I AM TERRIFIED THAT I'LL FALL IN LOVE.
I HAVE SEEN TO CLOSE JUST WHAT IT DOES.
.
they sent us back to our rooms around
one am and i invited liam to mine and
i think he assumed that i wanted to fuck
but for once i did not and this worries me
i wanted someone to hold so they could not
break.
he is drowning and it's easy to see as he staggars
through his words.
we woke up to a knock on the door and
he smiles at me
but i don't return it.
worried that something is corrupting my heart.
i open it and it is zayn and he says we should go
out and just take the day, and that niall is still sleeping,
at least, he thinks.
i smile and liam leaves, i tell zayn to take him to his room.
liam looks oldly sad,
and maybe it's because of me and i don't know.
i step into the shower a few minutes later
letting the water beat down on my back
and unfurl the knots in my muscles.
my hair touches my shoulders and beads of water
roll down my cheeks.
or maybe i'm crying.
i can't tell.
there's this feeling in my chest
like if i lost any of these boys
i wouldn't be the same
and that's the scariest thing.
because i know it's true.
and i feel as if i've done the wrong thing
as if i've become a stick of dynamite
burning now at both ends.
that they'll leave me here,
a l o n e.
like everyone always has,
but there's this other part of me,
that tells me that they will stay
and never leave
not because i made them feel better,
but maybe i've given them a makeshift home.
i take the shampoo and run it through my hair
my fingernails hitting my scalp in the best way.
i wash my body slowly, calm circles.
i look downward, watching my torso
expand and contract
my tattoos moving with them.
i smile at the butterfly.
drunk when i got it, obviously.
"there
are
butterflies
in
my
tummy."
i giggled at the man.
he smiled at me.
and here we are.
i make sure all the soap is off
of me and i dry off quickly.
i put on a green shirt and some
jean shorts
with some chacos.
i find some sunglasses
and then i go to fetch zayn.
what
a
wonderful
day
it
will
be.
YOU ARE READING
HURRICANE
Fanfiction[ larry; completed ] he was just a hurricane of self destruction, troubled by the ghosts of his past, devoid of the color that he once possessed. yet he lives on, walking with the universe on his shoulders...
