the line between you & me

anger

I seen the pictures you liked while we were sleeping next to each other;
I noticed how she looked similar to your ex;
Was I even enough for you?
Was I just a distraction?
Maybe my instincts knew,
And that's why I began to fall back;
Why would you gaze upon another woman's picture, when you'd scold me for doing the same with a man?
Why are you competing with me,
We're just trying to learn to live without each other again;
I'm barely holding on, and somehow you continue to break my heart even after I've left.
Perhaps I should've stayed;
At least the pain would've been suppressed.
At least I wouldn't have had to keep blaming myself.
I miss your smile;
I hear your laugh in the shadow of the halls;
I'm sinking into the abyss of you.
I can't sleep.
All I hear is the memory of your breathing.
It angers me; it boils my blood to accept that I was so in love with you that I don't feel I can live without all of you.
I don't want a goddamn memory. I want to hold you and kiss you and see you smile at me.
But it never stayed consistent.
I think I was addicted to the inconsistency of what your comfort brought me.
I'm sorry for what I've allowed to transpire;
I made myself a liar, a cheater, a deceiver.
Much like other times, I loved you more as I walked away; I'm not okay.
I hope you're okay. I hope you'll be happy.
I love you, always.