XLV.

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I WANT TO LOOK 

AT SOMEONE ELSE'S

BEAUTY WITHOUT

QUESTIONING MY OWN.

.

sometimes i think

about max.

and how she 

left an impact on my life

so large.

she changed the way

i saw things.

and god i don't think

i'll ever forgive her for leaving.

but i don't blame her,

i would resort to the same thing.

but sometimes,

during times like these,

where i buy books so i can

find something worth

reading.

i think of her.

she would tell me that humans

were walking pieces of art

and i thought so too

for a time

before humanity was stained black

from my mothers words

and her bruises.

my breath is shallow

as i pay

and i don't know

why.

the clerk eyes

me.

pretty hair

pretty eyes.

i smile and pay.

i

go

back

to

the 

hotel.

when i get there

i find myself smiling.

at the blush

that had settled on his cheeks

when our

eyes

met.

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