The Seven Boyfriends Of Pansy Parkinson

019

PANSY: Christmas passed. New Years passed. I thought I would wait until after the holidays to tell Theo.

I wasn't ready for any of it. I didn't want to have that conversation.

THEODORE: I was excited I mean she finally wanted to sit down and talk. I thought everything was finally coming together.

That was until I saw her. She was skinny as she always had been. No bump. She was supposed to have a bump by now.

PANSY: He couldn't even look at me.

"Pansy why would you do that"

"Pansy how could you be so selfish, I told you I wanted to keep it"

"Pansy I already bought you a ring"

I didn't cry, I actually just stared at him as he started yelling in my face. I knew he was more hurt than anything so I didn't yell back.

Then well the conversation became "We could still get married"

"Pansy we'd make everyone so proud"

"We'd be continuing our blood lines Pansy come on"

I couldn't say anything.

THEODORE: I just wanted her to give us a shot. Maybe we didn't work and we'd break up. That would've been fine I just wanted her to at least try.

I wanted to move on. Leaving Ernie was the hardest thing I had ever done. I still don't think it was the right thing for me to do.

Sometimes love isn't enough. Love can't fix everything and I remember feeling so lied to.

People swore love was what made the world spin. I loved Ernie yet we couldn't be together and I needed someone to tell me why.

Because he was a man and so was I?

That shouldn't have mattered he was the only person who got to know me and loved the parts that he knew. But I ruined everything. 

I needed Pansy and I to work because then it was all for nothing. I lost the great love you only get once for nothing.

PANSY: "I'm sorry Theo, some times things don't work out the way we want them to" I told him and I left.

I wasn't responsible for his feelings.

We are all our own people. We all feel things different ways. We all have the right to be upset or hurt over certain things.

Theo was his own person I couldn't make him feel any sort of way.

See that's how I felt about other people. That didn't apply to Mor and I.

Her feelings were mine and her thoughts were mine as well. Viceversa.

When I arrived home she was there reading a letter. "My father, he found me"

I remember she didn't want to talk about him ever. "He left there's nothing much else to say. Things got hard and he left"

She made it sound so simple and I knew it couldn't have been. Nothing that life changing is that easy.

"What does the letter say?"

"He's reaching out, apparently he works near here and says he just knew I was his daughter" she crumbled tbe piece of paper.

"Mor"

"He has more children and apparently he's a good father now"

"Isn't that a good thing, now at least he's staying in their lives"

She pulled out a cigarette "why wasn't I worth changing for? Tommy got taken away because we weren't good enough to change for"

I wrapped my arms around her. She was warm and still smelt like peaches and smoke.

"You turned out just fine without him, Tommy did too, you've always been enough" I reminded her.

I was a believer that god or whoever was up there made each person with a specific person to match.

But that person isn't the same. I believe soulmates have everything you need and everything you lack they have and more importantly are willing to give.

Morrigan gave me everything that was good.

I gave her confidence, I reminded her that she belonged.

Growing up I knew the magical world was my own. She always told me she never felt like she belonged. It made me sad when she would say that because it was our world, a world we shared together and still she felt like an outsider sometimes.

Anyways, I believe when god made me they made Morrigan as my matching pair.

I sometimes thought about it as two coins being tossed forced to find each other. Suffer without each other.

Meeting her ended all suffering and illuminated the stars in the sky.

Ever since I met her I had this feeling of 'There you are, I've been looking for you'.

We were going to travel the world together, her achievements were mine. Their album was still at number one month later and Morrigan was on top of the world. She took me with her.

I knew she deserved all the good things happening to her. She was a good person. I wish the math were that simple. Be good receive good. Sadly most times it is not, the best people go through the worst. And yes it's unfair. But sometimes good things will happen to bad people like me.

Mor was my good thing.

Valentine's Day we were going to have brunch at a cafe near our apartment, she had been at the studio and I spent the morning reading.

I could see her from afar. She was sitting outside, wearing her leather jacket.

The closer I got the more I noticed there was a man sitting there in front of her.

I walked closer. She was crying. Looking down crying.

She looked at me and I noticed everything had changed. She had never looked at me like that before. My stomach sank.

The man got up. He turned towards me.

My world ended in those seconds. I could've sat down on that floor and cried as well.

Theodore Nott.

He walked past me and whispered "I'm sorry Pansy sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to"

Nothing would ever be the same.

In that moment I could feel time moving.