Alternatives // Loki FF

【𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕】

TW: sexual abuse!

Tears threatened to run over my cheeks, but I stopped them. I wouldn't cry in front of anyone, especially when this 'anyone' is Loki. I gave my best to hide the fact that I was having a panic attack, but Loki had already noticed. He let my sweater back down and looked me into my eyes for a few seconds until I broke the eye contact and started walking around nervously in the room. 

Breathe. Just keep breathing. Don't show him how weak you are. For god's sake, calm down!, I mentally yelled at myself.

But instead of calming down, it got worse. I was afraid I might die because I couldn't breathe right and that wasn't helping. I was lost in my mind, still walking around, shivering and breathing uncontrollably uneven when Loki grabbed my wrist and made me stop.

,,Look at me.", he said surprisingly calm and I obeyed.

,,Now breathe with me. In and out, just like that." He started breathing loud so that I could hear it and every time when he took a deep breath in, I tried my best to do so, too and when he exhaled with a relieving sigh, I did so with a shaky voice.

,,You don't need to be afraid right now, not of me or anyone e-"

,,Right now? So right now you're not considering to kill me? How humble of you, thank you, King. What is wrong with you? Like- like seriously what is wrong with you? First you kidnap me and break your promise of letting me return home, then you make me walk through a cave for days or maybe even weeks! I can't tell because I don't even now what day or time it is! I am injured, hungry, thirsty, tired and-" Scared, alone, homesick, sad.

,,And all you do is playing king, threatening to kill me, tell me how weak I am and kill others! Oh my god, you killed someone! It was gross and-"

I suddenly stopped, for I realized that I was yelling at him and let out my anger, while he just looked at me.

,,Done?", he asked without showing a hint of pity, anger, or anything else. 

I had no idea what he was going to do now, so I just nodded.

,,Good. Now tell me what caused the attack."

,,Why would you wanna know that?"

,,I don't want you to have these. You need to stay focused or you won't be able to continue your researches about the Alternative Bifrosts."

,,You want me to continue them?"

,,Don't avoid my question, mortal."

,,That's a really hard question...maybe because I'm on an alien aka giant planet, got kidnapped by a god, as I mentioned before and was just freaking out!", I snapped.

Loki came dangerously close to me and in his eyes I could see the anger, which made me swallow.

,,Take care of how you speak to me. I allowed you to let out your anger, so that you would stop annoying me with breathing so horribly loud and walking around all the time, but now I won't tolerate you being disrespectful. You might not be from this realm, but for now you live here, what makes me your king and you, mortal, are just my pet. So stop whining and complaining and be grateful that you won't end up as food, thanks to me."

Okay, what? How arrogant could a person be to say something like that? 

Now, I was completely done with him. I relaxed my face and now the after effects from my earlier panic attack were gone. I felt nothing, but anger, hatred and the urge to hurt Loki.

,,Answer my question."

,,No."

Loki did his intimidating evil laugh, but I stayed calm. If he was so annoyed of my breathing, why not make it stop? Ending my life would surely spare me a lot, so I decided not to be afraid of dying anymore. What more could I lose? It'd be his loss not mine and e- It would be his loss...