the line between you & me

first

I wish I could say that this is the last ode I'll ever write about you,
But I know that I'd be fooling no one
God strike me down in fear of lying about this ache,
And forgive me for always blaming him for my indecisive mistakes

A part of me stayed behind when I left you high and dry,
I had no idea that I'd cut you so deep and so wide.
Incapable of handling anymore disloyalty,
I kissed him so hard in hopes my love for you would dissipate.
The wind whistled and howled as I screamed at the moon,
Hoping I could change my whole life with that disastrous monsoon.
Soon after I found that you were not in him,
I turned to my own form of unfaithfulness and whim.

I was man enough to own up to my mistakes,
But I was stuck in the time when your mistakes made me break.
So easily intrigued by your voice and your soul,
I parted ways with everything that you stole.
Except for my heart, it was yours from the start,
And now I'm recovering from a love so deep and so strong,
So bold and so reckless,
A love so far from normal that you longed for an escape,
I guess that's why it hurt so much when you drank.

Months flew by and I won't dare say it doesn't,
The hurt still lingers in the back of my mind.
Some days it crawls slowly, like a disease with no cure,
And other days it stays in the box on the shelf, doesn't even stir.
I'll tell you the truth, because I'm done with the lies,
That you were my first, my god, and my heart,
Wrapped in military clothing and a smile so pure,
That I still haven't found the equivalent, and never will I'm sure.

My response won't come all at once so forgive me for the brief,
But I know that at some point I'll find what I seek.
You provided me growth, prosperity and passion,
And you loved me so much that you weren't even a lesson.
I see you in songs, in my words, and in material things you despised me for.
You still hold a piece of me, and I used to want it back, to hold it and keep it safe,
But I know that you need it, because to you my love was the key you needed to believe.