𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍 ↷ genshin impact x reader [✓]

# "放棄された" ⤷ chongyun

❝ seek happiness, not perfectionism ❞

. selected route ; 放棄された (abandoned)

chongyun . frozen ardor

. scenario - in which chongyun comforts you through a difficult time

. music - gotta be a reason : alec benjamin

tw. depressive language

.

YOUR TIRED LEGS gave out as you came crashing to the muddy floor of Wuwang Hill. You laid there, feeling the raindrops hit your bare arms. The weather was dreary, caliginous. A dark haze lays low, close to the forest floor. It scenically depicted your own mind— a inky fog that clouded any clear thoughts.

You were tired, exhausted of everything the world has thrown at you. Tired of chasing after unattainable goals. Tired of trying to meet your parent's expectations. Tired of the world telling you what to do— you were sick of it all. You wanted it all to disappear into the pitch darkness.

You possessed no thoughts of the world until recently, when it finally broke you. Everything you did was for the sake of others, you had no conscience for yourself. Other people dictated every little thing you did; what you wore, how you must behave, what you ate, everything.

You chose to run away from it all and perhaps, those expectations wouldn't chase you. But the voice in your mind began to chastise you, scolding you for running away from your problems. You were the eldest, firstborn child of your family— expected to be the very best yet the world failed you. You didn't want to live for the sake of others, you wanted to live a free and happy life and yet you stayed and obeyed their words. You preached of freedom, of originality, and being an individual but in the end, your own hypocrisy consumed you.

You sprinted, running away and teleporting to the farthest place where no one would bother look. A place where only one would know you'd be at. The only individual who understood you and feared nothing of the ghostly presence of Wuwang Hill.

Through the mud, you trekked to a nearby tree and sat beneath it. You leaned back, pressing your back against the wood as the dewdrops dribbled onto your face.

Anxiety rose in your chest, ready to spill over like a overfilled sink of water. You kept all your emotions bottled up, withholding it for you alone to bear witness to the ugliness. Everything you've kept to yourself threatened to escape— an overturn of emotion bubbled over.

You broke out into a pathetic laughter, a defeated laugh that embodied every set of emotions in you. Anger, confusion, self hatred, defeatism— you were disgusted with yourself. The murmuring voice of your mind began to criticize your choices, serving as your worst critic. You weren't perfect, you were nowhere close to obtaining that sort of perfectionism that seemingly everyone around you sought; that perfectionism you desperately wanted.
Perhaps, then, people would assign you some sort of worth and value.

"(Y/N)!"

You slowly lifted your head, vision blurred over with a wet mist. Blue, your eyes saw blue. The smell of familiar vanilla and bergamot filled your nose as a warmth enveloped you, wrapping around you tightly. Tears threatened to spill over as you clung to the blue-haired exorcist, holding onto him tightly in fear that he would slip away from you.

"C-Chongyun..." You broke, voice hoarse from dryness and choked with tears.

The exorcist closed the distance between the two of you, pulling your quivering body adjacent to his. "I'm here. I'm here." His soft voice cooed you, grounding you.

Chongyun, like you, was held up by crushing expectations yet he somehow succeeded. You fell under the pressure, unable to escape the shadows of your parents's projection. As heirs, the two of you were longtime friends and he knew of your fears, your phobia of not achieving anything substantial. He was always there, by your side but even then, he couldn't fully comprehend what you suffer through.

"I can't do this anymore." You murmured, shaking your head. "I can't do this anymore, Chongyun..."

Chongyun went silent, opting to soothe you through his action than words. He's never been particularly good with words and thus decided it'd be best to let his actions speak. He pulled you tight into his arms, holding your shaky figure against him. He let your tears soak his shirt, allowing you to cry and let it all out.

"You don't need to live for anyone's sake..." He muttered softly, gently combing through your hair with his slender fingers. "You don't need to sacrifice your happiness for other people."

It hurt, the emotions buried deep within you. It hurt to choke on the bitter sobs. It hurt to think about how the world has forsaken you. It hurt to breath and exist in a world where everyone, with the exception of Chongyun, demanded you to live up to their ungodly expectations.

Loud wails escaped you as you clutched onto the fabric of his shirt, hiccuping violently from the sobs. Chongyun nuzzled you close, holding you so tightly in fear that you may slip away and fall to the temptations of the voice lingering in your mind.

"I'm here for you... I'll always be here for you."

GOOD ENDING

° NEXT UP, XIAO