Always You

Didn't Get Far

Emily POV

Having stayed away for a couple of hours I had calmed down considerably and having had time to think about it I know I should never have walked out like that but I just didn't want to talk about it.

Pulling up outside the hotel I take a deep breath, I may have been gone a while but I actually didn't make it any further than the arena carpark round the corner. I know by now Randy is probably worried sick and I have a lot of apologising to do.

Slowly opening the hotel room door I step into the room closing the door behind me.

"Oh my god!" Randy gasps rushing over to me and pulling me into his arms "baby where the hell have you been I've been worried sick"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have walked out like that" I say holding him tightly "I didn't get far just the arena car park round the corner"

"I'm sorry too I shouldn't have pushed you when you said you didn't want to talk about it" he says

"Randy there's something I need to talk to you about" I sigh and I feel him tense up

"What is it?" He asks looking worried

Taking his hand I walk us over to the bed and we both sit down

"Before you came back from the bathroom my mum told me that I would be no good as a mother and it played right into the fears and doubts I already had" I say "I want to be a mother and I want it to happen with you but Randy I'm terrified"

"What are you scared of baby?" He asks

"I'm scared that I'm going to be just like her, I'm scared that I'll do to our children what she did to me" I say "I know that sounds crazy but half my dna is hers there could be a chance...."

"Let me stop you right there" Randy says crouching in front of me and taking my hands in his "Em do you think I would have let you anywhere near Alanna if I thought for one second you were anything like her?" He asks and I shake my head "exactly, you are nothing like her Em and you have proven that time and time again, you are amazing with Alanna and you will just the same with our children, baby there is no doubt in my mind that you will be a perfect mother"

"You really think so?" I ask wiping my eyes

"No I know so" he smiles "I love you Em" he says and he appears to brace himself

"I love you too Randy" I say and he let's out the breath he'd been holding "What's wrong?" I ask

"When I said it before you didn't say it back" he sighs "I wasn't sure if you would say it this time, I wasn't sure how you felt"

"Randy just because I didn't say it doesn't mean I don't love you" I say taking his face in my hands "there is nothing that would ever stop me loving you"

"Promise me you won't walk out like that again" he says "I was worried, your dad was worried......oh god your dad I need to let him know you came back or he'll be on the next flight out" he says standing up and looking for his phone.

"Let me do it" I say getting my phone and dialing my dads number

"Emily Louise Calaway where in the blue hell have you been" he answers

"I'm sorry dad I never meant to make you worry" I say

"Honey I'm your father worrying is what I do" he says "now what did that psycho say to you?" He asks

"She said I'd be no good as a mother" I say

"She said what!" He gasps "she's got some god damn nerve saying that to you, don't you listen to her she's talking out of the hole of her ass"

"Dad do you think I'm anything like her?" I ask and Randy gives my hand a squeeze

"Don't you even go there" he says "you are nothing like that woman, everything about you is 100 percent me. I know what you're thinking and it will never happen, you don't have it in you. Honey I've seen you with Randy's little girl and trust me you were born to be a mother"

"Thanks dad" I say "I'm sorry about tonight, I love you"

"All I need to hear is that you and Randy are good" he says "and I love you too honey"

"Yeah we're good" I say smiling at Randy "in fact we're better than good we're great"

"Good now you go spend whats left of the day with Randy and I will speak to you soon" he says

"Alright bye dad" I say and we end the call

"Let me guess" Randy smiles "he said exactly what I did"

"Well not exactly" I laugh "but along the same lines yes"

In that moment I realised that maybe I had been over thinking things becuase the two most important men in my life have told me the same thing and no body knows me better than them.