the line between you & me

memory

Many, The Void, and The Break

You were many:
Strong
Handsome
Charismatic
Intelligent
Witty
Hilarious
Kind
You were many things to me:
My best friend
My anchor
My therapist
My partner
My captain
My lover
You were many things I wished you weren't:
Liar
Broken
Cheater
Deceiver
Alcoholic
Manipulator
Narcissist

The void between us was:
Slow
Deep
Shallow
Open
Lost
Terrifying
Inevitable
The void didn't ask for permission. Instead:
It crept into our bones
It struck our veins
It perpetrated our conversations
It burned our roots
It destroyed our love
The void found its way via:
Anxiousness
Fear
Insecurities
Poison
Death

The break between us was:
Aching
Selfish
Medicated
Painful
Relieving
Sorrow
The break lasted longer than:
The summer
The winter
The autumn
The spring
The calendar
The script
The song

I loved you through the many, and
the void and
the break and
I miss you
Because my soul is still
In love with you
And every piece of you
And the way you kissed me
Touched me
My breasts
My legs
My soul
In love with
Your voice
Your smell
Your smile
Your eyes
Your soul

My heart belongs to you and the way you
Said my name with sweat dripping down
Sang to me as my tears ran dry
Whispered love letters when you were drunk
Ducked your head into my chest at night
Fell back into my love even when you had others

And this void cannot be filled; this break cannot be mended
Not to be dramatic... because I believe in you
And the man you can still be
And the internal battles you're facing?
I still want to help you win

You were, and are many things to me
I will always love the secrets,
The ones we shared and the ones we held back
My body will always crave you
And the cravings I always thought you'd give me

You are my many, my void and and my break
Always.