Sentry of The Wounded Heart

CHAPTER TWELVE

I've seen him being jealous. I've seen him getting annoyed. I've seen him being the man of kindness like how the people talk about the good things in his actions. But I never see him in the rage of anger, and never even see him scared of something he fears the most.

Now, as I looked at him in this flyover wherein we were surrounded by the city lights that almost covered the nighttime, suddenly a cold breeze of the city wind blew on my bare skin. A realization quickly entered my mind like a sound of a bomb that awakened my curiosity; just like this place, I wanted to see and feel his dark sides too.

"Kanina pa kita napaghahalataan. Why are you looking at me that way?" his forehead creased in confusion, but his tone sounded like a shy boy asking something to his crush. Namumula pa kasi ang dulo ng tainga nito.

Inalis ko ang tingin sa kaniya at napatingin sa mga rumaragasang sasakyan sa ibaba.

"Wala lang. I'm just curious about you," nagkibit ako, inobserbahan ang reaksyon niya.

"That's kind of odd," he almost whispered.

He slowly shook his head as if he heard something unbelievable.

Pumalumbaba ako at muling tumingin sa mga sasakyang dumadaan. Tila nakahanap ako ng tanong sa mga sasakyang wala naman akong alam.

"I wonder... who is Salem when he's too scared and angry?" I whispered through the air. In my peripheral vision, I saw him staring at me. "You think you'll be able to let me see the darkest side of you?" I asked, staring at him intently without even blinking once.

Inalis niya ang tingin sa akin at muling napatingin sa harapan. His eyes were deeply searching for something on the road, too, and he took a deep sigh.

"You won't be happy if you see me in my darkest state, Ez. I'm afraid of what your reaction will be after seeing the worst in me." His tone is serious and in depth of terror and uneasiness.

"You think I will also be happy if the only thing I can see in you is your good qualities?" I retorted. "Ibahin mo ako. Mas gugustuhin kong makita ang hindi magandang katangian ng isang tao."

"You can't force someone to show their darkest side, Ez. Worst only came out naturally."

"I know. That's why don't hold your anger when you're with me. Show it as how it wants to be shown. I wanted to see your face inflamed by madness. Can you do it?"

"But why?"

I slowly sighed between my normal breaths.

"Except for the fact that I'm looking for the answer to myself by asking you to show your dark sides. It's because of my new reason; it's better to see the bad news first before seeing the good news. I can guarantee without doubts that there's light after the darkness domination."

People always look for the good things and choose to ignore the bad things. Sino nga ba naman ang matutuwa kung halos puro pighati at paghihirap lagi mong nakikita?

There's no problem with wanting only good for us. The problem is we are ignorant to face the unfortunate challenges of life. Gusto kasi ng mga tao iyong walang paghihirap, iyong madali lang, and I think this is the major problem that cannot be resolved somehow.

Life in this world will never be easy, but we should face the cruelty of the world and make a realization of what the world wants us to know about life.

"But what will you do after you witnessed me in grief and worse in anger? Do you think you'll be able to refrain yourself from being shocked and feared over my impurities, Ez?"

His words got me into silence. Naging blanko bigla ang utak ko at hindi ko mai-compose ang isasagot.

Will I really be prepared to witness the worst in him? I will never know the answer.