XCIX

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I DON'T REALLY

B L A M E 

YOU FOR BEING

D E A D 

BUT YOU CAN'T

HAVE YOUR

S W E A T E R 

BACK. 

when i wake up, there is warmth all around me. 

when i open my eyes, 

i see that it is zayn, liam and niall, all snuggled

into this bed with me. 

i smile softly and it makes me cry. 

am

loved.

i

am

finally

loved.

liam is facing me, sleep draped

over his features, 

and i pull him close to me. 

he awakes with a start,

and my shivering body revels in his warmth.

his arms wrap around me in realization

and my shivering turns to heaving and shaking

and silent crying. 

it is soon that niall, who is behind me, snuggles

closer to me.

they

all 

knew. 

"i

love 

him.

love

him.

i

love 

him.

and

it

was

too

late." 

liam shushes me and holds me closer. 

i feel zayn's sturdy hand on my shoulder. 

i have never been surrounded by love like this. 

i have never felt like i couldn't go on,

despite being loved by all of those around me.

this

is

the 

end

this

is

the

end

"s'gonna be okay harry." 

liam whispers. 

"s'gonna be okay." 

my anxiety pulls at my bones

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