansy always had some comment to make, usually resulting in someone crying.
PANSY: So our fourth year we spent a lot of time being shitty, especially towards Harry Potter, Draco hated him, and to get him to like me so did I. Rita Skeeter always had an open ear, we would make up all sorts of things.
The lies I made up made him laugh, I mean it was like he was proud of me. We should've been worrying about the dark lord, we should've listened to those rumors, but when you're young you know absolutely nothing.
I believed I knew everything.
I wanted to be with Draco, he was just like me, plus I really thought I could marry him and make everyone proud.
DRACO: I asked her out to the yule ball as a bet.
THEODORE: Yeah we wanted to see who would lose our virginity first.
PANSY: I remember how happy I was when he asked me, I wrote to my mother, I had a custom dress made, it would be everything I had wanted. And well Draco seemed excited too.
People in Slytherin house were jealous, I was going to the ball with him, me.
When you're young you sort of find your crew, especially when divided into houses you find people just like you, and well it feels like you finally belong. With Draco, I felt as if I did.
DRACO: I'm not going to say I didn't feel anything for her, because I did, she understood me and no one really had ever even tried. I'm not proud of a lot of the things I did back then.
PANSY: The Yule Ball was all I lived and breathed for, I dropped ten pounds in preparation. I thought things like that mattered.
The night of the ball he didn't even pay attention to me, just his friends. I had to drag him to dance with me.
"Fine Pansy one dance, that's all"
I put my head on his chest as we swayed back and forth. He was so smooth with the way he moved.
He wanted to leave the ball so quickly and it sucked, I had been looking forward to this for months only for it to last two hours.
THEODORE: He won the bet.
PANSY: I had high hopes on what loosing my virginity would look like. Roses and with a man who loved me. He would tell me right before.
Draco didn't. He asked me once if I was okay and that was all really.
He was thin so he didn't feel suffocating over me at all, just pain. I remember biting my lip from the pain so badly I peeled the skin off of my lip.
Not the only part of me that bled.
And I remember feeling so uneasy for weeks, like it didn't really happen, that couldn't be all. And it really sucked after too. I wish I could give it a better description but 'sucked' sums it up perfectly.
He slowly stopped talking to me, not that we stopped 'dating' more like all he wanted to do was have sex.
I now had something he wanted. And he would put up with me for it.
DRACO: I asked her to be my girlfriend, I had so much pride that I didn't want to be the guy that slept around, at least now I was doing it with my 'girlfriend' it added some sort of class.
PANSY: Pureblood women are made to be owned. I know that sounds backwards, especially now. Even in the 90's feminism was around but it never reached pureblood society.
I mean the wizarding world never worried about that sort of thing, it was a Muggle thing to think women weren't as smart or strong.
And I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself, we are bred to be owned but we are strong and our husbands know it, they just like us to act.
For example Walburga Black. Everyone trembles at the sound of her name. She was power. And she was a women.
So a lot of people in our world would be considered 'anti feminist' even Hermione Granger wasn't a feminist. She hated any women that got close to Ron, look at how she treated Lavender Brown.
That's besides the point, at fourteen when a blonde, tall, pureblood ask you to be his girlfriend. You say yes.
You ignore the fact that he's cruel and cold and just say yes.
BLAISE: Draco and Pansy were. Let's just say they were something else.
THEODORE: Draco really started this whole thing, he's the one that shattered her heart.
PANSY: We lasted for awhile. And it was all because of me. I fought so hard to keep us going strong, it was as if keeping us together was my hobby. It was all I did in my free time.
DRACO: Pansy made me feel wanted. I had never felt that feeling before. I became addicted to that feeling. And well Pansy probably really loved me.
PANSY: Yeah you could call it love. That's if you had to call it something. And well the real story started our fifth year.
This is the part that needs trigger warnings.
DRACO: I rather not go into detail about our fifth year.
THEODORE: No comment.
BLAISE: No comment.
DAPHNE: No comment.
PANSY: The dark lord returned. I would have traded my last name for anything. Would've traded it all for way less.
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